Post Content

Gil Thorp, 4/30/24

This week in Gil Thorp we’ve learned that star Mudlark pitcher Leo Atazhoon is Native American (this may actually not be new info but rather just something I forgot) and also (definitely new information) lives on the “Milford Rez.” This sent me spinning into new realms of the perennial “Where is Milford, anyway?” question until today, when we learn that he’s, uh, probably in one of four states, out West, where the climate doesn’t match what we see in the strip? Unless he’s Navajo and living on a non-Navajo reservation which is … possible, I guess, but I don’t think that’s something that happens all that often? Anyway, don’t let these cultural/geographical questions distract you from two of the funniest things that have every happened in Gil Thorp, which are the director (?) guy doing that frame thing with his fingers and a narration box that says “Leo Atazhoon. Pitcher. Vegan.”

Gasoline Alley, 4/30/24

Good news, everyone! Gasoline Alley’s name will forever remain “Gasoline Alley,” just like Walt named it back in the day! Bad news: Walt is about to be aggressively pepper-sprayed for damaging public property, then tasered for “resisting arrest.”

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 4/27/24

I’m not sure what the current consensus on how to win over the teenage kids of the divorced dad you’re currently fucking, but bribing them with video games and comics strikes me as pretty good. Kind of dubious that Dick Tracy should be the go-to comic here, but it seems to have worked, so I guess she did her research.

Mary Worth, 4/27/24

Can you imagine getting reduced to a bloody smear on the asphalt by an SUV while you’re screaming obscenities at Wilbur Weston? Can you imagine that the last thing you think or feel is a boundless, seething contempt for this man, a contempt that occupies you so completely that you don’t even notice the car vrrooming towards you? I can. Frankly this has now rocketed to the very top of the list of ways I want to go out.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/27/24

Close, Snuffy! Given the rustic setting, the real way to bamboozle those effette urban dwellers is to market this junk pile as outsider art.

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 4/6/24

I’m sorry, Sarge doesn’t know any “raunchy” songs. He may be a brute who spends his days preparing men for the horrors of war by delivering arbitrary violence upon them, but in many ways he seems quite naive. He definitely doesn’t know what sex is, for instance.

Mary Worth, 4/6/24

Look, man, we all enjoyed Wilbur’s total karaoke emotional meltdown from last April and his public karaoke-off with his ex the previous November, but I feel like this is going to the well one too many times. I’m over it! I’m going to try to get over how positively delighted Mary looks at the thought of Wilbur “pulling in” hapless “ladies” for unsatisfying sex and even less satisfying relationship behavior, but that’s going to take some time.

Gil Thorp, 4/6/24

As someone who relies on the syndicated newspaper strip Gil Thorp to discover what the teens are into, I’m excited to learn that what they’re into is beloved Gen X indie rocker Aimee Mann, and what they want to hear from her is “Red Vines,” the single from her 2000 album Bachelor No. 2. Naturally, being a 49-year-old man who thought of himself as vaguely hip 24 years ago, I find this news satisfying and will be doing no further research on the subject of teen musical tastes in the year 2024.