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Hey, kids! Weekend comics roundup!

That promised weekend wrap-up metapost will be coming soon, but I thought you might enjoy, you know, some comics commentary or something. I had originally planned to skip over the comics from the days I was away, but of course I had to read them to catch up, and some of them just called to me, so here are the highlights of all the stuff I missed. (Sorry in advance if I step on anyone’s snark, I haven’t had time to go over the weekend’s 1000+ comments in depth…)

They’ll Do It Every Time, 6/22/07

Yeah, I know, this one’s from Friday, but faithful reader anne failed to tell me in advance that “Anne D.” was her! So, enjoy another moment in Curmudgeonly TDIET domination.

Archie, 6/23/07

You know, I don’t think we give the Archie Joke-Generating Laugh Unit 3000 enough credit. If you gave a mere human the task of of creating a comic strip in which a teenage boy sprays a sexy teenage girl with a hose but which is nevertheless entirely homoerotic in subtext, he or she would invariably stalk off, proclaiming loudly that such a thing is impossible. The AJGLU 3000 merely churns through data and chugs forward implacably to its programmed destination.

Crankshaft, 6/24/07

“Yeah, see, we call them that because sooner or later one of them is going to have a massive myocardial infarction right there in the booth. Ha ha! Hopefully I won’t be on duty when that happens, ’cause they’d probably make me help move the corpse.”

Mary Worth, 6/24/07

This may be the most frankly sexual Mary Worth (and is there a more disturbing four-word sequence in the English language?) in the strip’s long history. Dr. Jeff’s attempts offer up his son has a substitute object of Mary’s affections are quickly quashed. Mary then goes on at great length about her plans to pimp the junior Dr. Corey out to every woman at the party; she’s so excited at the prospect that her ascot has been knocked askew. Dr. Jeff, while obviously proud of his son’s virility and sexual fitness, expresses his concern over the young fellow’s man-whoring. To cap things off, we get the image of a bee pollinating a flower, soon to fly off to another, illustrating Drew’s “love ’em and leave ’em” policy in one of the most discomfort-inducing metaphorical fashions possible (presumably instead of spreading pollen from blossom to blossom, he brings chlamydia instead). Will Vera’s womanly parts be the hive that will trap this bee with its sweet, sweet honey? Stay tuned!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/07

The most awesome thing about this Rex Morgan is that every single thing that Hugh is saying is in fact 100 percent demonstrably true, and yet he’s being drawn like a paranoid lunatic drama queen. Panel four, in which he waves his highly trained pointing figure around while he stares goggle-eyed and shouts accusations at nobody in particular, with June rolling her eyes in contempt, is particularly choice. Heather can only defuse the situation by again busting out the “Boo hoo my poor rich husband is dead or possibly floating in the icy North Atlantic” waterworks, which strategy will presumably have diminishing returns.

Gil Thorp, 6/25/07

OH MY GOD CLAMBAKE IS A FRAUD! I’m more than a little embarrassed to admit that I didn’t see this coming at all. I’m looking forward to the shocking revelation that not only was he never in the Negro Leagues, but he’s really just a Greek guy with a good tan!

Sally Forth, 6/25/07

I swear to God, the first time I looked at this, I though Sally’s thought balloon read “I wonder how high I could get before losing my job.”

Ralph, meanwhile, is fooling nobody by poking at a keyboard that isn’t attached to anything. “Easy Ralph … easy … she’ll forget you’re here in a minute … then uncross her ankles … that’s right … any minute now…”

Wizard of Id, 6/25/07

Ha ha! Id is an absolute monarchy and the king’s power isn’t checked by any other institution or law, so he can order the gruesome torture of any of his subjects for the slightest of insults! Ha! The press secretary’s arms have probably both popped out of their sockets, and he’ll die in agony over a series of days! Ah, whimsy.

Gasoline Alley, 6/26/07

Gasoline Alley has been so breathtakingly dull lately, what with plots about sleep apnea and tinnitus by turns, that I haven’t felt the urge to note its continued existence for the last seven months. Today looks promising, however, as it seems to herald the beginning of a new story about how awful it is when black people move into the neighborhood.

185 responses to “Hey, kids! Weekend comics roundup!”

  1. willethompson
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Gasp! Sweet, sweet air!

  2. dreadedcandiru2
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    At least the waitresses in the Crankshaft don’t have to deal with cancercancercancer all day. Just a bunch of old guys moaning about how things didn’t use to be.

  3. MossMoses
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Mary’s a gardening s an expert, all right. Aldo first noticed Mary’s lovely calves when she was gardening and made some corny rose related pickup line. Gardening is yet another invitation to meddle into other peoples’ private lives. Don’t condo associations usually take care of the landscaping and gardening, rather than resident meddling biddies? Don’t worry Mary, no one will ever confuse you with a brain surgeon although your specialty is to mess with peoples minds…

    Chinbeard is buttering Mary Worth up for access to the object of his amorous lust, Vera Shields. Drew notices the soul sucking, sterile nature of Charterstone pool parties and isn’t afraid to thought balloon about it… I’m down with Team Drew!

    I could write an entire book (of blank pages) about the law enforcement efforts of Lost Forest police. “We’ll just sit her drinking coffee and eating donuts. You go out there vigilante style, take the law into your own hands and let us know what you find out Mark, okay”? The bird strike was all mallards. How would trapping geese have anything at all to do with commercially raised trans gendered mallards?

    Shannon’s stump speech is some really awful dreck. Does it get any treaclier? Quick April, get her off that table before someone else does it forcibly for her.

    Baldo’s car lust is repugnant. Why isn’t he more aware of global warming like that 14 year old runt troll, Sophie?

  4. kat
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    If some educators are looking for a sure fire new abstinence program, all they need is a projection screen and panel two of MW with the caption: “Mary Worth has sex.” That would kill any teenage urges. It could also double as an interrogation tool at Guantanamo.

  5. Rocky Jones
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Can someone help me here regarding the Mark Trail bird-strike story plot? Specifically, was it ever established how Lost Forest Lothario there figured out that the strike was not a natural occurence?
    The sheriff or whatever-the-hell-he-is mentioned that there tends to be a lot of geese flocking in the area, so they’re pretty easy to trap,
    so couldn’t that just be the reason Mark and his hussy flew into them?

  6. Kirbyoto
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Today’s Rex Morgan is an orgy of fingerpointing, or at least it is until Heather is all “BOO HOO HOO MILTON :(“

  7. namowal
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    I thought Sally Forth was saying “I wonder how high I could get…” too when I first read it. The misread version is better. I bet the newspapers and syndicates get angry email by others who read it wrong, accusing Sally of promoting drugs, corrupting the kids and the rest.
    While I’m at it, what kind of person takes her shoes off and props them up by someone’s FACE? That’s nasty.

  8. BigTed
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    While we can all appreciate Archie’s desire to simultaneously make Veronica angry and put her in a wet T-shirt, it’s clear that part of her still isn’t quite angry enough…..

  9. pumafan
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    #5 — Rocky Jones, Mark did a little CSI:LoFo on the he/she mallard and determined that its gut was full of commercial feed.

    Btw, how’s Cleolanta?

  10. andreavis
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Screw you, Ken– Clambake is real. I WANT TO BELIEVE!

    Although I am wondering how tiny little Clambake is getting his arm around Ken’s shoulders. And I’m a bit dubious that it’s going to help Ken focus on the game, either…

  11. T. Chicana
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    We didn’t get those first two Mary Worth panels here in Cleveland Sunday! Did Mary say that “star in my sky” stuff out loud, or was it a thought bubble? Because it doesn’t look like a speech bubble, but it also isn’t real clear that she’s just saying it to herself, either. It’s so weird! Just have the s.e.x., Mary, ya old biddie! I don’t know why this has been bothering me so much lately. It’s sick.
    ‘Shaft: I had the same reaction. It took me a minute…see, they’re eating like, bacon & eggs, and who knows maybe coffee isn’t good for you (?) so one of them is up for their ticker exploding soon. The Browns also used to be known as the “Cardiac Kids,” so maybe that has something to do with it…some morbid double meaning, I guess. Old folks LOVE gettting up at the ass-crack of dawn to have breakfast with each other.

  12. Steve S
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    I don’t think the kid shooting in the foreground of Gasoline Alley can possibly be black, given what terrible aim he has. That ball is going to come a lot closer to Slim and Clovia’s window than it is to the hoop. Then again, maybe that’s his goal.

  13. Anonymous
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @T. Chicana

    My first thought on the MW panel was “well, her lips aren’t moving.” Reality soon intruded, but maybe that helps?

  14. Windier E. Megatons
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Oh, black people! Lord have mercy! You just give ‘em a basketball and they’ll shoot it at a hoop – it doesn’t matter what season it is! Good gracious! I do believe I have the vapors!

