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Crock, 5/18/18

Since I started the week saying nice things about some legacy strips, I might as well end it the same way: I genuinely laughed at the intended joke in today’s Crock, of all things. On the unintended humor tip, I like the dark rings around Captain Preppie’s eyes; I’m assuming that’s just supposed to represent how furious he is at the indignities he’s suffering, but it kind of looks like these horny, crazed women have been punching him in the face, the better to strip his clothes off while he’s stunned from their blows.

Mary Worth, 5/18/18

Good news, everybody! Wilbur went to therapy once and now his cancelled column has been restored. I guess good things really do happen when you do the hard work on yourself!

Barney Google and Snuff Smith, 5/18/18

“And my supper! And my lonch tomorrow! And so on for the next several days! The nearest movie theater is a perilous journey, spanning many miles on foot down treacherous unpaved mountain roads!”

Shoe, 5/18/18

But when you ‘buy,’ you should jump right in without asking questions! (The content in today’s Shoe is presented in partnership with the National Automobile Dealers Association.)

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Crock, 1/28/18

This is another great example of how the top two “throwaway panels,” which don’t appear in all layouts and thus need to be somewhat disposable, can really add another dimension to a strip. Without them, today’s Crock is a goofy tale of how that diabolical Crock has decided to take care of the fort’s trash problem by airdropping the whole midden onto the hapless Lost Patrol in lieu of supplies. However, the vulture’s dialogue in the second panel of the top row reveals the awful truth about this so-called “trash and garbage”: it’s a mountain of corpses — French and insurgent, dead of combat or disease, all mingled together — and the Lost Patrol is about to an experience a nightmare beyond imagining.

Dennis the Menace, 1/28/18

The only person you’re menacing with that attitude is yourself, Dennis, since without a social medial presence you won’t be able to establish a personal brand! What are you thinking? (In other news, I’ve already risked my browser history to ascertain that PlayPal.com isn’t a fetish dating site, you’re welcome.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/28/18

“And it’ll be great to for Johnny to have grandparents, since we killed all of our parents for the insurance money years ago. Wait, did I say that part out loud?”

Six Chix, 1/28/18

Soooo, what you’re saying is that the cormorant is carrying a bag full of … flesh? Stretched out flesh already marked, ready to be grafted onto women as they sleep by the cormorant’s sharp, nimble beak

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Crock, 11/20/17

Aww, it looks like Otis’s mom has finally figured out that his best (only?) friend is a carrion-eating vulture! And you can tell she’s really trying. Her lids are heavy with disgust as she imagines the hungry bird flying home to his gore-encrusted home to feed on fresh corpses, but she isn’t saying anything to break up the friendship. That’s good parenting!

The Phantom, 11/20/17

Ooh, now we know which specific weirdos are on Walker’s table: messianic cultists! The main question raised by today’s too-artsy-by-half lettering: Is this beardy gent known to his devotees as “Savior 2” or “Savior Z”? Because those names have very different vibes. Savior 2 is sort of a “Hey kids, I’m just like Jesus, but the next one, for the modern age!” whereas Savior Z is like I AM THE END OF ALL THINGS, THIS WORLD WE BE CLEANSED IN INFINITE FIRE FOREVER