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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Blondie, 2/14/23

One strip you could write off, but two? That’s a trend. Folks, if you didn’t get your beloved a slab of heart-shaped meat for Valentine’s Day this year, you need to think about what you did wrong and get ahead of the game in planning a meat-tastic 2/14/24. (Note: please only use a cut of meat shaped like a cartoon heart, not an actual animal or human heart, as that would be disgusting.)

Gil Thorp, 2/14/23

Speaking of romance, we last saw the Thorps holding onto their marriage for dear life despite obstacles like Mimi’s flirtatious golf coach. This Valentine’s Day, they’re going to revive their relationship the only way they know how: by trying to have sex as airliners come screaming in for a landing directly above them every four to nine minutes.

Beetle Bailey, 2/14/23

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny that Otto doesn’t want to smell Beetle’s socks, but I do want to point that there are generally only two circumstances where we have dogs try to figure out where people are, and those are “on the run from the law” and “probably dead.”

Mary Worth, 2/14/23

“I’m shopping! Just like you! Yep, exchanging money for goods and services sure is the name of the game, here in America!”

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Gil Thorp, 2/10/23

Huh, so I guess while Coach Martinez reigns supreme in football, in basketball he must answer to “Coach Kim,” who I assume his delivering his line here with gutting, icy disdain. The coaching hierarchy remains mysterious! Not exactly sure how Luke’s Thorbsession has led to today’s disastrous Valley Tech performance, though. Maybe the team had set aside one practice to master “not throwing the ball to the other team” but Luke never showed up because he was busy powerflexing in the mirror or something.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/10/23

Look, man, I don’t claim to know everything about the gender politics of Hootin’ Holler, but I feel like I’ve spent more time thinking about the worldbuilding of this strip generally than just about anyone else, and I’m confident in saying that the menfolk do not let their wives tag along on fishing trips. The whole point of the fishing trip is to create segregated homosocial spaces, and also avoid being nagged about not having a job. I refute this!

Pluggers, 2/10/23

I stared at this a long time wondering if pluggers think a turtleneck is like a backwards shirt, but I think the joke is just that pluggers’ necks are bigger now than they were 40+ years ago — or, in the case of the plugger on display here, that they now simply have no neck at all.

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Crock, 2/7/22

Wow, first there’s a good joke in Crock, and now there’s a Crock that does a decent job of showing the mania of self-delusion that overcomes a colonial power when it’s on the verge of realizing it cannot win a war of occupation? What’s next, a second good joke?

Mary Worth, 2/7/22

Wilbur was in remarkably good spirits when his ex got married, but I have to imagine his other ex finding new romance is going to push him over the edge, right? Like he’s got to know this is happening, somehow, either he’s sitting alone at home and suddenly his combover stood straight up on end, or he’s just been watching from the bushes this whole time.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/7/22

“I tried t’ tell her: No outsider is going to come to this impoverished and economically isolated community! She’s going t’ hafta marry a cousin or leave her home forever, same choice as the rest of us face.”