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Judge Parker, 9/6/22

Spencer Farms gets relabeled Spencer Ranch, and now the local news runs a picture of former Mayor Sanderson over the name of current Mayor Stewart? What is going on, Amy?

Phantom, 9/6/22

Gotta say, Kit dismissing a hypothetical narrative within a hypothetical narrative is pretty badass! He is clearly ready to be the 22nd Phantom of nested metafiction!

Crankshaft, 9/6/22

Hey waitaminute! Cindy and Mason are from the Funky Winkerbean timeline, where everything is ten years older and Ed Crankshaft is a wheelchair-bound invalid. So a trip to the Shaftiverse should knock ten years off everybody’s age, right? Maybe Cindy, who is famously sensitive about her age, planned the trip for that very reason. Anyway, why isn’t Cindy an attractive middle-aged woman and Mason a toddler?

And is that Realtor® Lois Flagston from Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC in that “For Sale” poster? This metaverse stuff is so confusing!

–Uncle Lumpy

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It’s Labor Day in the U S of A and Canada—let’s see how our pals in the comics are kicking back on the unofficial Last Day of Summer!

Mary Worth, 9/5/22

Mary Worth settles in with a good book during Charterstone’s most restrained and patriotic pool party ever.

Marvin, 9/5/22

Marvin congratulates itself for staying on its ghastly message for four decades.

Mutts, 9/5/22

Mutts gives us some vaguely topical wordplay from that damn lisping cat.

Pluggers, 9/5/22

Pluggers miss all the action.

Take It from the Tinkersons, 9/5/22

Ted Tinkerson tries to instill in son Tillman some sense of his own crushing despair.

Happy Labor Day, everybody! Pop open a bratwurst for The Comics Curmudgeon!

–Uncle Lumpy

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“Hello kids, and welcome back to World of Animals — I’m your beloved host, Carl. Well, it seems like it’s been forever, so let’s all catch up — on fascinating Nature Facts from the wonderful World of Animals!

Family Circus, 9/4/22

“I guess they call them ‘charismatic megafauna’ because they hog all the damn attention! Even out of the mind of babes it’s pretty much mammal, mammal, mammal, except for that ridiculous bug. Barfy there seems as peeved as I am about this: Reptiles are creatures, too!

Mark Trail, 9/4/22

“‘Armored body,’ indeed—it looks like somebody is trying to grab a little of that turtle élan. And everybody knows leprosy is just the poor mammal’s salmonella. How would you like it if we reptiles put on hair and pretended to be like you?”
“Not much, I bet!”

Phantom, 9/4/22 (panel)

“Now, I’m not saying mammals don’t have their uses—like, say, if you’re a dead guy trying to guard the tomb of a different dead guy.”

Slylock Fox, 9/4/22 (panel)

“But if you want a real pal—to light your way in the darkness, sound the alarm, or take care of the kids—you can’t go wrong with Class Reptilia. It’s true!

Thank you for your kind attention.

— Turtle Carl