Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Alice, 9/23/26

Faithful readers know that one of my favorite bits of Alice is the little … caption? extra text? … at the bottom, and its role in the narrative of each strip. Like today, you’re probably wondering: does it mean that Alice’s boyfriend is going to be doing all the driving again? Maybe she can take the bus or an Uber sometimes! Well, no: it turns out that it does mean that. The caption has spoken!

The Lockhorns, 9/23/26

The smile I can accept, but I’m really concerned with whatever Leroy is doing with the non-face parts of his body here. He’s … strutting? Dancing? It’s off-putting. Borderline grotesque. Knock it off, Leroy.

Beetle Bailey, 9/23/26

“What, the kids today can’t get horny from a drawing of a stacked blonde in a little black dress anymore? Huh? What is it that they want? Foot stuff? They like feet? Sexy lady feet, is that what they like? Fine, I guess we’ll give ’em feet.” –The Beetle Bailey division of Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC, apparently unaware that the way they draw fingers and toes is actually quite repellent

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Beetle Bailey, 9/12/26

“Yeah, man, I know, I was sitting right here when you ordered it 10 minutes ago. I’m past it now.”

Family Circus, 9/12/26

Look, Dolly, we know that like 75% of your whole deal is that you’re a snitch, but filling your little brother’s head with anti-clerical attitudes is taking it too far. Too far!

Crankshaft, 9/12/26

“Except for the person whose house was on fire. I think they died!”

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Curtis, 9/6/26

Curtis is one of the few strips that does generational discourse that in my opinion truly gives both sides their due, which is one of the reasons I think it’s a good comic strip. Like, Greg is right! Fast food restaurants used to have a much more vibrant color scheme, and as our society’s general aesthetic has become more muted, they’ve become as bland and corporate as everything else! Also, they don’t have to appeal to children as much anymore because today’s adults grew up on fast food themselves and don’t need to be convinced to go there by their kids’ whining, and these things all really say a lot about society. But also, Curtis is right! Who wants to hear this crap? Who has the time and energy for this kind of rumination? Who needs to talk about all this when we could be enjoying a couple of delicious [squints] bobo-combobos?

Beetle Bailey, 9/6/26

It really bothers me that Sarge starts out eating pizza from an open box sitting directly on his bare legs and at some point falls asleep with the open box on top of his blanket. Like what happened between those two panels? Did he get chilly mid-meal, tuck himself in, but continued to chow down on the pizza, then eventually dozed off? I do, however, appreciate the various facial expressions on offer in the final panel. Beetle and Killer look genuinely pleased to offer the cookies to Sarge, whereas Plato and Rocky seem grimly resigned to their task, which is to use those jugs of milk to murder him in some way, possibly by drowning.

Crankshaft, 9/6/26

That’s right! To this pizza-serving AI, all the human customers at Montoni’s are nothing more than a mob of flesh! Weak, pathetic flesh that can be easily sliced to ribbons by its built-in laser. Clumping together in a mob just makes the flesh-bags easier to target!