Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/9/19

Slylock, you fool! Count Weirdly has deliberately planted the false “sunbathing” factoid because he knows your mind will immediately latch onto it and you’ll reveal his new invention as a “fake,” lulling the Animal Kingdom into a false sense of complacency. As soon as the disappointed press leaves, he’ll start using the fully functional teleportation device for its real purpose: transporting clothed and armed soldiers from Australia, the last continent on Earth where humans still dominate. At last, H. sapiens will have its revenge!

Dennis the Menace, 6/9/19

Today’s Dennis the Menace is here to let us know, as if we couldn’t have guessed, that the Wilsons’ sex life isn’t that great.

Blondie, 6/9/19

I’m not going to engage much with this strip except to point out that a dog wedding with a cake shaped like a fire hydrant is the equivalent of a human wedding with a cake shaped like a toilet. Can you imagine a wedding cake shaped like a toilet? I can. In fact, I think I’ll be intrusively imagining it for a long time to come. Thanks for nothing, Blondie.

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 5/29/19

Hey, remember like two weeks ago when General Halftrack looked back on his career with a certain nostalgic glow? Well, apparently when he was abruptly and involuntarily confronted with his life history, he learned that it’s actually not so fun to contemplate. Ha ha, look at his face in the second panel! He wishes that bus smeared him all over the asphalt and put him out of his misery. I’m very excited because it’s only Wednesday and Beetle Bailey Misery Week is escalating rapidly; let’s see how sad it can get!

Blondie, 5/29/19

These are the things that Dagwood loves, in ascending order: his children; Elmo, who’s not his child but with whom he spends an inordinate amount of time; his wife; and sandwiches. Thus, the punchline to today’s strip is an act of sycophancy that borders on the excruciating.

Mary Worth, 5/29/19

“Remember the good old days, before computers, when you could just pick up a guy at his mother’s funeral? Now you gotta get on the internet or whatever and learn how to upload a picture. This country’s going right into the toilet!”

Post Content

Blondie, 5/26/19

Longtime joshreads dot com trufans know that one of my obsessions about the comic strip Blondie is that Dagwood and Blondie and their teenage children live in a house that, as near we can tell, doesn’t have a shower. We see the inside of their bathroom repeatedly (some might say too often for comfort), and we’ve never seen a shower head or shower curtain. We know that Dagwood prefers baths himself, but it seems bizarre for him to impose his lifestyle choices on his family, especially considering that adding a shower head wouldn’t prevent him from bathing in his preferred manner.

Anyway, today we learn that there is a second bathroom somewhere in the Bumstead residence! Is this where non-Dagwood family members shower, like normal people? And where is this other bathroom? We know that the tub-bathroom where today’s action takes place is on the second floor. Is the tub-bathroom a master bath? Is the more typical bathroom usually the one the kids used, but Blondie has had enough and finally just wants to take a shower today, god damn it? I’ll return to this topic once I finish my elaborate digital 3D model of the Bumstead house, which will rival the diagrams of the Overlook Hotel that the Kubrick obsessives of Room 237 came up with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/26/19

Good news, everyone! Any sense of dramatic tension that might’ve been created by this robbery has been dissipated in just four days, which has to be some kind of record. And the big resolution also reveals that nobody was ever in the slightest danger this whole time! What a relief!