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Archive: Blondie

131

A marriage plot

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Gil Thorp, 1/9/26

Oh, you thought Gil got engaged because he was “in love” or “haunted by the specter of his mortality and eager to recapture a fleeting taste of youth” or whatever? Wrong! Like all great coaches, Gil is intensely competitive, and since his ex-wife is now a rival Valley Conference coach, he’s competing with her at all levels and at all times. Now, a less enlightened man would see getting engaged as a way to defeat his ex because she can no longer have him; but to Gil, getting married while Mimi strings along her current girlfriend would be the sweetest victory of all because it proves he’s better than her at getting married. In your face, Mimi! Who’s extremely divorced now?

Blondie, 1/9/26

Do you think that the Blondie writing staff gets burned out from churning out weird food verbiage like “holiday eating season” and “eating it forward” week after week? Or do they love it, constantly pushing the envelope with off-putting phrases like “one fat patty at a time,” because their relationship with food is profoundly disordered, just like the beloved comic strip character Dagwood Bumstead?

Intelligent Life, 1/9/26

I gotta disagree here; if my choices are seeing the unpleasant nerds of Intelligent Life discuss franchise movie box office numbers or watching them being hunted for sport, I will take the latter choice every day of the week.

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Looming holiday cheer

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Dennis the Menace, 12/17/25

[when you get caught in the middle of what’s very explicitly a mock torture session, like you’re literally condemning this snowman to die in agony, you went through the trouble of putting a frowny face on him and everything, and you want to distract your parents from your sadism with a little darndest thing saying] “Just, uh, burnin’ some calories! Ha ha!”

The Lockhorns, 12/17/25

One of the things The Lockhorns does well is make it very subtly clear from their facial expressions how much the various one-off ancillary characters are regretting their decision to interact with Leroy or Loretta. This guy, for instance? Does not want to be there at all, and they’re not hitting you over the head with it, but you can tell.

Blondie, 12/17/25

I love how surprised the saleswoman seems in panel two. “Wait, people are buying our novelty mugs ironically? This changes … everything!”

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Unsettling Friday

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Blondie, 12/12/25

Mr. Dithers is no doubt all too well acquainted with Dagwood’s relationship with food, so he’s no doubt well aware of how transgressive a statement he’s just made to his employee. Dagwood’s thing with food isn’t about sex — it’s much, much deeper — so fortunately for Dithers this doesn’t fall under sexual harassment regulations. Honestly, employment law doesn’t even have a name for what just happened here, but that doesn’t make it any less shocking.

Dennis the Menace, 12/12/25

“There can be no punishment greater than to no longer feel the gaze of God upon you. But if God knows that you will never transgress against His commandments, will He not inevitably look away?” is some pretty menacing theology, I have to admit.

Alice, 12/12/25

Hello, friends. Have you been looking for opinions about the new crowdfunding platforms? Well, I’ll tell you one place you shouldn’t look: the syndicated newspaper comic strip Alice. Alice doesn’t think about the new crowdfunding platforms. She doesn’t think about them at all!