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Panel from Slylock Fox, 1/14/18

The solution to this mystery is painfully obvious (the bat is upside down, you see!) so I’m going to pose a more complex question. Can we truly hold just one of our soccer-playing quartet, who for some reason have put on numbered uniforms for a two-on-two game, responsible for the broken window? After all, they collectively decided to play in dangerous proximity to Chez Beaver. Aren’t they similarly collectively responsible for the damage? This bat is quite the little narc, sowing discord where there should be solidarity and allowing three of these creatures to convince themselves that they’re not on the hook for what in truth they all did.

Curtis, 1/14/18

What sells this strip are the six panels setting up Greg’s quiet ecstacy at having some time to relax on the couch, making Curtis’s loud “rap” music all the harsher violation. I particularly enjoy the second panel in the top row, in which we see that Greg’s relationship with his sofa borders on the erotic.

Spider-Man, 1/14/18

Oh, say, remember how Dr. Connors had the same rare blood type as Bruce Banner, and so Bruce gave him a blood transfusion? Well, it seems they took too much blood from Bruce, and now he needs a blood transfusion! I’m not sure why, if Bruce has the same blood type as Doctor Connor and Spider-Man is able to donate blood to Bruce, he couldn’t have just skipped the middle man and donated directly to Doctor Connor, but that’s neither here nor there. The important thing to know is that the last time someone drew Spider-Man’s blood, a series of comical events led to him briefly assuming the identity of “Gown Man,” a superhero who climbed around on window ledges wearing an extremely short hospital gown, which had predictable results results in terms of everyone on the street below seeing Spider-Man’s junk. Can’t wait to see where this medical plotline’s going!

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Blondie, 1/13/18

I’ve often wondered why Elmo spends so much time at the Bumstead home instead of his own, and now we have an answer: he’s seeking a refuge away from his violent, volatile father.

Beetle Bailey, 1/13/18

Otto seeks the sweet release of ~total annihilation of the physical self~

Pluggers, 1/13/18

A plugger’s “one for the road” is a number two!

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No fuss, no muss: just your comments of the week!

“Mary’s fresh muffins are made with raisins, bran and a lot of love. But mostly bran. These two won’t be worrying about their love lives for at least the next couple of hours, because they’ll be busy fighting over the bathroom.” –BigTed

And the hilarious runners up!

“You can only see a tiny bit of the animal trivia mural he painted on his wall, which reads:

HAMMERHEAD SHARKS
HAVE SEVEN SENSES” –Schroduck, on Twitter

“Joey hasn’t even started going to school yet. You’re not a menace, Dennis, you’re an asshole.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“Chip’s look of disgust in the penultimate panel is priceless. ‘Oh, man,’ he thinks. ‘There go my afternoon plans of swimming naked in the town square, begging the populace for spare change, and siccing my dogs on unsuspecting passersby.’” –Joe Blevins

“This rare blood type, is it purple? Because that’s what’s coming out of Connor.” –Hogenmogen

“I didn’t have Newspaper Spider-Man pegged as a public transit advocate, but what better way to avoid gridlock and reach major employment centers like hospitals than Miami Metro?” –NoVan

“Change dot org petition to prevent any Funkyverse character from ever again being referred to as an ‘Old Baller.’” –Dan

“The Weston family calendar looks pretty empty, now that Wilbur’s erased ‘splashing’ and ‘stalking’ from his schedule. ‘Eating four more muffins’ does not count as a life-plan, buddy.” –Hopesters

“Today Wilbur starts his new book, I Survived but I Wish I Hadn’t.” –Mikey

“No I didn’t misspeak. When I say see him laugh, I mean it. As we’re solely a visual medium void of all sounds. I’m not sure whether to be thankful that I can’t hear these assholes I have to spend time with, or … no, scratch that, I am very very thankful.” –DimensionalOtter

“Giraffes are gentle herbivores but when it comes to Rusty I hope they’ll make an exception.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Ah, I see the squirrels of Lost Forest have finally completed their giraffe-mech. Let’s watch that little bastard Andy chase them now!” –Voshkod

“The Lockhorns are ‘life partners‘ because it’s not legal in their state to marry your identical cousin.” –Miles O’Thrillhouse, on Twitter

“That’s the response of a mom who offered to help earlier in the week and is now smugly watching their child try to complete the project as the bus approaches. THIS mid-morning sherry will be extra sweet.” –Kevin on Earth

“The shovel’s purpose is clear. This is now the only way that Bull can have a bowel movement. If a bear shits in the woods, a Bull shits on the football field.” –seismic-2

“Aside from any of the women at all, is there a duller Funky Winkerbean character than Buck? He’s sort of a lunkhead ex machina.” –Uncle Lumpy

“If Lucky Eddie is literate at all (unlikely) it would be in the rune marks of his people, certainly not in handwritten modern English. I think he’s disturbed because he can only assume the incomprehensible chirography on the woman’s hand is some form of eldritch script and he’s doomed to go mad from even a glimpse of it.” –TheDiva

“Ok, Hagar might lose points for ignoring their illiteracy, but you have to give some credit for the woman’s outfit. Sure, at first glance it looks like a low-cut pink top of today. But they went out of their way to show the whole thing was woven from coarse scratchy fibers, something from before their were more comfortable fabrics. The color would have to be orchil so is quite faded, reflecting a time when such garments would be expensive enough to pass down as heirlooms. And I don’t know that Norse women actually turned away would-be suitors by carrying dismembered hands to set them up with, but it seems plausible.” –pachoo

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