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Apartment 3-G, 9/20/12

Oh, man, Aunt Cathy is quickly vying for the title of Josh’s favorite Apartment 3-G character, non-Margo division. In fact, she’s almost as good at efficiently belittling Evan as Margo is. New theory: “Aunt Cathy” is actually Margo, who, decades in the future, remembered all the good times she had in the early ’10s humiliating her young employee for sport, and then travelled back in time so she could relive the magic.

B.C., 9/20/12

Wow, those mammoth sure are blase about the brutal dismemberment of their friends and relatives. I think that if I stumbled upon an awning made out of human skin, I wouldn’t be hanging around debating the aesthetics.

Crankshaft, 9/20/12

Haha, it’s funny because Crankshaft’s family decided to sell something that was important to him without asking his permission!

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Crankshaft, 8/22/12

Press on, dreamer — this is Crankshaft.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/22/12

“Pleeeeeeeease? And thank your lucky stars you only lost an arm, young lady!”

Family Circus, 8/22/12

“Or we could stick seeds in all that dirt on me and grow crops right here.”

B.C., 8/22/12

They’re a family business. Have a nice day.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Slylock Fox, 8/13/12

Today’s strip truly shows the limits of Slylock’s philosophy, and indeed of his life’s work. Sure, his keen powers of observation have allowed him to easily identify the defects in the new royal timepiece. But his simplistic deduction can’t help uncover the structural defects in Princess Pussycat’s government that have contributed to this debacle. What are the flaws in the government contracting process that allowed the monarch to spend thousands of tax coins on a luxury item that doesn’t even work properly? Shouldn’t there have been some sort of inspection before money changed hands? Does the freakish long-necked bird-person have a good reputation in the clock-building world, or did he get this job by personal connections or through a bribe to a lower-level government official? And of course, now that he’s gotten that sack of money, it’ll take more than a little ratiocination to claw it back from him, shoddy workmanship or no.

B.C., 8/13/12

Oh, the silly, superstitious cave-man, running off in terror because he believed a bleached, dried human skull was speaking to him! In fact, the talking was coming from two giant ants inside the skull, and they were talking to each other, in English, which isn’t something to be scared of at all.

Dennis the Menace, 8/13/12

Dennis is eager to close this deal, since he knows from experience that his thoughts and opinions aren’t worth anything.

Ziggy, 8/13/12

In order to feel better about himself, Ziggy has started watching the Failure Channel.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/13/12

Say, do you enjoy the overall oppressive sense of gloom that hovers over Funky Winkerbean, but feel that the strip falls down on the job wen it comes to having its less appealing characters sharing way too much personal information and whining about not getting enough action? Well, today’s strip is for you, my friend!