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Curtis, 2/27/08 and 3/5/08

What? He can’t take it off? No mystery there: just the sad, predictable end of another “magical Gunk” story arc. But what’s with Gunk’s eyes in panel four of today’s strip? They seem . . . oddly . . . normal. Is this the end of magical Gunk? It’s a mystery!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/5/08

OK, looking for moral coherence in Rex Morgan isn’t likely to pay off, but let’s give it a shot. Niki is apologizing: why? Alternatives are: a) he did something wrong, b) his efforts turned out badly, c) he wants to bond with Rex. Did he do something wrong? He rightly refused a thief’s offer of the bank’s money, but later took possession of some of it himself. Maybe a little bad — he intended to keep the bank’s money — but c’mon. And he nobly turned down a reward. OK, did his efforts turn out badly? Rex, not Niki, burned the damned money! Finally, why would Niki want to bond with this dangerous, sanctimonious idiot? It’s a mystery!

Mark Trail, 3/5/08

OK, giving English usage advice to Mark Trail is likely to fall on deaf fists, but the fact that Luke’s operation might save him for prison isn’t ironic — nobody, including the author, is saying one thing and meaning another. But what is it? Karma? Cosmic justice? It’s a mystery!

– Uncle Lumpy

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Fate, monstrous and empty — a whirling, malevolent wheel;
Well-being is vain, and always fades to nothing – how you plague me!

What goes around comes around in the Sunday funnies:

For Better or for Worse, 3/2/08

Years from now — perhaps at her wedding — you’ll wonder how she turned out like this: the string of pointless relationships she shed so easily. The marriage to some pasty nonentity, based on no more than habit in the vain hope affection would follow. The grandchild — no kin of yours — whimpering alone in the dark.

Remember this night. Your daughter does.

Marvin, 3/2/08

A week of “Laffs” from Mom griping about the trials of pregnancy; now it’s payback time for Baby. Although this “people typing jokes into computers” theme is getting awfully tired, the nasal syringe on the desk is a good sign: after years of poop jokes, Marvin is finally branching out into snot.

Curtis, 3/2/08

O Curtis, consider your life’s path — listen to Barry! Sure, it may amuse you now to mock these good ladies as they try to bring some simple joy into their lives and others’. But consider your future! You could end up like old Cedrick there, clowning to coax one more rattling wheeze out of poor Harry’s failing lungs. Or worse, like some assistant comic blogger hurling slurs at hard-working cartoonists who only . . . who . . . .

Oh, crap.

– Uncle Lumpy

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Panels from Apartment 3-G, 2/10/08

Margo knows that a big crowd is best primed to appreciate fine art when it’s very, very drunk.

Panels from Curtis, 2/10/08

Actual conversation I had just moments ago with my wife, who went to a Quaker college:

Me: Hey, sweetie, did you know that Curtis learned about Quakers in school today?

Her: Why was Curtis in school today? It’s the weekend.

Me: [Sound of mind being completely blown]

Panel from Spider-Man, 2/10/08

THIS JUST IN: Spider-Man is not, in fact, an elephant.