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Comment of the Week

I was going to make a comment about Gearhead Gertie's inconsistent leg length across different strips, but in researching this I discovered that if you type 'gearhead' into Google, 'Gertie' is not even one of the recommended next words in the list, and the realization of this comic's apparent lack of relevance in the subculture which it desperately seeks to inhabit made it all feel so pointless. I don't want to kick Gertie while she's down. She's doing enough of that on her own with those weird legs.

—Tristan Olson
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“Or maybe it’s actually a bracelet? It was $4”

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Mary Worth, 9/6/19

“Yes, ma cherie, I decided I wanted to give you a keepsake, back in the car when I realized you were going to make this a whole … how do you say? … thing. Par bonheur, I had time to duck into the airport gift shop when you were in the bathroom, weeping.”

Sam and Silo, 9/6/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because these women are literally running away from the overt and clearly unwanted sexual advances of their town’s only policemen!

Six Chix, 9/6/19

Hey, guys, the weekend’s coming up! Do you have any plans? Gonna hang out with some friends? Maybe do some late summer barbecuing? Go see a movie? Me, I’m going to be staying in, staring at today’s Six Chix, and trying to figure out what the fuck the quote marks around “like” are supposed to be doing.

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Thursday quickies

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Beetle Bailey, 9/5/19

I was about to say “Guys, you’re in the army” but … honestly, I can’t decide if that’s actually the joke or not? Like, literally one of the defining features of Beetle Bailey is that with many of their strips it’s hard to tell whether they’re making a sardonic commentary on the armed forces or militarism in general, or if they’ve literally forgotten the comic’s setting.

Blondie, 9/5/19

Ha ha, you guys heard about texting? Been pretty omnipresent for a solid decade or so? The teens love it, because they’ve never known a world without it? Texting! Pretty funny, huh????

Mary Worth, 9/5/19

“Maybe not for you, the person I want to be in a long-distance relationship, but … wait, I forgot where I was going with this.”

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“Hump day” is for dudes

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Marvin, 9/5/19

I’m not really a fan of the way Jeff and Guy Who I’m Reasonably Sure We’ve Never Seen Before But We’re Expected To Believe That He And Jeff Have This Long Backstory And Established Emotional Intimacy, And Also He’s Named “Bill,” I Guess, are looking at the viewer in the third panel, implicating us in their own retrograde view of masculinity. “It’s like, guys, am I right, people?” they’re thinking. “We’re incapable of feeding ourselves, and that’s why we’re dying of cardiovascular disease!”

Pluggers, 9/5/19

Pluggers know that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but more often it signifies the phallus, that potent symbol that proclaims and establishes male domination over society.