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Beetle Bailey, 2/4/26

Hey! Miss Buxley Wednesday is an honorable tradition, and it was specifically created so that elderly pervert comic strip fans could regularly get hornt up about a crude drawing of a sexy lady in a little black dress! It’s not for insulting Miss Buxley as a bad worker, and then not even showing her in the strip so people can get horny over her. This is disrespectful to Miss Buxley. I mean, doing it the other way is too, I suppose, but this way is disrespectful to the perverts too, and like it or not they keep the comics in business.

Mary Worth, 2/4/26

It’s hard to imagine a meal getting funnier after one of the participants says “Toby, I’m glad Ian finally found peace with your bird,” but then — wham! The waiter shows up with a huge salad and a big slice of pie, apparently to be eaten by two different people at the same time.

Marvin, 2/4/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because soon all of Marvin’s body parts will freeze in the bitter cold, and then eventually his unpleasant parents, who are nowhere to be seen, will be charged with criminal negligence. That’s what we in the Marvin-hating community call a “win-win”!

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Herb and Jamaal, 1/20/26

Man, that’s a harrowing expression on Herb’s face. He just realized that he shouldn’t engage in thinking … and he can’t stop thinking about it! Much as he knows he should, nay, must stop thinking about it! Where’s Jamaal, Herb should not be left alone at the restaurant with his thoughts. His terrible, terrible thoughts.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/20/26

Oh wow, Rex’s cataract surgery has been delayed by several hours, leading to … sex? Sexual relations with his wife? Not since the great “Rex and June lying around in their underwear for a whole Sunday strip” incident of aught-eight has this strip teased something so risque. Too bad everything will just be all blurry for Rex so he won’t fully enjoy it! (Ha ha, just kidding, Rex doesn’t “enjoy” sex, because it involves sustained interaction with another human being, something he generally tries to avoid at all costs.)

Beetle Bailey, 1/20/26

Oh, wow, I know we’ve always assumed that Beetle just magically bounces back, cartoon-style, after Sarge beats him into a pile of goo, but in fact it appears that each beating is followed by several painful months of recovery in a hospital, with the abuser staring down at his victim the whole time. Grim stuff!

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Beetle Bailey, 1/14/26

I feel like if you have an elderly authority figure looking startled and somewhat confused and shouting “Take some notes!” and then immediately afterwards passing out, and his subordinates are gleeful about it because it means they don’t have to do work, that’s a little less “Ha, this is a zany situation” and a little more elder abuse. It’s sadly not that unheard of for a powerful but ailing person’s staff to basically puppet them for an extended period of time, and it’s all fun and games until, in this case, the area of the United States protected by Camp Swampy is invaded by enemy forces and no competent general officer is present to coordinate defensive operations.

Mary Worth, 1/14/26

I’m not sure how old Ian is supposed to be so I guess I won’t call this “elder abuse” per se but it’s clear that his mind has been broken by Toby and Sunny. Look at his sleepy, dopey smile as Sunny cackles evilly literally inches in front of his face! This is some real “He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother” shit right here, only with a parrot.

Shoe, 1/14/26

To me, one of the most depressing things about the Perfesser and Skyler’s home is that there’s exactly one place to sit in their living room, which tells us volumes about the relationship between the uncle and his barely tolerated nephew/ward. Today we see that even when they eat out together, the Perfesser insists on sitting as far away from his nephew as possible.

Luann, 1/14/26

When I started commenting on Luann again, did I know things were going to end up less than a year later with Luann getting propositioned to go fuck over by the dumpsters? No, of course not. Obviously not. Different choices would’ve been made had I known, I’ll tell you that much.