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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/12/12

You know, I had always assumed that Hootin’ Holler was simply a community that was isolated from mainstream American life due to some combination of geography and poverty. But perhaps it really represents a voluntary intentional community of people who moved into the deep woods to avoid the omnipresent eyes of the modern security state? This of course makes even intracommunity relationships complex; the throwaway panels demonstrate the heightened expectations for privacy held by Holler residents. And now word has filtered in from the outside that the state’s advanced technology has rendered the protection offered by their isolation obsolete, which may precipitate a community crisis.

Apartment 3-G, 8/12/12

Ah ha, now the truth about Evan’s weird job interview stylings comes out! PRO TIP: If you are applying for a job because you have developed a crush on a lady who you saw profiled in a PR industry weekly e-mail newsletter, maybe don’t let her in on this until you’ve made yourself indispensable to her. By the way, Margo had an assistant for her (now defunct, apparently?) party-planning business; his name was Sam and he had to do demeaning things like reuse helium balloons and eventually he just sort of vanished, so, you know, watch yourself Evan.

Crankshaft, 8/12/12

Here’s a quick demonstration of the differences between the two Funkyverse strips. When characters in Funky Winkerbean want to spoil a perfectly good time at the county fair, they do so by dwelling on inchoate existential dread. When characters in Crankshaft do it, they do so by giving voice to intrusive and out-of-proportion anxiety about very specific crises, and by engaging in awful wordplay.

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Marvin, 7/22/12

This is not the first “people from TV appear in a Marvin strip, and that’s the punchline” Marvin — there was a Cesar Millan strip recently, and I’m sure there have been others. Maybe … maybe someone needs to tell Marvin that the fun thing about a celebrity cameo is that it involves the actual celebrity? And that this doesn’t apply when it’s just a drawing of a celebrity? I could make they guys from American Pickers show up at my house too, if all I had to do is draw them.

Crankshaft, 7/22/12

You young folk may not remember, but many years ago there was a Very Special Crankshaft storyline where it turned out that Crankshaft was illiterate. All his friends and family banded together to help him learn how to read and write. Bet they regret that now!

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Slylock Fox, 7/9/12

Because my brain doesn’t work the way one might want it to, I have a terrible time remembering my family’s birthdays without programming them into my phone’s calendar, but upon reading this strip I instantly remembered that it was the not the first Slylock Fox whose solution revolved around anteater toothlessness. At least this one’s an actual anteater! In a world of anthropomorphic animals, many of which are carnivores, I expect Slylock needs to resolve exactly this kind of dispute relatively frequently. “Waah, the birds ate my pet worms! Waaah, Cassandra Cat ate my sidekick!” This is what comes of overthrowing humanity, animal-rabble! Not the eating of other animals of course, but the ultimately unfulfillable sense that there ought to be some kind of justice to how it happens.

Shoe, 7/9/12

Shoe generally has its characters wildly overreact to punchlines with goggle eyes of horror, which makes the Perfesser’s numb, heavy-lidded stare in the second panel here all the sadder. “Yeah, I guess I should have expected that my attempt at serious emotional intimacy with a good friend — and my attempt to understand how other people find fulfillment in romantic relationships, something I’ve tried and failed at all my life — would be deflected with a dumb joke about HAW HAW AGING STRIKES TERROR INTO WOMEN’S HEARTS. Welp, back to silently dying inside!”

Spider-Man, 7/9/12

Speaking of facial expressions, it should have been obvious to everyone that Clown-9 is a crazed maniac bent on revenge against everyone who’s ever wronged him. Thus, I’m assuming that MJ’s look of shock in panel three is not a reaction to Peter’s suggestion that she might be on the target list, but is rather justified horror at the image in panel two of Peter making a sullen, hideous kissyface and jabbing a chunk of blackened meat at his lower lip.

Apartment 3-G, 7/9/12

I feel like I’ve been spending too much time dwelling on the weirdly off material in this storyline about attitudes towards and medical knowledge about childbirth, and not enough time discussing the fact that Tommie, Scott, and Nina are all wearing identical white shirts. So, Tommie, Scott, and Nina are wearing identical white shirts, everybody! Are they in a cult? Probably yes — specifically, a cult that practices human sacrifice via botched home births.

Crankshaft, 7/9/12

“Used to be you could make a gal cry by showing her your wang whenever you felt like it! Now you’ve gotta have one of them telephones you carry around with you, I guess.”