Post Content

Mary Worth, 1/3/11

Many longtime Mary Worth readers have been grumbling throughout this undeniably awesome Jill-themed storyline about the absence of Drew, Adrian’s brother, who tried unsuccessfully to date two boring women simultaneously and then was shipped off to Vietnam to help the needy, as punishment. Well, today we learn that he isn’t the type of brother who would just skip his sister’s wedding; he’s the type of his brother who would schedule his flight home for the last possible moment so that he “accidentally” misses the ceremony. Stay classy, Dr. Drew!

Actually, based on his twisted visage in panel two, Drew may have been staying away from the wedding in hopes that he would have recovered from his botched facelift by the time he had to pose for family pictures. It’s also possible that Mary got wind that fellow crone Aunt May had an army of nightmare fiends at her wedding and was determined to come up with at least one terrifying face for Adrian’s to keep pace.

Apartment 3-G, 1/3/11

I hope nobody was planning on coming up with 2011’s catchphrase of the year. I know we’re only three days in and all, but I’m pretty sure you’re not going to top “too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church.”

Gasoline Alley, 1/3/11

Gasoline Alley, in a doomed attempt to win the attention of the foul-mouthed, vice-happy youth of today, has introduced its latest character: a swearing, smoking baby.

Post Content

Welcome back, everybody! Did you enjoy your holiday week off? I did, but as ever I must submit to the siren song of the comics! How did our favorite characters spend the week?

Apartment 3-G, 12/27/10

Well, over at Apartment 3-G, Lu Ann realized with a sinking feeling that she never should have trampily exposed that shoulder if she expected to win the heart of his altar boy. Would she just burst into flames if she entered Paul’s church? Better not risk it!

Apartment 3-G, 12/29/10

Also, just FYI, never, ever speak ill of Margo’s building if you want to live.

Curtis, 12/29/10

Curtis’s annual Kwanztraavaganza is featuring less insane hallucinogenic ancient African magic and more depressing modern American unemployment, which is a bummer. But at least the protagonist has a horrifying jawless lamprey-dog as a pet. That counts for something, right?

Mark Trail, 12/29/10

Over in Mark Trail, our hero seems to be learning about this thing called “flirting.”

Funky Winkerbean, 1/1/11

And in Funky Winkerbean, Les’s two ladies finally realized that he’s in love with a dead woman, and now they will give up their fruitless and baffling pursuit of him. (Ha ha, just kidding, they still want to sex him up for reasons no sane person could ever comprehend.)

Mary Worth and Spider-Man, 1/1/11

2011 brought us not one but two wonderful weddings: one solemnized under the watchful glower of Mary Worth, and one made more festive by an endless river of silent, inhuman monsters. Happy New Year, everybody! The bestial fiends of Subterranea are coming to devour you!

Panel from Dick Tracy, 1/2/11

Back on the surface, Dick Tracy’s Crimestoppers Textbook seems to be really, really reaching for crimes to stop.

Anyway, expect 2011 here at the Comics Curmudgeon to bring you basically the same awesomeness that you’ve been getting for nearly seven years now, unless of course the newspaper comics industry completely collapses, in which case I’ll turn the whole thing into a Mary Worth fetish porn site. Happy New Year to you all! And check those receipts! ERRORS DO OCCUR.