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Dustin, 10/21/23

Dustin is, of course, a comic explicitly created to explore the irreconciliable differences between young people and old people and the resulting struggle between the generations. But it’s also a comic the irreconciliable differences between men and women. For instance, did you know that men love to swear, but women are deathly offended by it? It’s true! Look at that guy across the street in the third panel. Look at how happy he looks! “Finally,” he’s thinking, “some swearing around here!” His wife, on the other hand, is concerned that this public profanity is going to lower her property values.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/21/23

Look, I like to think I’m an open minded guy. I don’t want to “yuck” anybody else’s “yum.” I understand — nay, even celebrate — the fact that there are honest, upstanding citizens out there who can only get off sexually by looking at weird misshapen cartoon hillbillies reenacting the Pietà, with some kind of infantilizing thing involving one of the parties giving the other medicine thrown in for good measure. I just think that’s the sort of thing you should have to pay for with cryptocurrency on the dark web, rather than seeing it in newspapers everywhere. If that makes me “sex negative,” then so be it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/21/23

I was going to make fun of the idea that a minor local (?) grifter quietly and peacefully turning himself into the police would make the local news, when the local news could be covering literally anything else, but then I remembered that Mud is obliquely related to this story, and this is a universe where anything even vaguely related to roots country music sends people into utter hysterics. This is gonna be the top story at 6 and 11! They’ll be playing “Muddy Boots” and “Glenwood Motel” leading into every commercial break! This is huge news!

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Gasoline Alley, 10/20/23

If you were thinking that nothing could make this seemingly interminable talking bear story even more pointless and irritating, you were wrong, because I regret to inform you that Rufus and Joel, Gasoline Alley’s two most pointless and irritating characters (which is really saying something), are now involved. I do have to admit that Joel’s comment about the snake really makes you think. Say, kids [turns chair around and sits astride it, adopting the open and cheerful affect of a youth pastor], do you know what the original interminable, pointless, and irritating story that had some random talking animals in it was? That’s right: the Holy Bible. Hey, where are you going? Don’t you kids like comics?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/20/23

Speaking of pastors, we all know that Parson Tuttle is a fraud who likes to yuck it up with local criminal Snuffy Smith about his sins, but I still find it surprising that the two men are watching some R-rated show or movie full of swear words in front of his wife. I guess she’s probably happy that he’s finally spending time with her?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/20/23

Ha ha, this seems like a fun way to find out that June has been complicit with Rene’s various crimes! Will he have a chance to turn state’s evidence on her, or will her agents arrange for him to die in brawl in the jail cafeteria before he ever goes to trial?

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/29/23

Believe me, if there’s one bit of empathy doing this blog for multiple decades has granted me, it’s the understanding that it’s actually really a grind to come up with a new joke every day indefinitely, so I don’t blame comics writers for latching onto whatever they can as a a prompt. Blondie in particular loves to use fake holidays made up for marketing purposes to hang their jokes on, and that’s what I assumed was going on here, but a little Googling shows that “Contrarian Day” simply is not a thing — it mostly seems to occur in the phrase “contrarian day trader,” which is a sort of person who, if some very sad Reddit threads are any indication, frequently loses a lot of money. Anyway, you’d think he could’ve just said “Opposite Day?” That isn’t any kind of official holiday either, but at least it’s been sanctified by numerous cruel teens, right after they tell you that your clothes look nice.

Dennis the Menace, 9/29/23

What’s the menace here? That Dennis is revealing to his mother that his father has a comely assistant? That Dennis is accusing his father of being bad at his job and needing help? Neither: it’s that his father has violated their community’s WASP code and hired [shudder] an Italian.