  15. Sue T.
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    So Shannon’s problem is that she was born with a cleft palate and they weren’t able to fix it until she was 4. Due to the long waiting list for surgery at a Canadian hospital, no doubt. Take THAT, Michael Moore!!

    I have a friend who was also born with a cleft palate. Good thing it was fixed here in the good ol’ USA when he was still an infant or he’d talk just like Shannon!

  16. willethompson
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    I know I’ve been remiss on the song parodies (yes, Squiddy, I saw that a few yesterthreads ago), but frankly, there’s been nothing to tickle my imagination…

    …until Josh’s little adventure with the Brooklyn impound! To the tune of ‘The MTA’ which our Boston readers will recognize as the inspiration of the ‘Charlie Card’ subway pass…

    VERSE:
    Let me tell you of the story of a comic curmudgeon
    on a tragic and fateful day,
    He drove to New York City just to do some stand-up
    and his Toyota got towed away…

    CHORUS:
    Did he ever return?
    Yes, he barely returned, now he’s back in Baltimore!
    Park in New York City? Well, you know he’d rather
    Chew some gum stuck on the subway floor!

    VERSE:
    Josh tried to tell some jokes in the Public Theatre
    But got gonged in the very first round…
    When he went outside to cry on the Corolla
    And he was told it was at Brooklyn impound.

    CHORUS:
    Did he ever return?
    Yes, he barely returned, even tho’ it took a while!
    Park in New York City? Well, you know he’d rather
    Get a blow-job from a crocodile!

    VERSE:
    Now he and Amber walk the streets of Brooklyn
    Both a cauldron of steaming hate,
    When they tried to free the poor Toyota
    The registration didn’t match the plate!

    CHORUS:
    Did they ever return?
    Yes, they barely returned, even tho’ they fin’ly got the car…
    Park in New York City? Well, you know they’d rather
    See Kevin Spacey in a leather bar!

    VERSE:
    Josh is finally back behind the wheel of Gretchen
    (it only took a little hundred dollar bribe)
    And he’s home and safe inside the City of Crab Cakes
    Where he’s happy just to be alive.

    CHORUS:
    Did he ever return?
    Yes, he barely returned, even tho’ it was a royal mess,
    Park in New York City? Well, you know he’d rather
    Run his penis through a printing press!

  17. Lunch Lady
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    I didn’t realize that Slim and Clovia lived in The Projects.

  18. Stuck Funky
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    - Do the obviously unemployed and well-off Riverdale kids just hang out at the Lodge compound every day with nothing better to do? Where are the 9am Margarita parties? Will Smithers look the other way when they open a meth lab on the estate? America demands answers!

    - At last ! An illustration of what america has thought about the Lockhorns for decades.

  19. Archie Andrews
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    I think that back in the ’80s there was an Archie Digest double issue where Archie hosed Jughead.

    then Reggie..

    then Jughead hosed Reggie

    back when gang-banging had a different meaning…..

  20. TybeeDawg
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Well, thanks to this site, I’m reading all the strips I used to pass over…I never considered their comic potential, but now they call to me like the meddling crone of Charterstone, forcing their way into my life and forcing me to confront them.

    So, here goes:

    GT: why is the announcer wearing a computer mouse on his ear? And I have absolutely no idea what kind of pressure the Milford pitcher is feeling based on panel 3. Maybe pressure from a Clambake backrub?

    DT: I’m sure someone has mentioned it before, but I LOVE the giant CIA sign on the building!

  21. Maughta
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Metapostery is an awesome word, Josh. You rock the grammar train.

  22. John A.
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    After close inspection, I’ve concluded Sally is not actually propping her feet on Ralph’s desk. She and Ralph are inhabiting different frames, and somehow the vertical line separating them has melted away.

  23. Katherine
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    What the hell is going in Mary Worth? I left the country a month ago, and there was a blond girl saying “Curses upon you Von!” and I return to find Mary hanging out with some sexist men at a garden party. I’m used to Mary taking 6 months to go across the hall to borrow a cup of sugar, I can’t take this breakneck pace!

  24. ygg
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    one thing about Gasoline Alley that drove me BATSHIT when I read it every day but that no one (that I have yet seen) seems to make a point of: Scancarelli has apparently totally foresworn the period. Exclamation points and question marks are it. Once I noticed this I kept looking, for at least a couple years…not a one.

    God I hate Gasoline Alley. The modern incarnation, anyway.

  25. kingklash
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    What I find fascinating is Dr Cory jr’s constant pitful looks to the camera. HE KNOWS WE’RE LOOKING AT HIM!

  26. Katherine
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Also — I’ve never been to a Canadian high school, so perhaps things are different there, but I do know that in an American high school, standing on a table and making a heart-felt speech (even withoug speech impediment and/or mental retardation) would be an invitation to more abuse, not less.
    I’m sure someone’s already made this point, though.

  27. dbp
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    #12 – Give the guy a break. He seems to be taking about an 80 foot shot, blissfully unaware of the fact that there’s a hoop within reasonable shooting range if he just turned around. And perhaps he’s aiming for the Muggsy-sized player with the black shirt, no doubt for botching the layup so bad that the ball goes POUND against the backboard.

  28. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Actually I’m never offended by being oversnarked, although I’ll occasionally draw attention to an earlier post, if I’m pretty sure I’m the first. The “Ralph stares up Sally Forth” was something I was going to snark, but I think it got crowded out by other sexual weirdness.

    Speaking of which, has anyone noticed that one of Dilbert’s no-doubt temporary co-workers is dating a corpse? Did I speak to softly? Get drowned out by a siren outside? Let me repeat. THIS WEEK’S DILBERT IS ALL ABOUT NECROPHILIA!!!

  29. Baldo Foob
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail is going to bust right into Mary Worth’s apartment with fist blazing and hollering, “I want my bee back!”

    Or maybe he’ll just vindictively start blabbering on incessantly and sticking his nose into everyone’s business… you know, “You steal my gimmick and I’ll steal yours.”

  30. Justafoob
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    If anyone had done the Nor….ma….Rae….. think in my high school lunch room, no one would have heard them.

    You think kids are going to stop, drop, and listen just because a noble plot device stands up on a table to

    make….

    a……

    speech…..?????

  31. Daijinryuu
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    And much like you misread Sally Forth, I misread the first panel of Mary Worth as saying “Isn’t my body great?” It was a truly terrifying moment.

  32. Maughta
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Heather’s hand gesture in panel two of RM says a lot to me. I’m not sure what it’s saying, but it’s saying a lot!

    I never realized that the king of Id was Dick Cheney. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

    Could Gasoline Alley be any more racist? Wait…don’t answer that…

    Wille, awesome song parody. I sing that song in my head every time I’m in Boston. G-d love the MTA!

  33. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    #18,
    Once you’ve seen Leroy Lockhorn’s manboobs hangin’ out there, it’s pretty hard to shake.

  34. marykat
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    28 – Ben: Let me tell you a little theory I have. I think Scott Adams is just trying to get our attention here. Dilbert has seemed stranger than usual the last couple months, I think in a bid for attention. In my head, I see Mr. Adams pulling out a ratty notebook from a secret drawer labeled “ideas for GT” in which he has almost illegible strip ideas that had previously been deemed “too weird even to submit as ideas for Gil Thorp.” You can see he is pulling out all the stops now. I am sort of afraid of what next week will bring, should he not get the snarking he is so desperately craving.

  35. jules
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Sleep apnea?…and tinnitus?…

    And just when I thought the comix had hit their lowest point of boredom with “Gil Thorp,” along comes “Gasoline Alley”!

  36. Bootsy
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    TDIET: SQUID!

    9CL: “coil and writhe like a great,profitable beast” ?!?!

    Holy shit McEldowney that sucks donkeys.

    MW: Drew is looking right at us. Next he’ll wink and whisper a comic aside.

  37. fimbulwinter
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Shocked, shocked I am that while calling attention to panel 4 in RMMD, josh has neglected to point out the similarity between Hugh and an Oompa-Loompa emphatically trying to suck cock.

  38. SecretMargo
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    #32 (Maughta):

    Could Gasoline Alley be any more racist? Wait…don’t answer that…

    Well it could be Dick Tracy.

    And if that isn’t x-treme enough for ya, there’s always Crock.

  39. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Clovia: Slim, did you hear? The
    Freetown Times
    is putting us on their comics page?
    Slim: That’s great!
    Clovia: I know! A whole new audience!
    Slim: So where will we be?
    Clovia: Oh, I hink somewhere on the left half, near the bottom. We’ll be printed between “Curtis” and “Watch Your Head.”
    Slim: Noooooooooooooo!

