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Family Circus, 11/11/18

This is actually a properly heavy strip for Veteran’s Day! Kids, all these military toys and video games that are marketed to you nonstop make war seem like a hoot, but your dad knows the truth, after being forced to experience and do terrible things during [squints] the Guadalcanal Campaign in World War II.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/11/18

Does America go far enough in taking care of its veterans? Sure, we often fall short of our promise to provide them with high-quality health care that meets their specific needs; but at least it’s accepted that every single soldier is allowed to live out the rest of their lives as shiftless chicken thieves, to honor their service.

Beetle Bailey, 11/11/18

Say, did you ever want to know what everyone in Beetle Bailey’s ethnicity was? Well, here you go! Which of these do you think was literally just made up for today’s strip? It’s definitely that Rocky is Mexican, right?

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Hi and Lois, 11/10/18

Wait, but … Beetle Bailey and the Flagstons exist in the same universe! Beetle is Lois’s brother! The kids know him! Have they become suddenly and horrifyingly aware of their own status as cartoon characters? Will they attempt to escape, breaching the walls between dimensions and invading our own reality? God help us all!

Hagar the Horrible, 11/10/18

“Also, I’m a member of a murderous Viking warband. We fight people all the time, as we try to steal their precious belongings to bring back to Norway! But, as mentioned, I also hate myself. Is this … is this the kind of thing girls like? Talking about being a murderer with self-loathing? Does this make me ‘complicated?’”

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Folks, it’s Friday, so enjoy your comment of the week:

“From the look on Saul’s face and the way Greta snapped free of her leash, leaving the now-loose strand floating in the air, and is fleeing in unfocused, abject terror, I’d say Saul and Greta were greeted by Bella’s ghost image shimmering and electrically popping in the TV screen. ‘WHAT CUR DARES WEAR THE BOW TIE!?!’” –Deacon Blues

And enjoy your runners up!

“Consistency is the Amazing Spider-Man‘s greatest foe. I’ll grudgingly forgive the creators of this strip for forgetting Colleen had a sword strapped to her back last we saw her a few weeks ago, but I’m frankly troubled that we see Colleen walking forlornly away from the ruins of the Mammon Theater while Spider-Man looks despairingly in the exact opposite direction at the ruins of the Mammon Theater.” –jroggs

“Mrs Wilson is clearly not actually listening. ‘What’s so bad about that’ she asks as her husband tells her, with completely justified fury, that a 5-year old stole money from his wallet. It’s going to take her a month to notice when her husband dies from a Dennis-related heart attack.” –Rosstifer

“Big day for rejecting the idolatry of money: Mr. Wilson is learning that the power of capital is enforced only by collective arbitrary agreement that one piece of paper has worth and another doesn’t, and Peter is literally destroying a building called Mammon. Hoping tomorrow’s funnies bring us Marvin shitting on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.” –Dan

“Danny! You’re all right! And still a giant dick! I’m so … glad?” –Brutus Jay

“‘They’re just meat! Just plain, old, ordinary, disgusting flesh and blood, like you and me! There’s nothing special about them! They’re not magic!’ —Isabella Bannerman, while being dragged away in handcuffs from outside Buckingham Palace” –Joe Blevins

“Curtis continues, ‘Local kid uses newscaster syntax. The dosage on his meds: Better check it.’ But his words only echo in an empty house.” –Peanut Gallery

“Who do you think you’re fooling, Greg? You’re going out to buy a pack of cigarettes and you know it. If ever there was a time for smoking, this is it.” –made of wince

“Everything is moving along as planned. If you failed to notice, don’t worry: the glacial pace of this storyline is not perceptible to the naked eye. But if you compare our position with the beginning of this comic strip in the 1930s, you’ll notice some distinct changes.” –Ettore

“Greta still looks nervous, as she should. Saul appears to be adding a little chicken for flavor to a bowl of food made out of good dogs. Soon, it will be her turn. At least she’ll have the honor of being eaten from a bowl with her own name on it.” –pastordan

“Here’s a fun fact: thanks to a privileged lifestyle that actively discourages empathy, the Parkers don’t really have a facial expression that corresponds to ‘sorry.’ The best they can do is a kind of mix of ‘angry’ and ‘concerned’ that just makes it look like they’re slightly constipated.” –pugfuggly

“For the last time, we’re not sketchy; we’re stupid.” –JJ48

“Understandable, since the room’s function is completely mysterious. ‘What am I in here for? Is this a living room? A foyer? A very sparsely populated conservatory? HELP!’” –TheDiva

“I’d like to believe that Peter has purchased a set of Spider-Man pajamas from some big-box store that isn’t giving him any royalties, and that upon returning to his apartment he unironically changes out of his spider-suit and into his Spider-Man pajamas to lounge around the house just because he imagines his plainclothes self as being a big Spider-Man fan.” –Glires

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