“Why not be picky? Iowans already suffer floods, blizzards, tornadoes, dust storms, and locusts. Why not give them something to restore their spirit and boost Iowa pride? Demand they show some Iowa grit, and go for having the world’s largest frying pan!! They’ll thank you for it.” –Paula Gehringer, on Facebook
“I was going to comment about how Peter crawling up the building and forcing open a window to ‘sneak a peek‘ made it sound like he was trying to peep on some woman, but then I realized it was far more likely that his TV simply broke, and that he was hoping a bedridden patient would be tuned into The Price Is Right.” –JJ48
“Look, if staring at metal strawberries is the price we pay for remaining in this strip without having to interact with any of the other characters, then prepare to be kitsched out of your mind!” –Le Chein D’Amour
“Have the Harwoods visited the Morgans’ house yet, to see the world’s longest wrap-around sofa?” –seismic-2
“We joke about Spidey doing stupid stuff, but he’s never done anything half as idiotic as a flying jump kick straight out of the 14th floor window of a hospital.” –Schroduck
“Freda’s, as we can tell from the monochromatic stock, only sells astronaut food purchased in bulk back in the ’70s when NASA scaled back its manned space program. I’m giddy with the prospect of Tommy’s new addiction to freeze-dried meatloaf and Tang.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid
” Question: Your partner is dangling precariously over a dangerous ravine on the remains of a rope bridge — what do you do? Answer: Throw a rock at him! Question: You don’t like your partner very much, do you? Answer: Nope!” –BigTed
“Spider-Man again exercises his true superpower: mouthing off to people who are in a position to kill him.” –matt w
“This is why artwork matters in comics. I can’t tell if the dog is holding a normal pistol, a phone with an ‘app’ that turns it into a pistol, or a phone set to post all those closeted dogs’ Grindr interactions directly to Facebook and there’s just incidental shadowing behind the phone that looks like a pistol barrel.” –jroggs
“The whole premise of The Addams Family is that despite rejecting societal norms the Addams are a kind and supporting family bound together by love and mutual respect. I guess what I’m getting at is that Bird Senator has my vote in November.” –Escape Zeppelin
“Hey buddy, if parading around in a crimson-red crushed velvet jumpsuit doesn’t get you looked at, I don’t know if anything’s gonna work.” –Dennis Jimenez
“I see Thel’s human form is breaking down. Instead of maintaining a skin-like façade between nose and chin, her mouth flows freely in a soup of flesh-like gel that’s just beginning to ooze from her head. Sam is wise to look away.” –Voshkod
“Spider-Man 101 is apparently not a physics course, as, given the weight and momentum of Peter Parker, his angle and distance from the building, and length of the web he just shot onto the wall, Spider-Man is about to swing back and go crashing through that hospital window.” –Tristan Olson
“The fact that a mid-afterlife is possible suggests that the afterlife has a midpoint, and thus doesn’t go on forever. I can’t determine whether this brings on anxiety, since it means I’ll have to face another death at some point after my first one, or possibly blessed relief from the crushing, oppressive tedium of eternity. Maybe tomorrow’s Rhymes With Orange will address this. I hope it does. I don’t want to have to resort to prayer.” –Larry McAwful
“Tune in tomorrow, when Slim’s package is returned to sender for insufficient postage.” –Pozzo
“Oh gracious, how I used to masturbate over those comic books! Heh heh. Good times.” –Alter Ego
“Though Earl ribbed her for ‘slumming,’ Henrietta had made some good friends by venturing outside her privileged existence. Yet as she struggled with the heavy boxes, she wondered whether it had been wise to befriend so many of the ladies in the Tyson plant.” –Herr Ausländischer Vögel
“Gotta be tough when you have a three-panel strip, but your joke only really takes two, cuz then you’re stuck with an extra one and all you can do is take that zany premise back to reality by having a character say something like ‘No, actually that funny thing that you said is not feasible, so let’s just move on.’” –pugfuggly
“The Amazing Spider-Man Euphemisms, ranked: 5. The Hard Way 4. How Hard 3. Stan Lee/Larry Lieber 2. FWIP 1. Wasting Jimmy Woo” –pastordan
