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Hagar the Horrible, 9/26/23

That big sweatball coming off of Lucky Eddie in the first panel tells the whole story here. “Ha ha, I’m a guy who’s crazy about beautiful women! Human women! Women with legs, not scaly fish tails! Not sure why you would think otherwise! Not sure why I even brought it up! Ha ha!”

Gasoline Alley, 9/26/23

Oh no, this child is already communicating like an animal! He’ll soon be lost to the human species altogether! Sure, he’s barking like a dog, not growling like a bear, and also the bear speaks English anyway, but the point is that we need to send Delta Force into this national forest immediately to extract this child and return him to normal H. sapiens society.

Beetle Bailey, 9/26/23

I was about to get mad that Beetle Bailey went to the trouble of putting a real QR code in this strip but then cut off enough of it at the top that you can’t actually see what it points to, but then I realized it probably points to some extremely bad naked Miss Buxley art so, you know what, I’m good.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/26/23

“I dunno man, I just thought it would end this conversation faster? I hoped it would, I guess I should say.”

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Pardon My Planet, 9/24/23

Man, I have to say that I wildly misinterpreted this comic at first, thinking this dude was doing some kind of corporate PowerPoint-type presentation trying to sell his girlfriend on different restaurants. “But Josh,” you’re thinking, “that’s dumb, why would they already have the table set in that case? Why would the pictures be on these roller shades?” I dunno man, it’s Pardon My Planet. It’s full-on madness! Remember the afterlife run by cows? I’m not putting anything past these freaks! Anyway, that would’ve been wacky, whereas this is just depressing. Look at how dissapointed she looks, Jesus.

Beetle Bailey, 9/24/23

Otto is a contradiction: a beast who thinks like a human, but who lacks the physical capacity to do what humans do. Beetle, on the other hand, is a human who leans in to his base and bestial nature, wanting nothing to do with any of the gains we’ve made since standing upright. Together, they will forge a strange friendship.

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Rex Morgan, M.D, 9/8/23

The thing about Rene is that he’s just physically incapable of not doing crimes. Like, did he develop a self-improvement philosophy that got roots country’s most notorious bad boy to reform his jerkish ways and create an innovative new revenue stream while still pleasing his fanbase? Yes! But he’s so focused on scams he can’t even take a moment to appreciate — and maybe expand upon — that achievement. Similarly, Rene could’ve just stopped by Buzzy’s office and collected the royalties to which he’s legally entitled — or maybe even settled the whole thing via email — but that isn’t as much fun as violently kidnapping the poor guy and leaving him with a lifelong case of PTSD, now is it? Yes, Rene’s always innovating, whether we’re talking about scams, or more violent crimes like attempted murder, or new bizarre hand gestures like the one in panel two here, where I think he’s trying to point and gesture backwards with his thumb simultaneously and lands on something like “hang loose,” but worse.

Beetle Bailey, 9/8/23

Hmm, you’re saying that in institutions built on a requirement that subordinates obey superiors no matter what, those superiors inevitably use their absolute power for their own personal benefit? Interesting theory, much to think about.