Post Content

Family Circus, 3/16/18

God damn that is one smug looking turtle, you guys. It’s like he’s thinking to himself, “I might’ve been late getting on the ark, but at least I got there, if you follow me? Eh? Eh? Behemoth and leviathan? This guy knows what I’m talking about.”

Beetle Bailey, 3/16/18

I don’t know if that dagger is military issue or if it’s something Sarge ordered from some creepy-ass knife catalog like the ones my elderly neighbor got and used to show to me without me asking or indicating in any way that I wanted to see them, but I love the fact that he’s got what’s clearly meant to be a vicious weapon for close-in combat and using it for an act of joy, which is to say hewing off chunks of a giant sandwich that he’s gorging on continuously over a 24-hour period.

Gil Thorp, 3/16/18

Guys, guys

the social justice teens

are going to defeat Marty Moon

in the marketplace of ideas

Post Content

Mary Worth, 3/15/18

Oh, well, this is nice, Wilbur and Dawn are saying a heartfelt goodbye before she leaves on a three-month trip, and … WAIT A MINUTE, COMPUTER: ENHANCE

I guess that’s a coloring mishap that’s rendered Wilbur’s flesh a weird green color, and that that’s his wrist and hand bending around Dawn’s shoulder, but it sure looks like a ghastly tentacle is writhing out of Wilbur’s sleeve and wrapping around his daughter as he finally reveals his true form. He shouldn’t be alive, but he is, because he’s one of the ageless Old Ones whose human fleshsuit is starting to slough off!

Dick Tracy, 3/15/18

Ah, it looks like Ghost Pepper isn’t dead after all, and Dick is a little too confident of his ability to kill his enemies indirectly. Fortunately, there are lots of ways a man (a ghost? a ghost-man?) can die fleeing from trigger-happy cops down a snowy mountainside!

Family Circus, 3/15/18

You know how the Keane Kompound walls are generally vast, featureless voids? Well, Mommy has finally decided to do something about it! Too bad she waited until after the endless undifferentiated emptiness drove her insane.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 3/14/18

Wow, these guys went through a lot of trouble to set up a camp in conjunction with the zoo to capture lost, terrified circus animals, and yet they seem pretty mad that one of said circus animals is, uh, lost, terrified, and acting pretty much like you’d expect? Whatever, we all know that this strip has an unaccountable bias against our elephant friends, who it’s described as vicious, murderous yam thieves, so I’m not surprised Mark and company are referring to this poor creature as a “beast” and apparently preparing to take it on in hand- and stick-to-tusk combat.

Dick Tracy, 3/14/18

Hey, so, there was a Dick Tracy plot a couple months ago that I didn’t even cover because it happened so fast where Dick was kidnapped and left to die out in the snow but then almost immediately rescued by … I want to say Gravel Gertie, I think? Anyway, it didn’t really have much of an arc to it, if you follow me, and the same can be said for this plot, which practically sprinted from “Dude incurs Ghost Pepper’s wrath by trying to buy his restaurant” to “Ghost Pepper is dead from massive head trauma” in only a month, which in soap opera strip terms is like one of those extremely brief periods of time that you only need to even think about when discussing the decay of subatomic particles. Maybe the point is to accelerate the crime-adventure-dead criminal cycle, and if we’re not going to see villains eaten alive by rats anymore, at least what we lose in the baroque nature of their deaths we’ll make up for in sheer quantity.