Gil Thorp, 6/9/16
Holy crap, I’ve been reading Gil Thorp for more than a decade and I’m reasonably sure this is the first time they’ve actually killed off a character! (I’m not counting the time Coach Kaz punched a guy in the brain.) The victim was sassy, beloved Boo Radley, who briefly dated golden boy True Standish and just pitched a no-hitter; she died in a multi-car pileup caused by drunken Pa Bader, who decided that driving sober was for people who can’t close. Will his monster of a son still obnoxiously defend him now that he’s killed one of his own classmates? Probably not, since there’s only like a week or two left until the end of the spring storyline. Anyway, things are gonna get grim!
Family Circus, 6/9/16
This senseless tragedy really puts Billy’s petty problems in perspective, doesn’t it? Still, I appreciate the effort he’s going to here to really wallow in his gloom. He’s wearing all black, to commemorate the day he turned his back on the God who failed him and pledged his allegiance to Satan.
At least we can count on the solid, charming laughs of Blondie to cheer us up! Ha ha, poor people, am I right? What a bunch of scam artists!
Gil Thorp, 5/24/16
Despite having read Gil Thorp on the daily for literally more than a decade, I don’t actually know that much about high school sports! For instance, last week I boldly declared that the girls’ softball team was blatantly repurposed clip art of the girls’ basketball team, given that they were wearing uniforms that consisted of shorts and tank tops. In my experience softball uniforms looked more or less like boys’ baseball uniforms, and also included certain key pieces of equipment, such as hats and gloves. But here they are again, in those same outfits, only now there’s a glove involved? Is this really what softball uniforms looks like? Occasionally yes, according to Google Image Search! Shorts, really! How do you slide in those things?
Meanwhile, Papa Bader is learning that the go-go chemical solvent lifestyle is no place for a guy trying to avoid drunk driving. Jumbo orders means jumbo alcohol! It’s the salesman’s code!
I’m pretty sure I’ve read at least one version of the marketing copy for Pluggers that contains the word “celebrate.” But the last couple days, man …. whoo. The plugger lifestyle isn’t gonna sell itself, guys, and this certainly isn’t helping.
Funky Winkerbean, 5/21/16
When I was in DC for my book tour last month, at one point I found myself downtown-ish with time to kill, so I looked up the nearest Starbucks with the intention of parking myself there and soaking up the free wi-fi. It quickly became clear that I had in fact selected the Starbucks closest to the White House, and had to walk right in front of the White House to get there! Anyway, here’s some news if, like me, you haven’t been in that part of town since the mid-’00s: they’ve totally rebuilt Pennsylvania Avenue in that section as a very pleasant pedestrian mall, and you can actually get quite close to the White House now, at least as close as you could get in the ’80s when I was a kid, if not closer. Far be it for me to imply that Funky Winkerbean didn’t do the research here, so I’m instead going to assume that Toque Boy is just being extremely sarcastic, and Les’s look of crushing self-loathing at having just been publicly owned by one of his students is the real punchline.
Gil Thorp, 5/21/16
Hey, so, it looks like the girls softball team has been forced to play their games wearing their basketball uniforms! Clearly better funding is in order, by which I mean both better funding for high school athletic departments so that athletes can wear sport-appropriate uniforms and also better funding for comics so artists don’t just say “Enh fuck it” and drop in some clip art from three months earlier into their strips.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/21/16
Ha ha, it’s funny because the Smiths are so poor that not having the kids at home means they won’t go hungry for once!