  40. Wirrrn
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH: I’m not so sure that’s a bee in the final panel. Bees tend to look like insects, rather than hideous fusion of a hummingbird, a wasp, and Ziggy. That one little arm it’s extending towards the window is particularly creepy, as if the poor thing is buzzing “Help me! Help me Mary, you killed Aldo, now please, put me out of my quasi-insectile, Kafkaesque misery!”

  41. MyEvilTwin
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    #32 – good point re: Dick Tracy, another similarity being that the artists for both strips seem to have a lot of difficulty drawing hands.

    Gotta love how “Slim’s” p.j.’s in Gasoline Alley don’t quite button over his stomach bulge.

  42. MossMoses
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    23. Katherine -quick recap post “Curses upon you, Von”. Von is Vera’s brother who was favored by their father and given the entire multi million dollar inheritance, with a glib little remark from the patriarch about, “Take care of your seester”. Von and Vera were very close as children and they played bizarre games together in weird clothing. However, after a silly dispute, Von booted Vera from Chez Shields in the driving rain with only the purple shirt on her back. Vera picked herself up by the bootstraps, got a job as a clerk typist at Affect Advertising and moved into Charterstone. Mary, through invasive meddling into her personal life, convinced Vera to reconcile with Von, which she did and now she is setting Doc Jeff’s playboy son, Drew, up with her at the Charterstone pool party. hth

  43. MyEvilTwin
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Whoops, I meant #38.

  44. Dan Coyle
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Uh… yeah.

    FW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Rex Morgan MD: THEY CALL HIM DOCTOR MORGAN!

  45. Biiirdmaaan!
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I’m amazed that Ellipis… Foob’s only problem is that she had a cleft palate that was fixed late in life.

    She’s in SpEd because of a speech impediment? Jeez, Canadian schools really are Draconian. Or maybe Johnston just really believes speech impediments count as a learning disability.

  46. AhClem
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Milborough, ON (AP)

    Most of the city of Milborough, Ontario was swept away when a 20-foot high wall of glurge came crashing through around noon today.

    Officials have been unable to pinpoint the source, but they believe it came from the general direction of the high school.

    One survivor, an unidentified girl around 16 years of age, was found wandering around in a daze and muttering “Make … fun … of …me … wi …ll … they?”

    More coverage of this tragedy will follow our six-hour special report on the release of Paris Hilton.

  47. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Ah, Josh, it’s good to have your snarkage again. As I don’t get most of the Sunday comics, these were mostly new to me. And I, like others, read the first panel of MW as “Isn’t my BODY great?” which definitely fits in with the theme of the strip.

    Yesterthread 90 True Fable: I haven’t been clicking on the goat links, but I did this one and those are two of the cutest goats I ever saw. Awwwwwwww…. Almost as cute as Google’s sister Sammy. Also, excellent rant.

    Yesterthread 127 Allie Cat: COTW!

    Today Dean Booth MTA parody: Great! Especially the last line!

    And now for a mini-rant of my own re: FOOB. I’ve never managed to work up the requisite hate for Lynn Johnston to be a true Mudge, not even when Michael’s book sale violated everything I have learned from nearly 35 years in the writing business, but I think this Shan…non storyline has now pushed me over the edge. This is the most condescending, insulting, out of touch thing I have ever seen in the major media, including some really bad tv shows and movies. When I was writing middle-school fiction, I often made my protagonists handicapped in some way (blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, for example, though not all at once), but the handicap was always incidental, and not the main fact about them. I’m quite sure I never made any of them sanctimonious. And I featured them in the first place just to give handicapped kids a hero to identify with, not to turn them into Norma Rae. /END RANT

  48. e
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone seen today’s Lio? Way to take on those Lockhorns.

  49. Winnie Winkle
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    I thought I was the only one who noticed the influx of Blacks into lily white Gasoline Alley. (up till now, the only black person in the strip was 190 Walt’s nurse, Gertie.) Watch for the “For Sale” signs going up. BTW, does anyone know where exactly Gasoline Alley is set in? Some of the characters speak in ridiculous “hillbilly accents”. But then, this strip’s premise hasn’t been updated since the Truman administration. The characters get old as well as the plots.

  50. Uncle Lumpy
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — All this talk about titles and property suggests Rex and June have a Morganatic marriage.

    And here we thought all the action was in the Morgan garage.

  51. StrangeRover
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: OK – raise your hand if you thought Shan..non was supposed to be retarded. fbofw was much more fun for me when the one supposedly mentally challenged character was more insightful than all the others combined.

    If difficulty speaking lands you in SpEd in foobland, then April an’ Michael an’ Liz an’ many others should have all been SpEd.

    [god SpEd you black emperor!]

  52. Abbey the Wonderdog
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    And here we thought all the action was in the Morgan garage.

    Well, some of the action takes place out on the golf course.

    “Oh my, my ball is in the woods”

    “Let me go get it for you”

    “Are you sure you want to take your putter out NOW?”

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

  53. MossMoses
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Does Doc Jeff know about Shan…non’s cleft palette?

  54. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Criminey, people! Slow down!

    It’s already a yesterthread, but most excellent, Hogen Mogen. And Old Bean, a classic that will stand the test of time. Congrats to everyone!

    And while we’re on yesterthread,

    #48 True Fable — As the Bees Grind had me ROFL.

    #70 Trilobite — Re DT, I think they’re squinting because of the klieg lights on the sign outside.

    This thread:

    #16 willethompson –

    A song parody based on, I can only assume, a PSA? And yet you questioned my serenading O’F’s cat?

    Today:

    9CL

    I’ve stayed away from commenting on this dreck, but is NYC solely populated by “high-ranking corporate predators?” No low-ranking ones? No, I don’t know, pipefitters or news vendors? Josh? I guess high-ranking corporate predators just can’t get enough of those ’94 Corollas. You’re lucky (as are we) you escaped with your life.

    NYer Cartoon

    I’m submitting this, half of which belongs to The Divine O’F: You know that thing about the seven people you meet in heaven? So far it’s not working out.

    This one, or any variation on it, is up for grabs: It’s purgatory, okay? Get over it.

  55. Trotzenbonnie
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t a cleft palate interfere with the formation of certain consonant sounds? I just don’t get how Lynn Johnston thinks her inaccurate interpretation of Shannon’s disability will generate any empathy or tolerance for those similarly indisposed.
    She used to know how to generate a sensitive and thoughtful storyline about difficult subjects. What the hell happened?

  56. Calico
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    GA – Tinnitus? WHAT?! Come again?

    Actually, it looks like that is what’s happening in Archie.

    Yes, Lio rocks today. Monsieur Lockhorn gets his Comeuppance (ah, that pesky phrase again) finally!

    The Sunday RM is indeed magnificent for its coloring, drama, and drunkeness.
    Maybe if you’re nicer, Hugh, both the ladies will tuck you in…then smother you.

    MW – Ah, the bee sting / pollination slant. Who wants to bet Drew will knock up Vera?

    Josh – I’ve been poring over my extremely weird set of Archie comics from the early 70′s – one I read the other night has a story between Jug and Arch that is 100% 70′s homoeroticism. Other stories and captions are just as fun, peppered with phrases such as “Groovy”, “Far Out”, “Right On”, etc. etc. And, on the flip side of Comix Morality, there’s one about Jesus and the spirit of Xmas – speech-driven by Old Man Lodge, no less!

    BTW, I’d love to send you and Mrs. C. some of these fun filled, action-packed issues from yesteryear. (Some of them may have mustaches drawn on the various male characters-the result of a nine-year old gal high on Lemon-Lime New Jersey Soda Pop, Heath bars, and Jolly Ranchers.)

    I’ll e-mail you for a mailing addy.
    Damn, I’m old!

  57. TargemQ8
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Fraudulent Clambake is the greatest comic twist EVER.
    Unless it turns out that he’s an angel or something.

  58. Mibbitmaker
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Drew Corey studied under David Addison.

    “Does a fly fly? Does a flea flea? Does a Curmudgeon bludgeon? Is Mary Worth it? Okay, she’s not, but the other ones? YES! Sure as I’m made of ink and paper! Sure as Moy surfs the blog! Sure as I’ll eventually shave my head cue-ball style and make too many action pictures! (Too much, huh? They can’t all be Comment of the Week, eh?)” (winks at reader)

    He really wants to open up a detective agency with Margo Magee!

  59. stinky pete
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    16 wille: Well done! When I was very young (7 or 8)my dad would always play his Kingston Trio and Mitch Miller albums. “The MTA” was played often in our house, at least until the kids discovered AM radio (89, W-L-S…..Chicago!!!)

  60. Uncle Lumpy
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    60 stinky p. –

    I got WLS and WCFL (“The voice of the Chicago Federation of Labor”) on my Heathkit crystal set — did you listen to Chicken Man?

