Archive: Blondie

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Blondie, 11/1/25

The thing about Dagwood is that he’s a dullard. He’s not stupid, though he’s also clearly not a genius, but mostly he just lacks any kind of imagination, which is driven home by the fact that we get to see his reveries and learn that they’re just the most on-the-nose stuff imaginable. “Wow, chefs racing through kitchens on zip lines? I think that would go … a little … like this!” [imagines a bunch of chefs racing through a kitchen on a zip line, adding zero additional information or details]

Gil Thorp, 11/1/25

The current Gil Thorp storyline is a flashback to the ’80s, when Milford dabbled in having a girls’ football team, with Emily “Mimi” Clover, the future Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp and subsequent Coach Ex-Mrs. Coach Thorp, being one of the students most excited about the prospect, and Coach Gil Thorp being the team’s … coach? A student coach, maybe? I hope??? Because he married Mimi later????? Anyway, we learned earlier that the whole scenario ended badly for unspecified reasons, which is why Mimi doesn’t like to talk about it, but I think after today’s panel three we’re going to learn that the school district shut the team down because it was getting “too sexy.”

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Blondie, 10/18/25

God, I love how genuinely sad Dagwood looks in panel two. Sure, he loves his wife more than anything, but he also made some big promises and sweeping declarations to that sandwich when they were alone together. He’s sorry it had to hear this now, in its last moments before it slides unchewed down his gullet. He hopes it will still remember the good times they’ve had together, and the genuine affection in which he’s always held it.

Mary Worth, 10/18/25

I know that Mary and Olive billed this visit as a “mini-vacation” but I have to say “all I had time to do on my cross-country trip is briefly meet some dogs in a condo parking lot and then almost die in a hot air balloon mishap” is truly mini indeed. I guess it’s possible that Olive’s parents heard about the accident on the news, or, given that this is the year 2025, saw a clip of it in a “CRAZY HOT AIR BALLOON MISHAPS” YouTube compilation, and decided that was a little much even by their notoriously lax parenting standards, so they summoned her home early because “we think she has to start going to school or whatever soon.”

Pluggers, 10/18/25

I know pluggers are tired of being told they could learn a thing or two from young people today, but: hey, pluggers! The young people today aren’t answering their phones at all, at any time of day! You too could be that free!

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Shoe, 10/11/25

OK, the fact that this person she dated is named “Lance” pushes this over the edge and makes me genuinely wonder if he’s supposed to be an actual knight. And before you say “Ha ha, Josh, don’t be silly, it’s clearly just an extended metaphor,” remember that these people are all birds! We’re off the map of human reason here! There could be knight birds, you don’t know.

Herb and Jamaal, 10/11/25

Mortal! Do you wish to get the merest glimpse of what it would be like for your soul to be tortured forever, in hell? Well, check out Rev. Croom’s breath, or, depending on the implications you’re getting from this strip, farts.

Blondie, 10/11/25

Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, Dagwood, you have an eating disorder