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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Family Circus, 10/29/23

You know, I was about to go on a whole rant here about how the fact that Hootin’ Holler’s only clergyman is a grifter and fraud has resulted in Snuffy holding to some kind of folk syncretism, since he’s freely combining a pagan ritual in which humans take on the guise of evil spirits with a celebration of the risen Christ. But then I was humbled when I got to today’s Family Circus, a strip whose theology I have always assumed is impeccable. We see the Saints themselves rejoice at seeing children dressing up as gangsters or literal witches! I am, as the kids say, sitting my ass down and learning.

Dick Tracy, 10/29/23

Hey, let’s not forget, this Dick Tracy plot isn’t just about the elevated world of rare book crime, it’s also about stabbing, and since Xaviera here has a knife, she probably did the murders, case closed! I do sincerely appreciate the cinematic composition here; presumably Xaviera keeps talking over the last few panels, but from Dick’s perspective her voice fades away as he catches the glint of the blade and all he can think is knife knife knife KNIFE KNIFE STAB STAB STAB KNIFESTAB

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/23

We do know how to cure it, Rex! The cure is called the Mirakle Method, and it broke Rene’s will and convinced him to give up his life of crime and turn himself in to the authorities almost instantly! You just watched the news segment where they talked about it on TV and everything. Rex should go to the local prison and visit that guy who kidnapped criminals and then begged Rex to operate on their brains, to give him the good news.

Marvin, 10/24/23

One of my personal hobby horses is that “a fire hydrant is like a toilet, to a dog” jokes in the comics have become further and further untethered from the underlying reality that dogs will just piss on any vertical surface in general and fire hydrants are often the best case scenario when walking a dog in through a neighborhood when the other options are houses, cars, and trees. Often my response is “have any of these people ever actually seen a dog piss on a fire hydrant?”, and today’s strip reveals that for the Marvin creative team, the answer is clearly no, and the version of the process that they’re visualizing is deeply disturbing.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/24/23

Look, I’m sorry, I know that, in times of increased political and social tensions, legacy newspaper characters occasionally urge us all, in a folksy and extremely nonspecific manner, to get along, but this is Snuffy Smith we’re talking about. He’s involved in a violent feud with the Barlow clan that’s lasted so many generations that nobody can even remember its origins anymore! He’s not the guy to deliver this message.

Hi and Lois, 10/24/23

Yes, that certainly is how caffeine addiction works! You know, some people say that comic strips should have “punchlines,” but I think that’s a bourgeois affectation.

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Dustin, 10/21/23

Dustin is, of course, a comic explicitly created to explore the irreconciliable differences between young people and old people and the resulting struggle between the generations. But it’s also a comic the irreconciliable differences between men and women. For instance, did you know that men love to swear, but women are deathly offended by it? It’s true! Look at that guy across the street in the third panel. Look at how happy he looks! “Finally,” he’s thinking, “some swearing around here!” His wife, on the other hand, is concerned that this public profanity is going to lower her property values.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/21/23

Look, I like to think I’m an open minded guy. I don’t want to “yuck” anybody else’s “yum.” I understand — nay, even celebrate — the fact that there are honest, upstanding citizens out there who can only get off sexually by looking at weird misshapen cartoon hillbillies reenacting the Pietà, with some kind of infantilizing thing involving one of the parties giving the other medicine thrown in for good measure. I just think that’s the sort of thing you should have to pay for with cryptocurrency on the dark web, rather than seeing it in newspapers everywhere. If that makes me “sex negative,” then so be it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/21/23

I was going to make fun of the idea that a minor local (?) grifter quietly and peacefully turning himself into the police would make the local news, when the local news could be covering literally anything else, but then I remembered that Mud is obliquely related to this story, and this is a universe where anything even vaguely related to roots country music sends people into utter hysterics. This is gonna be the top story at 6 and 11! They’ll be playing “Muddy Boots” and “Glenwood Motel” leading into every commercial break! This is huge news!