  61. ElSanto
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    #57 – Amen to that.

    Now in retrospect, I can read old Gil Thorps like he’s Abraham Simpson retelling totally ludicrous stories in his senility.

    The plot twist I fear? The kid got his info on a recently vandalized Wikipedia article, and Clambake is the real deal. Phooey. But given the recent amount of insanity in GT lately (Tyler head-bashing, and the bald girl’s softball team), I hold out hope for the crazy senile and not-really-a-Black-man Clambake story to come to fruition.

  62. Andrea D and the Grandstanding Oddballs
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Having a stroke is something that will cause you to have to relearn how to speak. Having a cleft palate fixed is not. I have a friend who is STILL undergoing specialized surgeries to fix a severe cleft palate, and she’s 25. She’s been speaking her entire life, with only the slightest speech impediment, some trouble enunciating certain sounds. But… she… doesn’t… talk like.. THIS.

    Oh, and she’s a physician at John’s Hopkins.

    I don’t mean this to sound cruel, but a speech impediment due to a cleft palate does not a special needs student make.

    I might be mistaken, but I don’t think that slow speech is the result of multiple surgeries to the mouth.

  63. Howard Erk
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    o….k…..

    #…..5…..4

    g…….h……

    we……

    will……

    slow…….

    down………

    for…….give…….. us………be…….cause…….we ……… are…….just……. noble ………. ‘tards

  64. Squeak
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Why are we assuming that Clambake is lying??? Everybody knows you can’t trust anything you read “online.”

  65. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    A curminion in need!

    Every time I try to submit the caption [#54 above], my internet connection shuts down. I can’t tell if it’s squeaking through, but I doubt it. If there’s anyone without a caption, can you help out by submitting mine? The link is here:

    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/caption

    Click on “Go to contest #104” to enter.

    Thanks!

  66. Jim Thorp(e)
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Clambake is the noble African American plot device as seen in movies like “The Legend of Bagger Vance” or “Remember the Titans”

  67. Francis
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    I like that June politely raises her pinky when pointing back at Hugh.

  68. Gabe
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Probably been said before, but Edda’s obviously Brooke’s pooly disguised avatar for his irritation when people ask him what he does for money when he tells them he’s a cartoonist.

    Oh, who am I kidding? He probably introduces himself as an artist, not just some run of the mill funny paper guy.

    Never have I seen such disdain for normal humans as I do from Brooke.

  69. AirForbes
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    OK, I can buy that Clambake has been making this up all this time to impress a bunch of high school kids. Clearly he waited until his son left town so that there would be nobody to blow his cover. I can also buy that he didn’t bother to actually do any research, so his Negro League anecdotes are filled with inaccuracies. But why on earth would he choose the improbable and downright silly nickname “Clambake” for himself? Wouldn’t he pick something cooler, or at least more believeable?

    I’m expecting this will end with a grand lecture by Gil, explaining that what was important was the inspiration and tips that Clambake provided, and not the fake persona he came up with to bolster his credibility. After all, it’s kept Gil from actually having to coach this season, and that’s what’s important.

    It would be cool though, if Clambake’s son showed up to retrieve his Dad and reveal to the kids that his Dad has thought he was a Negro League player ever since he got hit in the head with that foul ball at a Tigers game a couple of years ago.

  70. All Margo-ed Up
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    wait wait wait.. I think I’ve got it — Sha… non isn’t a SpEd kid, or wouldn’t be, if only she didn’t live in Canada. Actually she is speaking with an American accent which is confusing the Canadian dumbass teenagers in the strip, and the voices in Lynn ‘Hack’ Johnston’s head play that undescribable accent as … ellip… ses…. speech..

    That or hell, Johnston just plain sucks, but I prefer the convoluted idea for some reason…

  71. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    #60 Uncle Lumpy –

    Heathkit crystal set! I had one of those and we strung a wire from one end of the roof to another for an antenna [this was before we had pre-tuned Brynnas and satellite-filtered bounce] and my ham radio-operating uncle (not you) swore I’d be picking up chatter from Penang, Malaysia, but I got exactly squat. Of course, Sacramento is a wee distance from Chicago. Maybe I wound the wire in the wrong direction . . .

  72. --MC
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    The kids laugh at Shan … non when she stands up to speak, until the emergency doors shut and lock and the lights go all red and she gets that crazy look in her eyes and the silverware in the grey trays start to tremble and fly around the room ..
    Wouldn’t you love it if that’s where Lynn was going with this?

  73. monsieurjohn
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    I would suggest a new lookalike contest based on the 6/24 RMMD — panel 2 for the ladies, panel 4 for the gents — but I think there would be too many broken wrists required for the former and too little orange paint in the world for the latter, so maybe we’d better not.

  74. Jamus The Bartender
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy’s Crimestopper’s Textbook
    Today’s Lesson: How To Get Panty Shots Of Female Office Employees And Put Them On The Internets Without Them Knowing It During Those Dreary Summer Days
    Okay…so…the ol’ detective has some time to kill here at Christ In America….and i’ve got a secretary here or something whose hair looks like Mary Tyler Moore’s…she’s got her shoes off and her feet up…my God she’s got wonderful legs….so…how to turn this to your advantage?
    1. Pretend to be doing some work….just like i’m doing here….typing away, filing reports…do NOT draw attention to yourself…you dont see a thing…
    2. Take the camera funciton of your wrist computer slash television and line up the target…
    3. Attach the USB port cable to your webcam….an afternoon’s entertainment all for the taking.
    Okay…some of you are asking…”Dick…how is this preventing crime? Seems to me you’re showing us this so we’ll know how to do it.” Well…if you don’t know how crimes are done…how in hell are you gonna prevent them? So…shut up punk.
    Next time…a trip to the local bordello to make sure they don’t short us on the weekly take.
    Till then..
    Dick Tracy

  75. willethompson
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    #59 StinkyPete: Evidently, we had the same fathers. Kingston Trio “At Large” album. It was the first song I taught myself on banjo. However, I see that even gh hasn’t even heard of it. I’m reminded of The Simpsons when Mr. Burns buys that GirlTech diary and has Smithers jot down his enemies list: “Number One: The Kingston Trio.”

  76. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Silly Drew, Charterstone Pool Parties are for Pluggers!

  77. Rusty
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth’s ankles uncross for no man.

    Actually, i think she and Ralph have separate cubicles, the artist failed to distinguish the last two panels with a divider.

  78. Andrea D and the Grandstanding Oddballs
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Oops. I now realize that I was beaten to the cleft palate punch by other commentors. That’s what I get for beign in a hurry.

  79. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    54 gh: Good on you for submitting the first one. If no one else claims the second and I can’t come up with something else I might submit it. Except I see you’re having internet problems. Hmmm… hope someone takes it. This is serious business, taking over the New Yorker contest.

  80. Jim Thorp(e)
    June 26th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    c’mon people, when did Gil Thorp ever make sense.

    They will drop an arc and move on just as soon as it is time to pick up the pigskin.

  81. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, LIO made me laugh today. The notes to a blog, where LIO GETS ARRESTED (on the comics pages), shows take offs on Garfield and Calvin and Hobbes….

  82. T. Chicana
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Yeah! I thought Shannon was retarded. This is a bunch of crap. Speech impediment=special ed? I don’t even know anybody w/ a cleft palate and I’m offended. Isn’t Lynn just getting a whole bunch of hate mail an’ angry comments today? Sheesh!

  83. Bitter Scribe
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    As a person of 100% Greek descent, I can tell you authoritatively that when we get really good tans, we’re usually mistaken for Mexicans.

    As for Ralph skeeving on Sally, BLEECH! Thank God I waited until after lunch to read that.

  84. Rocky Jones
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    #9 puma — thank you. I remember the mallard (goose?) disemboweling, but it does seem a little strange to do something like that without first hypothesizing that a crime has taken place. Shouldn’t there have been a day where Mark pondered “that’s odd, it’s not migration season… and this airport is out of the ducks’ (geese’s?) way anyway! Something’s fishy here…”

    Cleolanta is fine, thank you — and ever-so-fetching in her Cecil B. DeMille-inspired outfits.

  85. Harry Worth
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is NOT a Plugger.

    The last time she was plugged was during the Eisenhower administration, and that was only because she was married and HAD to do her wifely duties.

    After that, she had her hoo-hah sewn up and has satisfied herself with platitudes.

  86. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    And re The Kingston Trio At Large and other ancient artifacts from the fifties and sixties: I had the original of course, and played it over and over, as well as several other of the K Trio albums. And The Weavers. And the New Christy Minstrels. I recently got a bunch of them really cheap online and converted them to MP3′s for my fake Ipod. How’s that for combining the old and the new?

