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Hi and Lois, 2/16/10

Maybe it’s because I’m not in charge of a tiny human who will be pooping in his or her pants for the next couple of years, but there’s something I find fairly unpleasant about seeing a little baby thought-ballooning “A bathtub is bigger than a toilet!” I mean, yes, it’s possible that we’re just seeing the development of Trixie’s basic understanding of how objects can be related to each other in terms of size, but something about her cheerfulness, combined with her well-known diaper problems, just screams “that bathtub is full of poop!” to me.

Also worthy of note is the fact that the Flagstons, like the Bumsteads, have an anachronistic bathtub that is totally lacking in shower facilities of any kind. I suppose this means it’s only used for the kids, so, you know, crap in it all you want, I guess.

Dennis the Menace, 2/16/10

It appears that Dennis is slowly, slowly inching his way towards modernity. For instance, instead of wearing red overalls and a blue and black striped shirt as his only outfit, he’s now added red pants and a blue and black striped shirt to his wardrobe selections. And instead of hitting baseballs through Mr. Wilson’s window or harassing Margaret with frogs, he’s staring at his doctor with dead, soulless eyes and ordering her to inject herself with God knows what.

Family Circus, 2/16/10

I like Dolly’s shifty eyes in this panel. “The fool! Doesn’t he know that they’re always watching, and judging? ALWAYS WATCHING. ALWAYS JUDGING. Mustn’t let on that I know … musn’t let on…”

Luann, 2/16/10

You’ll notice that Mr. Fogarty doesn’t even bother asking Luann if she can sew. He’s had her in his class for years, so he’s well aware that she has no useful skills of any kind.

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Beetle Bailey, 2/4/10

OK, I’ll admit it: today’s unspeakably perverse Beetle Bailey, in which Sarge’s leering sex maniac of a dog takes him to some kind of canine fetish club, made me laugh. (I’m assuming the “fire plug dancing” bit means that their target audience is into watersports.) I think what makes this strip for me is Sarge’s look of wide-eyed innocence giving way to growing shock in the second panel. So many things he will learn tonight, about dogs and what they like to smell and/or pee on!

Gil Thorp, 2/4/10

I was going to make some sort of snide comment about how every sentence in panels two and three could be construed as a double entendre, but then I caught site of Gil’s sweater vest, and now can think about nothing but said sweater vest. Do you think it’s in Mudlark team colors? That would be ever so keen!

Mary Worth, 2/4/10

“It must be the same guy! Such an unusual name, after all!”

Dawn better keep track of her father while she thought-balloons, as Wilbur has snuck away to hunch over his computer in the background and go all crazy social-networking style. Watch out, Dawn! Maybe he’ll discover that daughter he always wanted!

Dennis the Menace, 2/4/10

Too bad you won’t be alive to see it, old man! Maybe Dennis’ll bring the little tykes over to dance on your grave!

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Family Circus, 1/24/10

I’m pretty sure that the panels here have been both mislabelled and put in the wrong order. Our story begins in panel two, which is the moment when Mommy realizes that she needs to leave her kiddie-vomit-smeared life behind her, forever. In panel one, she wakes up alone in a single bed in some fleabag hotel, grateful to be forever free of her suffocating family. Among the responsibilities she’s left behind is hygeine, and in panel three her fellow elevator passengers take disapproving note of her noticable body odor. To her, that funk smells like freedom, sweet freedom.

Beetle Bailey, 1/24/10

The reasons why the soldiers of Camp Swampy would want to stand by and cheer as their seargant suffers physical pain should be obvious. But what’s with the rigamarole with his being ordered into the dentist chair? Does it serve any purpose other than to turn the perfectly servicable daily strip represented by the bottom row of panels into a Sunday strip? My guess is that odor of Sarge’s decaying teeth and putrefying gums was becoming so noticeable and distracting that his dental health had to be improved in the interest of maintaining unit cohesion.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/24/10

“Yeah, you kids today and your moral ambiguity! In our days, heroes were heroic, like Speedball, who’s named after an awesome combination of heroin and cocaine!”

Panels from Dennis the Menace, 1/24/10

Sorry, Dennis, the only way these lines might qualify as “menacing” would be if afterwards you headed down to the graveyard to find some well preserved corpse bits to piece together.

Panels from Rex Morgan, M.D., and Judge Parker, 1/24/10

Fun fact that newcomers to the soap opera comic scene might not know: Judge Parker and Rex Morgan have different artists, but are both written by the same guy, Woody Wilson. I’m assuming that his scripts for both strips today included prominent use of the phrase “ass crack.”