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Andy Capp, 6/2/26

Look, I don’t pretend to know everything about what life is like in working-class, industrial neighborhoods in Northern English cities. Do people go door-to-door selling prints of the 19th century Romantic artist who revolutionized landscape painting and inspired the Barbizon school? I mean, maybe they do. Who’s to say the yobs and louts who populate this strip don’t appreciate a lovely, bucolic landscape? I’m sitting my ass down and learning.

Crankshaft, 6/2/26

There was some kind of long-ago love triangle involving Lillian and this guy and her now-dead sister that was introduced at some point when I wasn’t reading the strip and frankly I’ve never really caught up on it, but I know a lot of my readers have very strong and negative feelings about the whole thing, so if you fall into that category, I just wanted to bring you the latest update on this gentleman: they’re putting him in a home, or possibly in prison.

Pickles, 6/2/26

“Also, they don’t really enjoy spending time with me!”

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Archie, 5/28/26

I think it’s very funny that Jughead is first forbidden from playing the drums in … his room, I suppose? … and then decides that the next good place to do it is in the living room right next to where his father is trying to read the paper. I don’t like the idea of Jughead as a musician generally — it requires dedication and the motivation to practice your craft, something that I simply don’t think is in line with his character — but I do appreciate that move.

Crankshaft, 5/28/26

Hey, remember last week when I said Crankshaft was going so far up its own narrative ass that it was at risk for tearing the fabric of the Funkyverse apart? Well, it’s happening. It’s happening! Ed’s about to get vaporized by a blast wave of Hawking radiation and I think that’s swell.

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Mary Worth, 5/23/26

I’ve given it a bit of thought and I’ve come to the conclusion that “The condo board agreed we can create a supplemental food supply for residents!” is the most insane way to say that you’ve gotten approval to plant a vegetable garden. “Our wise board recognizes that the Strait of Hormuz crisis will merely accelerate the ongoing collapse of our civilization, dependent as it is on cheap fuel to connect far-flung producers and consumers,” Mary says. “Soon we’ll require local sources of calories for those lucky enough to be inside the Charterstone walls. All hail the board!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/23/26

“And the attention’s never going to waver! I’ve already developed a new business plan that assumes that every day from now on will see as many customers as today, and I’ve taken out a massive loan to fund it.”

Crankshaft, 5/23/26

“Just imagine if I had tried building a strip around some old dipshits hanging around a diner talking in terrible puns to one another. Can you imagine how unreadable that would be?”