  87. Calico
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    #66 – either Clam is a sham, or he was soooo great that he’s hiding his real baseball-oriented, and possibly personal, identity.

    Just a wildcard guess – but I like the old guy nonetheless!

  88. Calico
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    #85 – HAHAHAHA!

    Just great.

  89. commodorejohn
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    #83 Bitter Scribe – I believe you, but anything having to do with Thorpian ethnicity is a crapshoot, so Josh is still possibly right.

  90. Robert Whiyaker Sirignano
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    In my universe, and not in the FOOBIVERSE, when a special ed student stood up for their rights, and not on a table, the result was a missing tooth or dislocated nose after school let out. Hell, I wasn’t in special ed, but when I stood up to bullies I got thrown down a flight of steps or had my head stuck under a sink, with lots of soap and water flowing.

    Lynn might be meaning well, but it isn’t real.

  91. stinky pete
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    60 UL – He’s everywhere! He’s everywhere! O-h-h-h-h Y-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-a-h-h-h-h!!

  92. PeteMoss
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    The term “Noble ‘tard” is a tad offensive. However, it would make a killer band name –
    Shan…non and the Noble ‘tards.

    I like it better than Shan…non and the Cleft Palate.

  93. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Wille, 86 my rude rude, comment #76 Man oh Manoswewiz!..When I was a larval Pink Springbok,.I so wanted to take
    banjo lessons after hearing The Mighty KT’s “Charlie at the MTA” I could plotz.

  94. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    #75 willethompson –

    I was about to say I was too busy listening to the New Christy Minstrels (Advance To The Rear) but The Divine O’F . . . well, it’s true!

    And while we’re at it

    #79 The Divine O’F —

    After sleeping on it, the first seemed the way to go. That site really boxcars my internet connection though. It shuts down every time, whether I’m submitting, reading previous captions, voting, whatever. And don’t get me started on Josh’s Cartoon Violence. I can’t even get in anymore before it shuts me down completely.

  95. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    And a cleft palate usually results in a nasal intonation and a slight slurring of “th” and sibulant words. Not the slow turtles pace of I…can’t talk…faster…

    Shannon reads like a palsy patient. Smart but cannot talk as fast as she thinks.

    Lynn is definitely not real.

  96. Allie Cat
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley – Slim’s clenched fist and Clovia’s “don’t hit me” posture in panel 2 above tells me that Slim wails on Clovia for sport, regularly.

    FOOB is just irritating me – somebody cue “We Are The Champions” and ring the dismissal bell – school needs to be out for summer, pronto.

    FW – No offense, but the summer before college, I had a lot more to do than yard work. I was working 48 hours a week as a cashier, staying out with friends and boyfriend until 6 minutes past curfew, and attempting to pack for college. Hope all that yard work doesn’t wear you out, sporto. Oh, wait – maybe you should save your strength in case your birth mother needs you this summer.

  97. HBGlord
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    #49 — Not true, alas. I say alas, because in the early Frank King days, baby Skeezix had a “colored” nanny named Rachel, who was a drawn in the requisite liver-lipped plump mammy style. (One running in-joke, when Gertie was introduced by Scancarelli a few years ago, had the senile-dementia-addled Walt Wallet initially and occasionally calling Gertie “Rachel.”)

    And actually, there was another black character introduced during the Scancarelli era of GA — earlier in this decade, Rover had a black roommate named Tyrone. In fact, if you look at the strip above, i think that’s him playing point guard for the Gasoline Alley Globetrotters.

  98. Les
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Ralph is using a bluetooth keyboard. Sally Forth is often on the cutting edge of wireless technology.

    In the first panel of tomorrow’s FOOB, a frozen plastic waterbottle hits Shannon in the head and she falls from the table.

  99. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Think you got it bad Dept: I ws once trapped in a pagoda with Tricia Toyota!

  100. Calico
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    #98 – I actually possess an old GA gameboard from my cousins’ attic in MD. Dates back to the thirties, if I am correct. Again, totally weird stuff in terms of the general modern mindset.
    When I can get some good pics of said board, I’ll send them on request or ask someone here with a website to put up the image(s).

  101. Dean Booth
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    FC: Grandma teaches Dolly the harsh, harsh truth.

    Congrats to all the CC “floaters,” and again to Anne for TDIET triumph!

  102. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Finally finished reading the comics:

    DT, DTGT: I can’t help lumping these together because they are the two most incomprehensible and poorly-drawn strips out there (though I still believe DT is poorly drawn on purpose, and with Japanese shoutouts). I think the primary difference between them is that the bat-shit insanity of DTGT is BORING, more of a bat-fart insanity, while DT’s is truly fascinating, in that can’t-stop-looking at a traffic accident way.

    9 CL: I have come to hate Edda with all the loathing I once reserved for brussels sprouts.

    MT: Although the liquid they are imbibing comes from a coffee pot, it cannot contain coffee, which makes your brain work better. I’m guessing essence of cannibis or maybe even formaldehyde.

  103. Calico
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I meant #97 – sorry

  104. PeteMoss
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    99 Red, I once was handed a lip balm made of cinnamon badger tails but before I could apply it the the election was over and all of the Chargers went home.

  105. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    And there wasn’t a jitney in sight. I daresay! HUMPH!

  106. Darkefang
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Tuesday’s comics:

    A3G: I don’t know why Lu Ann’s carbon monoxide poisoning is his fault, but I’m beginning to understand why he’s called “Blaze.” He’s running circles around that doctor. He’s in front of him. He’s beside him. He’s behind him. If he moved any quicker, his name would be upgraded to “Flash.”

    Foob: Ignoring the heavy-handed preachiness of today’s strip, I’d like to point out a cameo by Animal of Electric Mayhem in panel three.

    GT: Panel three is a masterpiece of Thorpian confusing perspectives. It proclaims to depict Milford pitcher Mike Bouchard feeling the pressure. I can’t help but notice that the catcher is facing down the third base line, however.

    The action lines coming from the glove make it appear that he’s just caught a throw from left field and has caught the baserunner in a rundown between third and home.

    How exactly does this indicate pressure on Bouchard? And why does the catcher have a baseball bat protruding from his crotch? And why does the umpire look so bored with the whole situation, making the smallest possible gesture to indicate his call at the plate?

    I guess if I had to deal with Ken’s whining behind home plate every at bat, I’d be wailing on his crotch with my bat too.

    Luann: This “dinner and a date with Toni” storyline is making the “baking cookies for my friend’s brother” storyline interesting by comparison.

    MF: Are there actually any characters in Mallard Fillmore, or does every strip just feature the artist’s opinion being mouthed by a duck? Why isn’t this classified as an editorial cartoon? And is this a re-run? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a Mallard Fillmore recently that said pretty much the same as today’s strip.

    MT: Not only are the police letting Mark Trail do their job for them, they’re begging him to let them know if he does manage to solve a crime on his own. “Please Mark, leave the punching to professionals.”

    Of course, I’m just assuming these guys are police. They don’t seem to have anything on their uniforms to identify them as law enforcement, so for all I know, they are actually just employees at the local full-service gas station that Mark is chatting with while they fill his windshield wiper fluid.

    MW: One look at Professor Chinbeard and I’d have known that I made a mistake in attending that party. Of course we all know that at any moment Vera is going to make her Scarlett-O’Hara-like entrance and sweep Dr. Jeff Jr. off his feet.

    Phantom: Third panel:

    “I’m gonna get me a boat oar and kill all the whiteys I see
    I’m gonna get me a boat oar and kill all the whiteys i see
    If I kill all the whiteys I see,
    Then whitey he won’t bother me!
    I’m gonna get me a boat oar and kill all the whiteys I seeeee!!”

  107. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    gh: Josh has cartoon violence and I didn’t know about it? If no one takes up your preferred entry, I’ll do it. Let me know.

  108. Paperback Rifler
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    16. Your Kingston parody is pure art, wille! I bet that if Josh had known that a folk song was going to be born out of his adventure with the New York Parking Fascists, he would have fed us a few details about run-ins with hookers, CHUDs, and Warriors-type street gangs. Maybe West Side Story-type street gangs, too.

    So I’m still catching up on all the comments, but is there pretty much a consensus on how Shannon’s impassioned plea for tolerance and understanding will play out in (THTI)Foob? As best as I can tell, the possibilities are as follows:

    1 — Generalized compassion and newfound respect for Shannon &co.; +/- slow clapping; +/- a spontaneous chorus of “We Shall Overcome”
    2 — Continued mocking of Shannon &co.
    3 — Food fight
    4 — Continued mocking and food fight
    5 — Shannon gets swept off her feet and carried out of the cafeteria by a love-smitten Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo!” Guy to general applause; +/- “Up Where We Belong” playing in the background
    6 — Shannon gets hauled off to the principal’s office, which is probably what would happen in a real school; later is forced to apologize to the cafeteria workers for stealing their apple cobbler’s thunder
    7 — Shannon successfully orchestrates a shutdown of the mill and forces management to capitulate to the demands of the union

    I think we’re all expecting #1, but I’m personally hoping for #5.

