Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/31/25
Wait, is something happening in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Is something interesting happening in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Wild. Truly wild. Something’s happening. Who would’ve guessed it?
Blondie, 5/31/25
Guys, you’ve both been angling to swing with Ernie and Lily for months now! You think your wives don’t know? They know!
Pluggers, 5/31/25
Sorry, dog-man, it’s actually Saturday! Close, though. So close.
Blondie, 5/30/25
Here’s a joke for you: a guy with a master’s degree in ancient history and a guy with an MFA in poetry were coworkers once, back in the late ’90s. The punchline is that they were coworkers as office temps doing filing at a professional association for orthodontists. Obviously they chatted to occupy their overeducated brains while putting resumes in alphabetical order, and the guy with the ancient history degree (me) somehow got onto the topic of the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run,” and how it’s a crime that in one verse it rhymes “Texas,” “facts is,” “justice,” and “taxes.” The university-trained poet, to be contrary, insisted this was (in a phrase that is burned forever in my brain) “a slant rhyme, like Emily Dickinson would use.” I didn’t buy it then and I don’t buy it now, so sorry, Elmo, it’s a good try but “screens” and “memes” don’t quite rhyme either. Also, are teachers actually showing angry memes to children? I was going to argue this point too, but you know what, a lot of teachers are pretty young, and as an old person, I have decided that any conflicts between Zoomers and Gen Alpha or whatever we’re calling the children now are none of my business. I’m holding the line on the rhyme thing, though.
Mary Worth, 5/30/25
After finally catching Belle in an act of total madness, Wilbur has now decided that she should leave, actually! How is he going to make that happen? Well, he’s not sure about that one. He’s mostly an “ideas guy.” Maybe Dawn can fill in the details.
Family Circus, 5/30/25
I love that we get a good look at the other kids outside, just vibing and enjoying the Jeffy-free lifestyle. Once Jeffy deliberately hid from their sight, this became the best day of their whole week!
Mary Worth 5/26/25
OK, sorry, it’s very funny that Wilbur’s instinct upon stumbling onto this perfectly insane scene is to address not Belle, his girlfriend/sex partner/whatever who is capable of understanding and responding to normal human speech, but rather his fish, who is not. I guess he really does love that fish and/or is untethered from reality, ha ha! Speaking of which, check out those pinprick constricted pupils on Belle. Clearly she was neither kissing nor preparing to eat Willa, but was rather somehow getting high from interacting with the fish, using some advanced technique currently known only to Florida men and women.
Blondie, 5/26/25
Ha ha, it’s funny because the Bumsteads are in a financially desperate state, and Dagwood has turned to gambling in a last-ditch effort to pay the family bills!