Main content:

Comics archive! Mark Trail

Sporting life

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Today is the last day of the Comics Curmudgeon 2015 Spring Fundraiser. If you’ve considered contributing but haven’t yet, now would be a great time! Newspaper comics are an endangered form of entertainment, and the Comics Curmudgeon is one of the ways they stay alive online. Please help — Thank you!

Gil Thorp, 4/24/15

Don’t worry — Gil hasn’t squeezed all the air out of that blonde in the pink outfit and glasses; they’re actually two separate people. The one on the left is an Athletic Department admin, currently down in HR filling out a sexual harassment complaint. The one on the right is Marjie Ducey, the local newspaper sports reporter who shows up when the strip needs to unload some exposition.

So Wednesday night Aunt Lumpy and I were watching our beloved local major-league baseball team squeak out a win over their hated rival from the detestable Southern Part of the State, a team whose name is literally synonymous with evasion and cowardice. Watching a slow-motion replay of our heroic pitcher’s delivery, Aunt Lumpy wondered aloud “how do these guys not hurt themselves every game?” Now comes Gil Thorp, who is putting True Standish in as pitcher. You remember True Standish — the phenomenal nationally-ranked quarterback who has a scholarship lock at any college he chooses? The guy who led the Mudlarks to their first state championship since the Pleistocene? Accident-prone True Standish?

True to form, Gil cannot find a way to care about the kid’s welfare or future — his mind is all on wrapping up this interview and rushing over to his chiropractor’s office.

Mark Trail, 4/24/15

Wallace Wood “just wants one good year selling his lumber” so he can ask Susan to marry him. But ha ha, Nature hates Wally, and is determined to ruin his life. Parasitoids got the emerald ash borers under control? No problem, we’ll burn his trees to the ground. Fire goes out? No problem, we’ll get those beavers to put his land under water. Breach in the dam? Ha! That wolf will just stone-cold attack and eat Wally. Wally escapes the wolf? No prob, we’ve got a moose around here somewhere.

Find yourself a nice city fella, Susan.

Sherman’s Lagoon, 4/24/15

OK OK OK so Team Sherman here narrowly beat Paul Allen’s sub to sunken WWII battleship Musashi. They found the keys still in the ignition, and it started right up! But Allen’s research vessel, incomprehensibly armed, is closing in fast.

Allen, of course, owns the Seattle Seahawks, hated rival of our beloved local National Football League team, so I’m kinda hoping maybe the Musashi’s guns work, too? Is that so wrong?

Just a reminder that there is no Comment of the Week when I sit in — Enlong’s gem gets to ride up top a little longer.

–Uncle Lumpy

Wednesday short cuts

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

The 2015 Spring Fundraiser is in full swing — don’t miss your chance for a Comics Curmudgeon tote bag and hand-crafted Matt Crowe refrigerator magnet. Contribute now!

Dick Tracy, 4/22/15

Any gang that attracts Neil Young, Hercule Poirot, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn is a force to be reckoned with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/22/15

Rex Morgan explores the narrow isthmus of moral terrain between “social-media shaming” and “mob hit.”

Gasoline Alley, 4/22/15

Ooh, ooh, pick me — I know this one! Parasitoids! Right, Mrs. Hatley?

Mark Trail, 4/22/15

“If this works, some of your trees might potentially not get too damaged — so it’s possible not all your years of effort were wasted, and you might not have to go completely bankrupt quite as quickly! It’s like it’s your birthday or something!”

–Uncle Lumpy

Friday horror

Shoe, 5/17/15

This is your occasional reminder that the owners of the intellectual property rights to the Blondie comic strip attempted to make a Dagwood Sandwiches restaurant chain happen, and it all ended in lawsuits and acrimony.

Gasoline Alley and Mark Trail, 5/17/15

This is your occasional reminder that there are thousands — millions — of insects, and they’re coming — they’re coming for you and your livelihood. They’re crawling everywhere. And who’s going to stop them? The government? You believe their promises? Fools, you’re all fools!

Hey, guys, I’m going on vacation! Uncle Lumpy will be here slingin’ jokes while I gallivant about. So be nice! I’ll be back on the 29th, assuming the insects haven’t devoured us all by then! (The insects will definitely have devoured us all.)