  109. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Petemoss, A talking spud sayeth: ‘Yippy kai ai Motherfucker”

  110. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    #107 The Divine O’F

    That’s either Josh’s Wonkette feature or his reaction to his NYC trip. Probably both. And take my (our) caption, please! So far no one else has.

  111. Darkefang
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Oh, I forgot to mention this: If anyone had stood on a table in the cafeteria when I went to school, they’d have been smacked with a half dozen of the day’s entree before they’d opened their mouth, no matter who they were.

  112. Squawk
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft’s nose looks like if you give it a quarter turn, steam will shoot out of his ears.

  113. Justafoob
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Well #111 Darkefang, you did not go to school where LJ writes the arcs.

    Shan….non is the noble plot device and is going to change the hearts and minds of a generation by her wit and wisdom.

    Either that or get waylaid by a flying burrito.

  114. HBGlord
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Foob: You wannna know what’s discriminatory? Has anyone else noticed that Shan…non, who is probably the same age as April, has not received the same “turn 16, get your hottie makeover” from Lynn’s little drawing gnomes that Ape and her 4-Evah mates did?

  115. Katherine
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    thanks, mossmoses! now that MW has stopped being so…glacial, I will never travel again!

  116. Proteus
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Dean Booth = awesome.

    You made me frantically hunt for today’s FC: I kept thinking “What could the original caption be to that?

    A thread without a Dean Booth photoshop is like a Judge Parker episode without the ‘pups.

  117. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Again with the limewires! I’m so Audi Fives on this Intertubes stuff! HareGanesh…Roho Grenblats,

  118. Bootsy
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    gh, I submitted your caption for you! And I put “gh” in all the required fields so there should be no problem when you win with them notifying you and all.

  119. Dean Booth
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    #47 O’F: I think you have me confused with wille, who did the great MTA parody.

    Dilbert: My dad died last month (no need to express sympathies), and he had donated his body to a medical college. When I read Dilbert yesterday, I had to think, is she in love with my dad!?! He’d like that, I think.

    Repost of links to pics based on comics Josh cites above (both are borderline SFW):
    MW’s Honey
    Sally Forth’s Honey

  120. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    110 gh: Okay, I submitted it under my real name. And now I can quit worrying about it and trying to think of something on my own.

    Bootsy–just kidding, I hope? Otherwise they will suspect a conspiracy and Clambake knows what might happen.

  121. The Divine O’F
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Dean Booth, sorry to mix you up with Wille. It’s just that you are both so brilliant your brillance overwhelms my anemic synapses.

  122. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    SecretMadge: “Christ, what an ASSHOLE! works on so many levels! Your Brother in mayonaisse and Kaopectate, RedGB.

  123. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    f(lagged as spam)

  124. Poppinjay
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    The really important thing is that Paris is out of jail.

  125. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    #118 Bootsy

    Well, thanks and all, but Googling gh turns up the nation of Ghana before me (I know, hard to believe; also General Hospital), so it’s possible the original artwork may go to the wrong address. Cross your fingers!

  126. gh
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    #120 The Divine O’F

    Yaay! And Bootsy’s kidding . . . I’m pretty sure.

  127. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Dear g. The “H” is silent?

  128. Dean Booth
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    #116. Thanks Proteus.

    An aside on MT: A couple of weeks ago I was doing a mashup on MT and needed a thought bubble to cut and paste. I looked through pages and pages of MT archives, and finally came to the conclusion that the MT characters never think. That’s why it took so long for Mark to figure out the eyehook — he had to wait until he spoke his conclusion.

  129. UncleJeff
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    MW: Is it just me or does Dr. Jeff have the same
    expression of desperate optimism and feelings of
    doom that “ol’ Gil” has in “The Simpsons.”.

  130. AAckTTpth
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    “Stop picking on us”. Yeah, that’s a strategy that’s soooo successful in high school. School is like jail – stand up to an aggressor on day 1 or you will spend the rest of the time as someone’s bitch (not that I have any first-hand experience in the jail side of that). Shannon needs to fight Jeremy by the bike racks at 3:30 (no teachers); it doesn’t matter if she wins or loses, she will gain repect by fighting.

    BTW, the school yard fighting is something I have considerable experience in. Much of my grade school career was spend pinned under one of the two class bullies while they whaled on me. It wasn’t until grade 5 when I picked and barely won a fight that I gained some respect for a couple of weeks.

    Lynn is so completely out of touch with teenagers that the writing rings painfully hollow. Instead, the strip has become a platform for sanctimonious speechifying, which makes for pretty painful reading. None of the characters have any of the baser virtues to which we can relate (except maybe Grandpa Chinnuts lusting after the hot babes in the park). Lynn, give us a couple of flaws we see in ourselves, and then maybe we can start sympathizing with your characters instead of wanting to take them down a peg or two. Julia (yay Julia) is a far more sympathetic charater than Liz – yet we still root for Liz to get together with Anthony because they deserve each other. Granthony wouldn’t know what to do with a firecracker like Julia.

    /rant

    Divine O’F – glad to see I’m not the only one on the anti-brussel-sprout bandwagon. Now if I could only get someone to join me on the anti-pineapple bandwagon. It’s lonely over here.

  131. Laura c
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    I posted this to the previous thread but I’ll repost…
    Cleft palates are not associated with mental retardation. They are usually fixed very young. (My son’s surgery was at 9 months.) Even if it were fixed later, Shannon should only need speech therapy, not Special Ed classes. She would be in regular classes and get speech therapy a couple days a week in school. Also I can’t imagine it would make her talk slowly. My son learned to talk late because of his surgery but his speed was always fine.

  132. zeeba
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    6/26
    FW: Irony, thy name is Batiuk. How clever of him to have Darin unwittingly mowing the lawn of his birth mother, who unwittingly has hired her son to mow the lawn. O. Henry himself couldn’t have set it up better.

    JP: Don’t Sam and Trudi look cute in their matching Ray-Bans?
    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070626&name=Judge_Parker
    If Trudi’s got the hots for Mr. Driver, she needn’t waste her time. Abbey’s tried for years, and he’s even immune to the famous sweaterpuppies.

  133. etho
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    I don’t have a whole lot to add, just that the way Clambake is framed in panel 2 is deeply disquieting. It really looks like Ken is flinging accusations at a severed head on a stake.

    Panel 3 presents it’s own problems, what with the obvious fact that Ken’s head is 65% larger than that of Clambake.

    Man. Gil Thorp is like a daily three panel guide to mostrous deformity.

  134. Paperback Rifler
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    I get the feeling that the Joshposts are going to be coming thick and fast for the next couple of days, so I’m going to take this opportunity to offload some song parodies that absolutely nobody asked for. The following is based on “Blitzkrieg Bop;” so I hope that both of you Ramones fans out there are ready to rock! (Apologies to The Ramones and to everybody everywhere. Oh, and in my mind, the chant at the end is by Shannon &co. and not by her snickering classmates.)

    (Onetwothreefour!)

    She’s talking slow at lunchtime
    Just tryin’ to eat her key lime
    The teasing should be a crime
    Shannon Lake

    She got up on the table
    She’s tired of yer labels
    She ain’t no Betty Grable
    Shannon Lake

    Ho, hey, let’s play
    Bang a dinner tray, now
    What she wants, she will say
    Even if it takes her all day

    She’s preaching to the foob horde
    Says “We’re not such an odd sort”
    In real life she’d be ignored
    Shannon Lake

    She won’t take no more damn crap
    She’s tired of the bum rap
    Perhaps she’ll get a slow clap
    Shannon Lake

    Hey! Hoooo! F.U.!
    Hey! Hoooo! F.U.!
    Hey! Hoooo! F.U.!
    Hey! Hoooo! F.U.!

    And that could segue naturally into the following, also by The Ramones:

    (Onetwothreefour!)
    Gabba-gabba-we-accept-you-we-accept-you-one-of-us!
    Gabba-gabba-we-accept-you-we-accept-you-one-of-us!

    We don’t wanna be put down by morons!
    That is why we’ve got our own tel-e-thon!
    We don’t wanna be put down by morons!
    That is why we’ve got our own tel-e-thon!

    F-O-O-B! Foobs are all abusin’ me!
    F-O-O-B! Foobs are all abusin’ me!

