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Blondie, 3/29/23

I’ve always been a “work at home in my pajamas” guy rather than a “carpool” guy, but my understanding is that carpools that consist of the same people generally follow the same route every day, so I’m honestly not sure why Herb needs directions suddenly. I guess there could be a detour or something and this could end up like one of those ’80s/’90s exploitation thrillers (usually called something like DETOUR) where innocent middle-class types take a wrong turn into the wrong neighborhood and suddenly have to fight for their lives against the criminal element. That honestly seems more likely than, say, any of these losers somehow getting a new job that requires them to learn how to drive to another office building.

Dennis the Menace, 3/29/23

At least Blondie had that little detail to keep me interested in a strip that was basically a “ha ha, how about that Siri, amiright folks” joke. Today’s Dennis the Menace doesn’t even have that level of texture to it, it’s just “Alexa! It’s a thing that exists, that children know about!” Honestly, doing jokes about digital assistants are a mid-’10s thing, even syndicated newspaper comics should’ve moved on to jokes about generative AI by now.

Safe Havens, 3/29/23

Here’s Safe Havens, a strip I don’t think I’ve ever talked about before, but it’s about time travel and space travel and, uh, some other stuff, and say what you will about it (or don’t, I certainly haven’t) but at least it knows that the hot tech jokes in the year of our lord 2023 should be about generative AI.

The Lockhorns, 3/29/23

Oh, man, not to smugly say I told you so, but: If Loretta were posting a pic of their dinner on Facebook, that would be a sure sign the Lockhorns were boomers. A deliberately badly staged photo and a snarky, self-deprecating comment on Twitter? Gen X. A Leroy reaction vid captioned: “POV: you are feeding your husband inedible slop” on TikTok? Zoomers. But Loretta is gonna slap a filter on that plateful of brown goo, making it look like she took a picture of it with a Polaroid camera in 1977, and you know what that means: THE LOCKHORNS ARE MILLENNIALS.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/29/23

OH MY GOD HUGE MUD MOUNTAIN MURPHY NEWS EVERYBODY! He looks … like this now? I have literally no idea what aesthetic he’s trying to make happen here; I’m not sure how to map “Secret Service Agent” onto a musical genre and honestly wish Buck were here to rattle off the names of a bunch of arcane categories so I could get my bearings. Anyway, it’s obviously funny that Mud Mountain has made this stylistic change, but it’s much, much funnier that he’s doing it on a cruise. If it doesn’t work out, well, what happens in international waters isn’t binding, career-wise, right?

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Dustin, 3/18/23

A fun fact is that Dustin premiered in January 2010, at the low point of the Great Recession, when unemployment was at nearly 10% and entry-level jobs that paid a living wage were extremely hard to find, which makes its central proposition — that young people who move back in with their parents because are lazy pieces of shit — all the crueler in retrospect. With unemployment now at about a third of that, things are a little different, but you can’t blame Dustin for keeping track of how the world changes around his eternal 24-and-underemployed situation to see what the vibes might be like to an outside observer.

Blondie, 3/18/23

On top of everything else, that’s clearly just a crossword puzzle. Dagwood has finally lost it, I regret to inform you all.

Family Circus, 3/18/23

You might think that the “best part” would be the opportunity to spend time with a beloved grandparent! You’d only think that if you hadn’t met her, though.

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Marvin, 3/17/23

Most people would tell you that Marvin’s main innovation is that it’s a newspaper comic strip that’s mostly about peeing and pooping, but let’s not forget that it’s also about a whole family — three generations of people, plus pets — who simply do not like one another and would abandon one another for a better offer at the drop of a hat.

The Lockhorns, 3/17/23

I think we can all agree that Leroy is a fairly unpleasant person generally, and so I’ve always assumed that his coworkers spend as little time interacting with him as possible, which probably goes a long way towards explaining his perennial lack of professional success. This is probably the most attention any of them have ever paid to him, which no doubt makes the whole experience sting all the more.

Blondie, 3/17/23

I like that this guy just takes it as a given that, even in his own internal mindscape, Dagwood would not be smart or resourceful enough to escape from a leprechaun on his own initiative.