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Phantom, 8/10/25

One of Phantom‘s many charms is its meticulous attention to aviation history. That doomed B-17F Flying Fortress is the Miss Nonalee II, captured and looted by the Luftwaffe at at the end of 1943, then repainted with German markings for clandestine operations. Phantom’s raceplane is F-ANPY, one of two de Havilland DH.88 Comets sold to the French and last seen in poor condition at Étampes, France, on 16 June 1940, the day the Germans invaded. So these particular aircraft could plausibly have wound up in this Phantom timeline.

But I’m worried about the Walkers’ marriage. Look at the guy, fully suited up at breakfast, pecking at his miserable egg and millet with his mind clearly on work, no eye contact (no eyes!), cryptic communications, keeping secrets until there’s no turning back yikes. And “Remove the …? !!–the canopy!?” sounds to me like Phantom will indeed be flying with Diana tonight, but she’ll be landing all alone.

Next: New Adventure—Savarna Comforts the Ghost-Who-Grieves

Crankshaft, 8/10/25

Plenty of local detail here to justify a sweet tax deduction for the author’s “research” trip to Winnipeg: mascot Boomer there, Coach O’Shea’s beard, and #86 wide receiver Kennans Clercius. The embedded joke is that this is an actual stunt play that could work to shake off tight coverage: the slot back moves before the snap to misdirect defenders; QB hands the ball off to the slot back, who hands to Clercius, who flips to the running back, who throws to the QB. The curl “sluggo” (slant-and-go) route is a misdirect by the split end to open a seam for the QB to run through after the catch. It works in Canadian football because pre-snap motion (the “waggle”) is permitted and the field is wider, so there’s time and space to spread out the defenders.

But the funny part is seeing the Crankshaft frog-marched off to prison, just like the author will be once the IRS learns that Boomer’s #00 jersey is gold, not blue. Hey, it would work in Slylock Fox and Dick Tracy, why not here?

Luann, 8/10/25

Ha, ha, the DA pushed for “intent to defraud” and Brad didn’t plead out. Saved seventy-eight cents; got five years. So I ask: is a year of Brad’s life really worth sixteen cents? Let’s have a reader poll!

Dustin, 8/10/25

“Paparazzi, Fitch? What about that guy in the corner with the sketch pad and colored pencils? He thinks I don’t see him, but I do … always. My life is not my own. You think it’s the camera that makes paparazzi intrusive?”

—Uncle Lumpy

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Marvin, 8/9/25

Sincere thanks to the editors who demanded that Marvin‘s creative team add the garden hose, change the punchline, and recolor the runoff.

Blondie, 8/9/25

Like me, Dagwood is of a generation for whom drinking out of the backyard hose brings back cherished summer memories of refreshment, petty transgression, and freedom. If Elmo’s lemonade was tapped from such a wellspring of fond nostalgia, Dagwood will savor it all the more. Nevertheless, he’ll make damn sure it came from Elmo’s own backyard, not that pissy toddler’s up the block.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/9/25

And anyway, it could be a lot worse.

9 Chickweed Lane, 8/9/25

Way back in 2016, I outlined the problem faced by 9 Chickweed Lane after the 2008 consummation of Amos’s and Edda’s courtship, which resolved the sexual tension that had long been the foundation of the strip. The solution, then as now, was to create Amos and Edda surrogates and run the whole will-they-or-won’t-they routine (spoiler alert: they will) over and over again.

But after nine years of barely disguised reruns, the narrative present has become overrun with Amos and Edda surrogates whispering coy innuendos, sublimating their lust into musical performance, and humping all over the damn place. What to do?

Apparently this: slip the bounds of time and plant those recaps in the past and future. Hence today’s legacy Edda demanding attention from prepubescent Amos, the pair’s future children, teenage twins Lolly and Polly, tormenting their own thralls, and an assortment of past, present, and future walk-on foils being sexually one-upped by the regulars. One constant is that they all seem to migrate to this lake here, which by now has got to be more grotty than Marvin’s pool.

Hi there, faithful reader! I’m sitting in for Josh through Sunday the 17^th, with a sampling of comics even Josh won’t touch, as well as the old soapers I know you crave. If you run into any issues with the site, subscriber emails, or Patreon posts, please contact me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll do what I can to help. Enjoy!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Hi all! Your comment of the week in a moment, but first, a programming note: I’ll be on vacation for the next week and change and will leave you in the hands of your favorite Uncle Lumpy. I’ll be back posting on Monday, August 18th. Be nice while I’m gone! And because Uncle Lumpy can’t bear to choose from amongst you, the following comment of the week will get two full weeks in the spotlight!

“I know somebody probably just woke her up but I’d be more interested in her as a character if Neddy waited until she was nice and cozy in bed because it soothes her to get Randy all agitated and that makes for a pleasant, restful sleep.” –Tabby Lavalamp

These runners up also will live on for eternity (or at least for two weeks):

“Imagine if when you die, you’re transported to the bardo and your entire vision is filled with the face of a universe-sized Barry booming ‘Suppose our souls are here to fulfill some grand purpose?’ I’d begging for good old Judeo-Christian Hell after that sight.” –Schroduck

“Cody has made the rookie mistake of predicating his next move on something happening in Rex Morgan, M.D. He could be well on his way to his next reincarnation before one of his half-sibs decides to respond to or even read a message that begins, ‘I am your long-lost half brother.’” –But What Do I Know?

“Why are there large ensembles of characters in every single Slylock Fox tableau? Can’t there ever be one-on-ones between characters? Every displayed panel makes the strip seem like a Fellini comic for kids.” –Bob Tice

“Herb goes full jailhouse lawyer when he gets a fix or desist notice from the board of health. Jamaal thinks; ‘Just shut up and clean the damn grease hood.’” –Hibbleton

“Cody’s on the road while he waits for a response from his half siblings. He probably should have set up his stage in an arena instead of in the middle of I-30 during rush hour, but he didn’t quite understand what ‘being on the road’ meant. It’s only a question of whether the commuters or the cops get him first now.” –Voshkod

“The lines of prejudice are already drawn in the post-Animalpocalypse world, with the hippos being profiled as lumbering and clumsy. They will retaliate by waiting until Granny and her grandson are walking by the pond in the park, grabbing them in their powerful jaws, and dragging them to a watery grave.” –TheDiva

“Today’s Slylock Fox answers the tail question: The tail comes out over the pants and under the jacket. This is perfectly modest because even when a fox is bipedal, his tail is above his butt. I’m sure a lot of information on the anthropomorphic fox tail/butt question can be found on the internet, where I will not look for it.” –matt w

“Goat kid has a modern gaming console, but has to wait until grandma is out shopping to indulge in that most popular of activities among the youth, indoor hopping on a pogo stick.” –Comrade Gordon

“It adds an extra layer of humor for me to imagine that Andy is only just coming home well after sunrise, having spent most of the night in hospital or, more likely, unconscious behind the bar. His wife is only a little curious about what happened to him, having resigned herself to the fact that he’s never going to die.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“No, no, no! Whatever else is true about Gertie, she’s not wearing bootleg Earnhardt shirts in public! She’s going to shell out the money for a decent font with a border, not this teal-and-black nightmare!” –Victor Von

“Really love the middle-distance stare Mary gives as she spits out those local beach names. I guess the Google Brain chip installation really took!” –pugfuggly

“If NOT ME is transparent, then why does his forearm partially obscure his face, even as the beach behind is fully visible? Is this consistent with the rules of phantasmoptics?” –Guts Dozier

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