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Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Friday quickies

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Beetle Bailey, 11/12/21

Plato is exactly the kind of dork who would try to pull off the “the most erotic organ of all is the brain” thing, but declaring that he’s about to read erotic fiction and jerk off his cerebral cortex right here in front of everybody is a bridge too far.

Family Circus, 11/12/21

Meanwhile, Billy is claiming to have some kind of terrible amoeboid brain parasite in a last ditch effort to avoid the consequences of just being kind of dumb.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/12/21

Here’s today’s Mother Goose and Grimm! It’s about some dogs that are about to piss on another dog’s tongue.

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She might need to eventually get even more “on the nose” and bop him on his actual nose

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Beetle Bailey, 11/10/21

Wow, is it up to me now to be the guardian of Beetle Bailey lore? I guess it is, so here’s my gripe: this is absolutely not a Zero gag. Zero’s gags are about being stupid and being a farm boy. This one might be good for Rocky (anti-authority), Killer (opportunity to dress “sexy” for the ladies), or even Beetle (general slovenliness). On the other hand, if Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC truly thinks only morons would want to have casual Friday in their workplace, that summons up the image of them all coming in to the office to churn out Hi and Lois in suits and ties, which is pretty funny in and of itself.

Mary Worth, 11/10/21

Hmm, I’m going to go ahead and declare Estelle’s choice of TSwift for her response song as “basic.” Could’ve been bolder, but, you know what, it’s appropriate, and with Wilbur you need to be as on the nose and direct as possible, so I’ll allow it.

Family Circus, 11/10/21

This is why you don’t let books with non-biblical worldviews inside the Keane Kompound. Look at that dinosaur’s sexy sneer! No storks are necessary here: that dinosaur definitely fucks.

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Mr. Beasely absolutely knows what he’s doing here

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Blondie, 10/7/21

This is a perfectly sweet little strip and I’m sorry but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that famous binge eater Dagwood Bumstead is making this proposal to his dog when she’s already chewing her treat. Now I’m just sitting here imagining the unseen fourth panel where he’s yelling “SPIT IT IN MY MOUTH, GIRL! SPIT IT IN DADDY’S MOUTH!”

Beetle Bailey, 10/7/21

OK, I know I said I had long ago dropped the Beetle/Sarge sex jokes, but you can’t deny that Sarge’s smile as he imagines himself haunting Beetle’s dreams is very erotically charged.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/7/21

Oh hey, remember how a shadowy cabal tried to pull former military badass Jordan back for one last job, but he turned them down? Well, good news! While the shadowy cabal is disappointed that they won’t get to team up with their good and talented friend Jordan, they respect his right to make his own life choices. I trust this is the last we’ll hear about the subject.