It’s true! Take a look:
Ed Crankshaft: democracy’s downside.
Curtis wishes he could mass-murder these helpless animals, by neglecting them.
Likkered up on palm wine, the Phantom prepares to give Chatu a savage, untraceable beat-down.
Edge City, 7/25/14
Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin and husband Len are only ever one minor inconvenience away from tearing each other apart — beneath the merest tissue of propriety and shame, they are the Lockhorns. Let’s watch as their terror of Nature’s implacable power drives them to consume one another in acts of savagery. Hey, maybe we could pop some corn and make an evening of it!
Six Chix, 7/25/14
It’s funny because … Oh what am I even saying it’s not funny at all.
Once again, no Comments of the Week on my watch. However, Novelist Joshua Fruhlinger will be back with a big steamin’ batch of them plus lots more comics fun on Monday.
– Uncle Lumpy
Boy, pluggers sure are getting in touch with their own inevitable and rapidly approaching death, aren’t they? I certainly hope that the first draft of this panel featured our dog-man hero holding up the suit in question and giving it a good, long stare; maybe there was a thought balloon in which he visualized this last good suit on his embalmed corpse, while well-wishers stood around, not looking at him, telling each other in hushed tones that it was better this way, that he was done suffering and in a better place. This panel was of course sent back to Pluggers HQ by the syndicate with “WAY TOO GRIM DUDE” scrawled across it, but I like to imagine it’s still hanging up over the drafting board, as a reminder.
Funky Winkerbean, 6/13/14
Oh hey Wally and Rachel got married this week, everybody! As you can see, the God of the Funkyverse cannot allow any happy occasion to emerge unscathed, so their outdoor wedding has been disrupted by a sudden freak thunderstorm. They tried their best to finish the ceremony, but as panel two reveals, their friends and loved ones gave up on the event a while ago.
Beetle Bailey, 6/13/14
Beetle’s primary and defining characteristics are that he’s extremely lazy and does a half-assed job at everything, so I refuse to believe that whatever desultory, fumbling, fully-clothed sex act just happened in that parked jeep merited any kind of souvenir.
Edge City, 6/13/14
There are plenty of off-putting running gags in Edge City, but obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin’s occasional attempts to get her husband interested in BDSM are among the off-puttingest.
Wizard of Id, 6/13/14
At last, it’s the Wizard of Id-B.C. crossover strip you’ve been waiting for! It’s a golf joke about getting hit in the nuts.
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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith,
Mary Beth announces her plans t’ butcher and wed Jughaid based on wildly inaccurate folk anatomy. Upside: plenty of sausage t’ serve at th’ reception!
Hey, remember that one summer we rented a lake cottage but it rained all week so we scoured the bookstores and sat at the kitchen table passing around Kurt Vonnegut paperbacks and eating popcorn? And I had to explain to my sister how Ice-9 worked, and felt vaguely uncomfortable watching my Mom read Welcome to the Monkey House?
You DON’T? You mean it wasn’t part of your experience, and hearing some jackass narrate his private recollections isn’t compelling entertainment? Wow, somebody explain that to Jeff here, wouldja?
Mary Worth, 3/19/14
Or maybe these three things are actually just one thing? Hey, I know! Tell him if he had a job he could buy one of those adorable flat cars with the greywall tires!
Funky Winkerbean, 3/19/14
In Westview, smoking is an aspirational vice — the stylish path to a miserable death. The losers who can’t afford $5.67 a pack have to chug contaminated groundwater or huff radon.
Sorry, Greg — once those quotes go up on your “cool,” they never come down.
Edge City, 3/19/14
Hey, Len — that’s pretty “cool”!
Words to live by: “Life is just too damn short to go around carrying store-brand tote bags.”
– Uncle Lumpy