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Blondie, 2/8/16

Welp, congratulations, Blondie! It’s only Monday and you’ve succeeded in thoroughly baffling and unsettling me. What could the nickname “Ol’ Stork Baby” possibly represent? Obviously it was foisted on this poor individual against their will, since Elmo’s use of it got him sent to detention. “Stork” might be meant to refer to someone as tall and gangly, and might be what a 75-year-old would think a child would say, but it’s the addition of “baby” that really throws me off. Did this unfortunate teacher not learn the basics of biological reproduction until later than socially acceptable? Did he or she proudly announce that they’d been delivered as an infant by the stork in their adolescent years, resulting in permanent derision? Is this some telling commentary on society’s treatment of sexuality: we’re too embarrassed to speak of it forthrightly, but will also shame and humiliate those who don’t understand it?

Pluggers, 2/8/16

Piece by piece, pluggers are being rebuilt. Better than before. They’re more machine than man-animal now. Soon they’ll be unstoppable.

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Panels from Mark Trail, 1/17/16

Wow, it sounds like these so-called fishermen are making a ton of money from animals that aren’t even fish! What a bunch of frauds! Sure glad Mark Trail is on the case to blow the lid off of these seafaring phonies.

Spider-Man, 1/17/16

Oh, look, it’s my favorite kind of industrial accident, right after the kind that produces “Oops! All Berries” Cap’n Crunch: the kind that accidentally results in a comic strip being uploaded without any black in it! This will be probably fixed by the time you read this, but this is what the strip looked like when I found it. The panels are strangely beautiful, and definitely 100% less annoying now that you can’t read any of the dialogue or figure out exactly what’s going on.

Panels from Blondie, 1/17/16

“You don’t understand, Blondie! It’s just cheap and physical with Herb! He’s only for when you’re not available! You’ve gotta believe me!”

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Blondie, 1/7/16

For someone who’s as long established a figure in the office social scene as Dagwood, he sure has a sad, desperate need to be liked.

Zits, 1/7/16

I haven’t bothered to talk about Zits in years, but now that 2016 heralds an edgy reboot for the strip, in which an involuntarily emancipated Jeremy is forced to live in his rickety Volkswagen Bus, I admit I’m intrigued.

Gasoline Alley, 1/7/16

Boog’s reign of saccharine, pro-scrapbooking terror is finally about to end, as his parents start making out and barely even notice when he’s eaten by a bear.