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Crankshaft, 8/8/14

Good news, everybody! Despite the grim foreboding, this week’s Crankshaft food truck storyline has ended with smiles all around. Weird, blissed out smiles from everyone emerging from a fenced off zone in which the fully tricked out food trucks, each of which contains expensive kitchen equipment and represents somebody’s entire small business, rammed into each other repeatedly for the crowd’s amusement, until only one was still (barely) functional. “Pure carnage,” says Crankshaft, as if that were a … joke, or bit of wordplay, or something? Maybe one of the trucks was full of meat, meat that could have fed dozens of happy customers, meat that instead was ground into the muddy, oily earth. Or maybe just lots of drivers died in the conflagration. Who knows? Everyone sure seems happy, though!

Shoe, 8/8/14

Man, for someone who literally reads the comics every day for a living, there sure is some stuff I don’t pick up on. When I read today’s Shoe, for instance, I immediately thought, “Hey, how long has Shoe’s desk just been an overturned trashcan? Is that some commentary on the poor financial state of print newspapers?” Well, jokes on me, because Shoe’s trashcan-desk has been around for at least seven years. And really, how badly can the The Treetops Tattler-Tribune be doing, considering it operates in a market where people still call into the newspaper to find out what the weather is going to be like?

Six Chix, 8/8/14

Well, I guess you could have asked! Or maybe going to a restaurant so dedicated to meat consumption that they trot out live cows to your table is something noteworthy enough to be brought up in advance, I dunno. Certainly if your relationship has advanced to the point where you’re basically sitting in each other’s lap at dinner, you’d think the topic of dietary preferences would’ve come up.

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Heathcliff, 8/4/14

Let me start this long post about Heathcliff on a long-running blog about comic strips that I own and write by saying that I’m not crazy, OK? Obviously I know that the anthropomorphized animals in strips like this don’t act like their real-world counterparts. Heathcliff and his skunk associate, for instance, walk on their hind legs and contemplate exchanging money for manufactured goods. But the whole point, it seems to me, of using a very specific type of animal like a skunk in a gag is to exploit its skunk-nature for comic effect. And, you guys: the deal with skunks is not that they “smell bad”, in some generalized, shame-inducing way; it’s that they can spray foul-smelling fluid out of a special gland near their anus at attackers. Right? I mean if you just want an animal that smells bad in ways that gross everyone out, why not just have a really dirty cat? Or maybe … maybe … the point is not that the skunk actually smells bad, but that everyone is nervous around him, for smell reasons, and so his offer to buy all the deodorant is really performative, for Heathcliff’s benefit, so the word spreads that he knows about your odor-related concerns and it’s under control, OK? Honestly, I’d be willing to forgive a lot if some future Heathcliff depicted the skunk-character ostentatiously rubbing deodorant all around his anal region and aggressively shouting “ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?” at nobody in particular.

Crankshaft, 8/4/14

Oh, hey, it’s a new plotline in Crankshaft, and here, in the very first panel, you can see a brief glimmer of happiness! I think Pam’s supposed to be smiling? But by panel three, she’s already managed, with zero input from anyone else, to talk herself into Funkyverse-typical heavy-lidded depression. Not … the food truck rodeo! I dunno, I think of a gathering of food trucks in a public space when the weather’s nice to be a fun way to spend lunch, but I’m sure we’ll find out what’s wrong with it soon enough.

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Crankshaft, 7/31/14

Crankshaft is framed as the “fun” Funkyverse strip, but of course the infinitely dark singularity around which all matter in Funkyspace/Funkytime orbits absorbs fun like a hate-sponge. This leads to weird tonal mismatches in the strip in plots like the current courtroom drama. Crankshaft’s wildly unsafe grilling practices have been a mainstay of the strip for years, and while originally these plots were depicted as cheerful, cartoonish slapstick, over time they’ve slowly morphed into episodes that are genuinely terrifying for Crankshaft’s neighbors, family, and local first responders, who seem genuinely afraid that they might lose everything in a fire or be burned to death.

Now Crankshaft is on the jury of a man who’s actually been charged by the local legal apparatus with similar disregard for the safety of his neighbors, and of course his sympathy is fully with the accused. This seems to be written to be played for laughs, but today’s art, in which Crankshaft veers wildly from furious indignation to terrified cringing and his fellow jurors look at each other with genuine concern, makes it read more like a man alternately angry at the world’s rules and wracked with guilt over violating them. It’s definitely not “funny,” I’ll say that.

Dennis the Menace, 7/31/14

Speaking of inappropriately intense emotional displays, I want to point out that while Henry is merely cradling his face in his hands in mock despair, Dennis appears to be emitting actual tears, or at least copious amounts of sweat. Either he can’t go ten TV-free minutes without having a genuine meltdown or he’s really mastering emotional manipulation. Either option is plenty menacing.