Beetle Bailey, 3/21/12
Amos Halftrack, aspirational onanist.
Judge Parker, 3/21/12
Nuzzling, not muzzling!
Blondie, 3/21/12
Dagwood Bumstead, Siri’s bitch.
Cuss Skunk, urban hero.
Mark Trail, 3/21/12
Stink Jacket saves the day.
— Uncle Lumpy
Apartment 3-G, 3/20/12
Ah, spring is here — and while Margo thinks it will take a brainload of potent lady-hormones to light up pregnant-but-not-feeling-it Nina, poor naïve Tommie thinks sunshine and blue skies alone will do the trick. I can’t wait to hear Lu Ann weigh in with a prescription for moonbeam sandwiches and unicorn juice.
Curtis, 3/20/12
Say, when is Nina due, anyway — and how will her pregnancy play out in strip time? With multiple plotlines, Apartment 3-G can at least dip in and out of the Nina ‘n’ Scott story — Rex Morgan, M.D. would be all-Nina-all-the-time until delivery or catatonic ennui sets in, whichever comes first. Let’s just all be thankful this isn’t Judge Parker, where time moves so slowly that pregnancy is effectively permanent, or Funky Winkerbean, where it’s invariably fatal.
Wait, did you hear something? I think I drifted off there for a minute.
Crankshaft, 3/20/12
Alas, no hormone, season, or diet can bring relief to Pam and Jeff Murdoch. No sooner do they acquire another noisy trinket to distract themselves from the gaping hole in their lives than the ‘hole opens his damn mouth to ruin it all again.
Gasoline Alley, 3/20/12
Kindhearted nitwit Rufus celebrates the equinox watching nightmare TV while starving himself to feed his clowder of ingrate cats.
Crock, 3/20/12
But it could be worse — it could be Crock. You can carve that in stone.
Just watch your fingers.
— Uncle Lumpy
Curtis, 3/2/12
Wow, so this is the moment when Gunk’s Flyspeck Island powers go from irritating to terrifying. “Have you ever seen dozens of feral cats devour a human being before, Curtis? They aren’t fast and mindless like piraña. The whole process is quite messy, but, ultimately, very thorough. We needn’t stick around for the entire thing.”
Apartment 3-G, 3/2/12
God damn it, Nina, you’ve made it quite clear to anyone who would listen that you don’t really care that much about having a baby, so when are you going to start caring about having a baby? Look at the way you’re dressed! Is that collar supposed to be ironic? Your baby won’t appreciate your hipster New York affectations when s/he’s an adult and looking at pictures of you when you’re pregnant! You’re dressing for two, now, so get used to us not caring about your opinions!
Gil Thorp, 3/2/12
Oh, thank God, Gil’s latest dumb moral crusade has finally hit the point where he gets to make a principled moral stand that achieves nothing other than irritating everybody and screwing up a potential championship. This is pretty much what he lives for, so presumably we’ve just hit the season’s climax. Personally, I’m more interested in those sheets of loose-leaf paper that seem to be giving Marty Moon his half-assed inside scoop. I’m guessing they’re what Marty gets when he demands “a printout of some of those internet blogs with the rumors” from whatever poor journalism student at the local community college drew the short straw and has to serve as his intern this semester.
Wizard of Id, 3/2/12
Ha ha, the drunken court jester used to have a dog that he loved, but now it’s dead! It’s his heartbreaking sigh in the first panel that really sells the hilarity here.