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Gasoline Alley, 10/20/23

If you were thinking that nothing could make this seemingly interminable talking bear story even more pointless and irritating, you were wrong, because I regret to inform you that Rufus and Joel, Gasoline Alley’s two most pointless and irritating characters (which is really saying something), are now involved. I do have to admit that Joel’s comment about the snake really makes you think. Say, kids [turns chair around and sits astride it, adopting the open and cheerful affect of a youth pastor], do you know what the original interminable, pointless, and irritating story that had some random talking animals in it was? That’s right: the Holy Bible. Hey, where are you going? Don’t you kids like comics?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/20/23

Speaking of pastors, we all know that Parson Tuttle is a fraud who likes to yuck it up with local criminal Snuffy Smith about his sins, but I still find it surprising that the two men are watching some R-rated show or movie full of swear words in front of his wife. I guess she’s probably happy that he’s finally spending time with her?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/20/23

Ha ha, this seems like a fun way to find out that June has been complicit with Rene’s various crimes! Will he have a chance to turn state’s evidence on her, or will her agents arrange for him to die in brawl in the jail cafeteria before he ever goes to trial?

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/29/23

Believe me, if there’s one bit of empathy doing this blog for multiple decades has granted me, it’s the understanding that it’s actually really a grind to come up with a new joke every day indefinitely, so I don’t blame comics writers for latching onto whatever they can as a a prompt. Blondie in particular loves to use fake holidays made up for marketing purposes to hang their jokes on, and that’s what I assumed was going on here, but a little Googling shows that “Contrarian Day” simply is not a thing — it mostly seems to occur in the phrase “contrarian day trader,” which is a sort of person who, if some very sad Reddit threads are any indication, frequently loses a lot of money. Anyway, you’d think he could’ve just said “Opposite Day?” That isn’t any kind of official holiday either, but at least it’s been sanctified by numerous cruel teens, right after they tell you that your clothes look nice.

Dennis the Menace, 9/29/23

What’s the menace here? That Dennis is revealing to his mother that his father has a comely assistant? That Dennis is accusing his father of being bad at his job and needing help? Neither: it’s that his father has violated their community’s WASP code and hired [shudder] an Italian.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/19/23

Sadly, due to the free availability of firearms and ongoing unchecked clan warefare, PTSD is endemic among the population of Hootin’ Holler.

Pluggers, 9/19/23

I’m not usually one to praise the art in Pluggers, but I think this panel is pretty evocative of an aging beast-man who, in a moment of solemn reflection, realizes he is slouching in only one direction now, and that direction will see him grow smaller and smaller until he ceases to be altogether.

Blondie, 9/19/23

That’s right, everyone! Please don’t stop subscribing to print newspapers, even though that’s how you learn about all the crazy stuff going on in the world today. Because without a newspaper, there’s no other way for you to read the comics! [Aide whispers something in my ear] Oh NO