Post Content

Judge Parker, 12/23/24

Aw, isn’t that nice? Sam is going to let Alan enjoy the holidays and wait until the new year until he yells at him for sheltering his criminal daughter. Personally speaking, I’d like to get it out of the way now, you know? No worse way to spend the holiday then dwelling on “Ah, what kind of pissy scold am I going to get from Sam Driver about my latest criminal antics” when I could be exchanging gifts with my family or getting drunk or whatever.

Blondie, 12/23/24

Look, I’m not afraid to say it: A giant stocking stuffed full with cookies and two kinds of meat sounds disgusting. It’s all going to get mixed together and lint from the stocking will stick to everything! I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination but Dagwood’s whole deal is very gross.

Gasoline Alley, 12/23/24

Santa, famously, sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake. To this list of surveillance crimes, add another: every time somebody gives birth, anywhere in the world, he’s watching. He’s watching … and he remembers. He remembers everything.

Post Content

Blondie, 11/25/24

A common development in all sorts of open-ended narratives (comic strips, TV shows, what have you) is that ancillary characters are introduced to fill a specific purpose, like being the main character’s barber, but then you have a lot of strips/episodes to fill, and sometimes you use them to flesh out the backstories of those ancillary characters, and sometimes that process (when done well) reveals that these characters have full, rich lives beyond the specific purpose they were originally created for, but other times that process (when done poorly) simply tells you that the barber’s off-panel life consists of more barber, endless barber, barber all the way down, barber (as revealed today) that stretches back in time across generations. The one non-barber aspect that peeks through is Italianness, which is why our guy is allowed, as a member of that fiery and emotional race, to shed a single tear in panel two.

Mary Worth, 11/25/24

Haha, yes, it begins, and by “it” I mean Mary’s friends bailing on her now that she’s too sick to put a piping hot turkey dinner in front of their face on Thursday. A normal person would hear “I’m too tired to even make my homemade chicken soup for myself!” and ask “Oh, Mary, what can I do to step up and help,” but instead Toby is all “Don’t worry, I forgive you! You just lie there on the couch in your own sick while I use this adorable tiny easel I bought on Etsy to paint a cat with fetal alcohol syndrome that I hope someone will buy on Etsy ironically.”

Gil Thorp, 11/25/24

Big news! With Gil steadfastly refusing to return to work and the Mudlarks doing even worse than usual in his absence, Coach Hernandez is consulting … a pipe-smoking ghost??? Who doesn’t really seem to have any specific football knowledge? More on this important story as it develops.

Post Content

Shoe, 11/24/24

If I told you to imagine a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, you’d probably think, “Wow! Can’t get duller than that!” Well, what if I told you to imagine two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed? Even duller, right? Thankfully, today’s Shoe artists have tried to fight against the tide, by showing you two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, but you’re seeing them from an angle directly above them for some reason, like you’re sneaking into their house via the HVAC ducts as part of some sort of elaborate heist.

Beetle Bailey and Blondie, 11/24/24

I feel like I’ve never seen a stronger contrast between the quality of the throwaway panels like we have between these two strips today. The Beetle Bailey panels very efficiently establish how Sunday mornings in the Camp Swampy barracks play out and lay more character groundwork for Beetle and Sarge’s relationship. Blondie’s panels, meanwhile, are as lazy as possible, add absolutely nothing, pure clip art dreck that might as well be replaced by a tire ad. And yet when it comes to actual strip punchlines, Blondie is actually funny for once whereas Beetle Bailey … well, not so much. Life is a rich tapestry!