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Kinky quickies

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Dropping even the pretense that kids read them anymore, the comics turn at last to porn.

Popeye, 3/17/12

Sea Hag cooks up a scheme to defeat Popeye using a sex robot. HEH, HEH!

Judge Parker, 3/17/12

The Judge Parker girls ‘n’ guns fetish epic rushes toward its climax, reeking of perfume, sweat, and cordite:

Monique Zatari @hitgal
d fahimwife4: OMG 3way @bustybower — u in? Bring yr GUN srsly k?
April Bower @bustybower
d sexysanchez: Got a live one here with @hitgal — come packing! Hurry!
Ofc. Melody Jones @sweetsong
d dispatch: I hear murmuring — coming from inside the house!    I’m going in!
Gloria Sanchez @sexysanchez
d junebug: Hott scene @bustybower — ditch Rex; bring Glock.

Rex Morgan M.D., 3/17/12

Oh Rex, Rex, Rex, you’re doing it all wrong. “Put on the apron” means the apron only. Also, you’re supposed to be holding a spatula not that damn cookie, and those spank lines shouldn’t be coming from her head. I swear you are just hopeless.

June, dear, if you hurry maybe you can catch the action over at April’s? Bring yr GUN srsly k?

June Morgan @junebug
d sexysanchez: Beats anything I got here — see you soon, mmmmm…
Rex Morgan @imthebig
@nikitoy: Thot @junebug would never leave — got time for a “lesson”? I made cookies!

“Oh, wait … I guess I really mean ‘d nikitoy’, don’t I … OH CRAP NOT AGAIN!”

Apartment 3-G, 3/17/12

Scott negotiates for an afternoon of Naughty Baby roleplay and gets in waaaaay over his head.

I’m sitting in this week while Josh takes a vacation — no fundraiser this time around, but that “Donate” button still works whenever the spirit moves you. You can reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net with any site administration issues.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Sunday life lessons

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In the absence of a pulpit, I am employing comic strips.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/16/11

Everything new is bad. Children are a curse.

Family Circus, 10/16/11

I mean it — a curse.

Mary Worth, 10/16/11

We can never escape the mistakes of our past.

Judge Parker, 10/16/11

So we should enjoy the simple pleasures life offers us.

Spider-Man (panel), 10/16/11

Wherever we find them.

That’s it for me — Josh will be back Sunday with your Comments of the Week, and Monday for more mockin’ on the funnies. Thanks for a fun week, everybody!

— Uncle Lumpy

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History is destiny, or something

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So ends the Fall 2011 Comics Curmudgeon Fundraiser — thank you one and all for your generosity and/or patience. GOOSETRAX will remain up into November for all your extended goose-tracking requirements, and you can check for fundraising banners you might have missed here.

Dick Tracy, 10/15/11

Dick Tracy is running a retrospective — a perfect excuse to revisit classic villains and antique themes like this “woman in peril” sequence featuring Tracy’s wife-to-be, Tess Trueheart. Why can’t we see stuff like this in other “new-old” throwback strips? I’m lookin’ at you, For Better or For Worse.

Apartment 3-G, 10/15/11

OK, Lu Ann here has parents and a torch-carrying childhood sweetheart (Cody Stiles, indistinguishable down to the neckerchief from cousin Blaze) back in South Dakota. We haven’t seen the mother lately; her relationship with her father is “complex”, but — like Lu Ann herself — only in the sense that it’s incoherent. Meanwhile, her Texas cousin Ruby seems to have forgotten that Lu Ann is no novice at this wedding business — Powers is her name from a marriage to a Vietnam-era fighter pilot who died in combat. Maybe Ruby doesn’t pay any more attention to Lu Ann than anybody else does?

Mark Trail, 10/15/11

Andy, unheard, is saying, “When Kelly Welly is the brains of your outfit, it’s time to find a new outfit.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/11

Her improbably-coiffed swain may have kept Kelly waiting, but like a gentleman took the time and trouble to steal a car suitable for a lady. And now: POOL PARTY!!!

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 6

Mark Trail — 3/24, 3/25, and 10/22/10



This concludes Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits — until next time. Lordy, that duck’s the size of a Cessna.

— Uncle Lumpy