    We don’t wanna be put down by morons!
    That is why we’ve got our own tel-e-thon!
    We don’t wanna be put down by morons!
    That is why we’ve got our own tel-e-thon!

    Gabba-gabba-HEY! Gabba-gabba-HEY! [repeat and fade]

  135. GotFuzzy
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Dear god, the noble plot device story arc in FOOB is making me so crazy that it’s come to this–I am hoping that we get back to the Liz/Granthony Lovepocalypse soon. I think I have to go lie down.

    (DT)GT: Ken sure will be embarrassed when he finds out that Clambake is legit, but sometimes gets his facts scrambled because he never did learn his reading and writing since there was a Depression on and Jim Crow was the law of the day and so forth. He just keeps it all in his head, but now that he has a touch of the Alzheimers it comes out wrong, you know. Oh wait–this is (DT)GT, not Funky Cancerbean. It’ll all get resolved by Brynna shaving her head again.

  136. Cranky
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    So congrats to Anne. I have to know from her, or any CC reader who has submitted to Scaduto… do you do it in Scaduto-speak? I mean, did you submit:

    It can be quite amusing when men who save energy by keeping their thermostat low contradict themselves by driving relatively fuel-ineffficient cars?

    Or do you throw in the Ragweeds and Like it is
    Dep’t
    s and Oh Yeah-h-hs? Do you? Do you?

  137. Tim McDonough
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    TDIET: Is that a gang sign Ragweed’s sporting in the first panel?

  138. T. Chicana
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    #114 HB: YES! I want to see Shann.n.n…on tarted up right for her sweet 16– with HUGE collagen trout lips and a Marilyn Monroe mole painted on. She also needs a swoopy bun and a new wardrobe of midriff shirts, stat!

  139. AhClem
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – This storyline reminds me of a bad remake of “Three in the Attic.” Which, of course, would be awesome if it actually turned out that way.

  140. rich
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Note to our subscribers:

    The Dick Tracy art team will be taking a 1/3 vacation day on June 26; thus, panel three of that day’s strip will be reusing the same “CIA Headquarters” panel that had previously appeared on June 19 and June 21.

    And no, they will not be changing the cars in the foreground this time around… what part of “vacation” don’t you people understand??

  141. Sobek
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Just in case none of the previous commenters have pointed this out:

    The claw-alien that perches on peoples’ shoulders is so enraged by Clambake’s deception that it leaps dramatically at his face in a regrettably failed bid to tear it off. On the bright side, the fact that Clambake is hunched over in the second panel suggests the claw-alien landed on a far more sensitive target.

  142. Mountain Mama
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Ramones fan here!! Woo hoo!!

    And regarding FOOB, the only thing Johnston knows about high school is from repeated viewing of “The Breakfast Club.” One impassioned speech and all the other students will be in love with Shannon. Emilio Estevez might even ask her out.

  143. Paperback Rifler
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so the following is more of a song parody system purge. Also The Ramones, specifically “Cretin Hop.” Apologies all around again.

    (Onetwothreefour!)
    There’s no stopping the cretins from mocking
    You wanna give a beatin’ to the mocking cretins
    Cretin! Cretin!

    I’m gonna shout out a cry like that starey guy
    There’s no stopping the cretins from mocking
    Cretin! Cretin!

    One, two, three, four; cretins wanna mock some more!
    Four, five, six, seven; ‘tween their toes they’ve got some webbin’!

    Or something like that.

    All right, just one more and I’ll all done. Again The Ramones, specifically “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker.” Apologies and so forth.

    (Onetwothreefour!)
    Well now, the kids are all hepped up and ready to go
    (They’re ready to go now)
    They’ve got their lunches and they’re mocking kids with special needs a-go-go
    Things got so out of hand,
    She had to make a stand;
    So on the table she will make a show
    Oh yeah, oh yeah . . .

    Shannon is a slow talker, Shannon is a slow talker,
    Shannon is a slow talker now.
    Shannon is a slow talker, Shannon is a slow talker,
    Shannon is a slow talker now.
    Well she’s a —
    Slow, slow! Slow talker!
    Slow, slow! Slow talker!
    Slow, slow! Slow talker!
    Slow, slow! Slow talker!

    And that’s that. Whew, I’m really glad I got all that out of my system.

  144. The Great Ka-Floopa Gush
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW: All the comments here got me wondering what Shannon’s major malfunction is. Some Googling eventually turned up this link.
    http://www.fborfw.com/features/shannon/index.php?page=radio

    Shannon is modeled after Lynn’s developmentally disabled niece Stephanie (who, by the way, loved high school). If you follow the link, there is a link to an mp3 of Lynn and Stephanie. Listen to it and you will find out what Shannon is supposed to sound like.

  145. cinephile
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Sorry if anyone mentioned this over the weekend thread, but– I assume, since Batuik is from cleveland, that the “‘cardiac kids” line (I can’t bring myself to call it a ‘joke’) is a reference to an old cleveland browns nickname from the late 70s/early 80s (knowing these things is the price you pay when your father is a fan of the team). No, it’s not funny, but then, it’s also Crankshaft.

    And oh, how I wish the curmudgeons were writing FOOB! Your jokes/suggestions/observations/songs are so much better than what Lynn is doing. Personally, I was sure that when Shannon climbed on the table, she’d start chanting

    “Don..na…Martin…grad..u..ates… Donna…Mar..tin…grad..uates…”

    and then be joined by the whole cafeteria.

  146. Anonymous
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    130 – At my HS (granted 40-some years ago), a stop picking on me you brute whine, would all but guarantee you’d get your head stuck in the toilet twice a day instead of just once.

  147. AhClem
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    #145 – cinephile –
    Never mind Donna Martin. I’d like to see a Don Martin ending, where everyone is run over by Karbunkle driving a steam roller. Dawk!

  148. rich
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    144, Ka-Floopa Gush:

    Thanks for the link. Wow, compared to the way L…y…nn… portrays her speaking in the strip, the “real” Shannon comes across a regular John Moschitta Jr.!

  149. Trotzenbonnie
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Paperback Rifler –
    Thanks a bunch. I haven’t done the pogo in so long…I think I broke a hip!
    Seriously, those were great!
    And I will proudly declare my love for the Ramones. And the Kingston Trio.

  150. Mountain Mama
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Gardening? Now I know I’m sorry I read you today.”

    Has anyone ever uttered the phrase “worthy endeavor in its own right”? Unironically uttered it?

    Ah, bad dialogue! Mary Worth, how I hate you so.

  151. T. Chicana
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    *Also a Ramones fan. Bra-vo! And Mountain Mama, would you say that Shannon’s speech is sort of like when Judd Nelson starts riding on that statue in the Breakfast Club? tee hee.

  152. PeteMoss
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    109. Red – No one makes baby sit on a recliner made of cottage cheeze whiz, Mr. Tibbs. No one short of a stack, that is.

  153. edgeways
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    You know, just one more thing to throw on the hate pile for FOOB, having a clef palate does not 1) put you in Special Education and 2) does not make you talk slow. It may make some of your speech hard to understand, but not to the extent that Shanon exhibits, by any stretch of the imagination.

    How do I know? I was born with one. By the time I was her age, except for some sibilants, everything was pretty normal. the most I received was some speech therapy, and my palate wasn’t completely fixed until I was about 8 or 9. So unless there’s other factors involved Shanon, and by extension Lynn is full of crap on this.

  154. edgeways
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    or, er, as #131 Laura c says

  155. Kurdt
    June 26th, 2007 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    “Clambake I’m going to expose your for the fraudulent piece of shit you are!”

    “What ever homes, we gots a game to win. So get practicin’ honky!”

    “You’re not even black are you?”

    “Not especially, but my name is Clambake!”

    “No it’s not.”

    Sad face Clambake: “I know…”

  156. Cerulean Pointing Hand of Doom!
    June 26th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    I was planning to start using the inspired “Yul Brynna” to post here, but my hair’s just short, not shorn, and it seemed wrong … thanks to today’s RMMD, I have found my name.

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the Cerulean Pointing Hand of Doom in panel 5 of RMMD. Granted, the whole comic was colored by someone who wanted to convey the charming effects of an acid trip, so maybe I’m the only one who found the Cerulean Hand particularly notable …

    I expect to see it in my nightmares.

  157. Red Greenback
    June 26th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Orville Spudplugger. Nuff sed.

  158. Zhubin
    June 26th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to imagine that, after Clambake tells Ken to focus on the game, panel four of Gil Thorpe would have the camera pan back to show that Ken and Clambake are standing on the pitcher’s mound in a packed stadium in the bottom of the ninth inning.

    “For Christ’s sake, Ken, this isn’t the appropriate time to unravel my web of lies!”

  159. Mountain Mama
    June 26th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Oooooh…it is reminiscent of that scene, T. Chicana.

