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Crock, 10/27/23

If, like me, you have constructed a professional life that requires you to read the syndicated newspaper comic strip Crock every day, you need to learn how to “make your own fun.” For instance, despite my usual attempts on this blog to humorously link Crock with the actual history of French colonialism in North Africa, I generally “hear” the dialogue in my mind in standard English. But what if these guys have been speaking in comical French accents this whole time? What if Crock pronounces the improbable name of the new man in the “computer section” as “vee roos”? That would definitely be funny, right? Or at least funnier than whatever else is going on here? Please, I need this.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/23

“Say,” the average Rex Morgan, M.D., reader is thinking to themselves, “now that this whole Rene storyline appears to be wrapping up, I’m left with a question: should I care about it, or about Rene as a person and motivator for events?” Here’s one Rex Morgan, M.D., character to give you the answer: no.

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Six Chix, 10/23/23

This is at least the second time that Six Chix has done a “ha ha, what if vampires got the blood they need to survive in very chill and non-scary ways” joke, and I’m going to go on the record as not really caring for it. Vampires are dangerous monsters who God has turned His back on, and they use their sexy charisma to lure us into complacency so they can violently drink our blood! The best case scenario for a vampire victime is a painful death, but it’s also possible that they can Turn you into one of them, another damned soul haunting the night and burning with a thirst that can never be truly slaked. If they can just order vials of blood on GrubHub or whatever it’s not fun anymore, and doing this joke so close to Halloween is frankly offensive.

Crock, 10/23/23

Speaking of the eternal torment of the undead, one of my least favorite running “jokes” in Crock is that there’s a live, talking chicken who is constantly being boiled in the fort’s stewpot, always suffering and never dying. This is a pretty baroque and grim bit for a newspaper comic strip; but don’t worry, deploying it doesn’t keep the Crock from its extreme shambolic laziness, as you’ll note that the chicken’s cook/torturer just kind of vanishes between panels one and two; changing the composition to accommodate all three figures would’ve simply been too taxing.

Shoe, 10/23/23

I love the Perfesser’s date’s heavy eyelids of ennui throughout this exchange. She has a truly odd and specific job, and when she first started out in the business, she thought of a fun little joke about it, but it’s been years now and even though she still feels obliged to trot it out … it just doesn’t hit like it used to, you know? She’s tired, you guys, she’s so tired.

Hi and Lois, 10/23/23

Is It Fun To Joke About Our Teen Son Being Horny? Opinions Differ!

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Gasoline Alley, 10/22/23

OK, I dunno, look, maybe weeks and weeks of talking bear bullshit have ground me down into submission, but I find these comical aliens in their over-the-top uniforms kind of charming? A little? They’re whimsical, but that whimsy is tempered by the fact that, as their commander makes clear in the first panel of the bottom row, they are very much going to die upon contact with Earth’s atmosphere and biome, which is wholly toxic to them.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/22/23

Ha ha, Rene’s only been in the police car for a few minutes and Buzzy and Mud are already writing him out of the Mirakle Method story! He’s never going to see a dime of the money they promised him! Mud hasn’t reformed, so the Mirakle Method is as fraudulent as Rene always thought, even though it worked on him, so maybe it actually does work; it’s confusing but I have to respect it.

Crock, 10/22/23

This one works on a couple levels. It’s about cactuses that fuck, but it’s also a metaphor about how ladies love a guy who shaves his dick. Comics really are an incredibly rich and expressive medium.