    While not as much fun as Clambake, y’ll can just call me Mama.

  160. The Avocado Avenger
    June 26th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: It did occur to me that Lynn was confusing speech impediments with special needs, but then I figured she couldn’t be that stupid. Now I’m not so sure.

    It’s been a while since the speech kids and the special ed kids were all sent to the same room. I think they were doing away with that in the 1980s. That said, when I worked with special needs kids in the 1990s-2000s, the students with speech impediments were sometimes mistaken for students with special needs. Usually by asshole teachers who didn’t want “those retards” in their classroom.

    When it’s all said and done, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Lynn’s exhibiting some of the same behavior. Just to keep my sanity, though, I’d like to believe that Shannon has a cleft palate and is special needs.

  161. ed, edd, eddie n edda
    June 26th, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    What? TJ in Luann is giving cooking lessions to Jeremy in Zits? What kind of teenagers are these guys?

  162. Sylphi
    June 26th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Dude.

    If you view the strips on the FooB website, the character’s eyes blink.

    This is both creepy (given that nothing else about them moves) and yet kind of awesome at the same time.

  163. Vince M.
    June 26th, 2007 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Now come on, you gotta give it up for the 9CW narrative – Brooke catches perfectly the mindset of the precocious full of herself 19-year old, already feeling unjustly put upon by the unsympathetic less-than-humans around her, this mental groove multiplied tenfold, nay, hundredfold by her hothouse artist existence.

  164. Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
    June 26th, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    To give FOOB some credit, LJ has made it clear in previous strips that Shannon has a whole host of developmental problems, both physical and mental . Someone already linked to the “Introducing Shannon” page that goes into more detail about it. For some reason Shannon is just focusing on the physical details at the moment. Hopefully she won’t feel the need to go into her whole laundry list of issues over the next few days (weeks?), or we’ll be heading into Funky Winkerbean territory.

  165. That's The Spirit
    June 26th, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Clambake is not only a fraud, he can grow and shrink at will. Note how in panel three he is suddenly tall enough to put his arm around that dopey kid’s shoulders.

  166. Vince M.
    June 26th, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    106: That’s my all-time favorite Saturday Night Live song – kind of sounds like it should be in ‘Oklahoma!’

  167. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    June 26th, 2007 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    Your commentary on Ralph biding his time waiting for Sally to uncross her legs sounds disturbingly…savvy.

  168. Lammergeier13
    June 26th, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    9CL: In Brooke’s world, one is either an artist or a soulless corporate shill. The fact that Edda ‘tells stories with her body’ keeps her pure and clean, above the filth of the plebian herd. It’s a cute little detour from reality, where ballerinas are typically anorexic, brittle whores who live on cocaine, cigarettes, and coffee. And let’s not forget that the career of a ballet dancer is not known to last terribly long. Honestly, the only career shorter is that of female olympic gymnast. Neither has nearly the longevity of the bee-grinder trade.

  169. Little A.
    June 26th, 2007 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    GT: It looks like Milford also has some Noble ‘Tards in the school population — check out panel one today and look at the guy on the left behind the announcer — he looks like he just climbed down from a tree and put a polo shirt on for the first time in his life. Or he could be the President of the senior class, in this school.

    I do not like the expression Noble ‘Tard but I have borrowed it because it is commonly used in this blog.

  170. The Avocado Avenger
    June 26th, 2007 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Gap-Toothed Starey Hoo Guy, you have made me feel better. I don’t venture into FOOB territory much so I didn’t know about Shannon’s past.

    Shannon already looks old, so it’s no surprise that she’s talking about all her ailments. She’s got bunions, you know, and swimmer’s ear and the gout.

  171. Machika
    June 26th, 2007 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    *gasps* oh god, sally forth has no toes!

    And I’ve never had an office job, but are employees really allowed to take off their shoes and prop their feet up on their desks??

  172. LTBF
    June 26th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    How come April didn’t invite shannon to her birthday party? Maybe her friends would become more accepting of Shannon if they got to associate with her in a social setting.

  173. Lammergeier13
    June 26th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Where the hell are the teachers in this school? Is this some sort of hellish student-run nightmare a la Lord of The Flies? ‘Cause It looks like we got our ‘Piggy’ right here, in more ways than one. Kill The Pig! Drink her blood! Kick Her Off The Goddamn Table! If She Doesn’t Hold The Conch She Doesn’t Get To Speak!

  174. BTS
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    RE: Mary Worth

    Dudes with canes were not meant to use the phrase “go to the party”

  175. BTS
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    I would also like to say that Rex Morgan’s unbelievably messed-up coloring is what we need more of in the comics pages. Now, I’m going out on a limb here, but imagine…just for a moment, and I know this seems crazy, but imagine if Dilbert’s tie was no longer red and black…but green and white! OH, THE CRAZINESS!

  176. PollySweet
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    Ok, this is my first post ever, but here goes…

    Sally Forth-

    the lady in panel one is actually sucking on her pen. It is as if she is sighing because she has quit smoking and is trying to recreate the experience in her mind, but is coming up short.

    SF herself isn’t really missing toes as once thought, but is merely wearing panty-hose thus concealing the little piggies therein.

    As for the broken panel divider between panels two and three… I admit, it is fun for a cartoonist to do these things from time to time, but in this case, as mentioned, it is very unclear that there was ever meant to be a dividing line and it seems that Harvey-stringvests’ (or whatever his name might be) keyboard is “hotwired” right up sally’s forth!

    And finally, yes. I joined the countless numbers who began reading and (as I tend to speed read anything that looks quite boring, even if it is only three panels long…) immediately thought it said “I wonder how high I could get…”

  177. Wastrel Heirs for Justice
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    As I said all along! As I maintained ALL ALONG, dear boy!

    Finally … Finally! some sort of common sense and decorum have been restored. If I have a hangover tomorrow, I will pursue legal action against the Morgans.

    Roger and Hugh were right all along. The sans-culotte guttersnipes in the popular press had their dog’s breakfast, but in the end, if you’ll pardon my pointing it out, breeding tells.

  178. cyberpersephone
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Christ, I thought that the Forths hands were weird. What is up with the flippers at the end of Sally’s legs? And she and Ralph share a desk now? Isn’t he her boss? I’ve never stuck my feet up in my boss’ face before, but maybe I should try it tomorrow.

  179. Hupplethwaite Spoyledd
    June 26th, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    In the above statement I was speaking in my OFFICIAL capacity.

    Speaking personally, I must say Hugh and Roger have been absolute BRICKS. In the face of an obvious criminal conspiracy and his very safety threatened, Hugh stood firm and even drank that Morgan cow’s s__ty turpentine and vinegar-flavored box-wine-in-a-carafe as if it were Chateau Rothschild.

    And Roger tossed a bone to the criminal but igorant Neddy by giving her slatternly stepmother as much of a steal on the house as his own creditors would allow him to get away with, despite months of calumny.

    Again, breeding tells.

    Hupplethwaite Spoyledd
    President Emeritus
    Wastrel Heirs for Justice

  180. Luke
    June 27th, 2007 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    Ha ha! Id is an absolute monarchy and the king’s power isn’t checked by any other institution or law, so he can order the gruesome torture of any of his subjects for the slightest of insults! Ha! The press secretary’s arms have probably both popped out of their sockets, and he’ll die in agony over a series of days! Ah, whimsy.

    And that’s why “Wizard of Id” is awesome.

  181. CP
    June 27th, 2007 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    Yes! Minorities have moved into Gasoline Alley! This will mark the first time “Foo, you trippin!” will be used in the strip

  182. White Rabbit
    June 27th, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    A3G: I just have to point out that I predicted Lu Ann’s rescue from carbon monoxide poisoning by her boneheaded boyfriend, weeks, I say weeks ago, are you listenin’ to me, boy?

  183. Christastrophe
    June 28th, 2007 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Oh good gravy – thank GOD I’m not the only one who misread Sally Forth in that exact same way. I felt like I was stuck between dimensions where my cognitive mind knew she couldn’t possibly be talking about getting high, but some ethereal force wanted me to believe. And also not, like, re-read it or anything.

  184. Cintra Wilson
    June 29th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Hey, where’s the Hentai?

    You know, there’s nothing a little octopus rape couldn’t do for Mary Worth, especially if she was wearing a plaid mini-skirt and white knee socks. I’m just saying, the Japanese are way more hip when it comes to these things. I mean, you open their Sunday papers, (however cockamamie way you do it — probably right to left) and *woah.* I mean, Lizzie from “For Better or for Worse” has a who-ole different reputation over there.

  185. Adam
    August 3rd, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Wellp, now I’m attracted to Sally Forths feet.

Comments are closed for this post.