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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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Mostly children

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Blondie, 10/7/23

As a rule, I try to keep my contact with young people to an absolute minimum, so maybe I’m wrong, but it’s not really normal for a kid to wander around the neighborhood in full football getup, helmet and pads and ball included, right? I mean, it’s the year 2023, children are hypersupervised and they don’t wander around the neighborhood and talk to non-relative adults period, so I guess we have to understand that this strip just takes place in a world of visual signification that gives us information about the characters and setting but isn’t meant to be interpreted literally. Like, for instance, it’s important that we know that Elmo is on the team, so this whole discourse is really more self-loathing than insulting.

Dennis the Menace, 10/7/23

You know, I often make fun of Dennis not being menacing, or claim that he’s being menacing in ways that aren’t the intended reading of the text, but today’s panel is just Dennis being a mean little shit to his long-suffering neighbor and I’m here for it. Not sure what scenario I like better: that Dennis walked into the Wilsons’ house already holding that plate and chewing on cake, smacking his lips and talking about how delicious it is, or if he wheedled Mrs. Wilson into making it for him and has spent the last half hour watching Mr. Wilson squirm.

Hi and Lois, 10/7/23

Man, look how happy Thirsty is! It’s fun and cool to go through life as a perpetually buzzed liar, and Hi looks sad because he knows he doesn’t have the guts to do it.

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Tuesday quickies

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Mary Worth, 10/3/23

“I believe otherwise and, I can paint a fuller picture for you”? This isn’t an episode of Columbo, just say you got his address from 23AndMe or something. Already feeling tired of this lady’s whole deal, to be honest.

Dennis the Menace, 10/3/23

Normally I disapprove of Dennis leveling his menacing powers at the education system, but his teacher today has clearly just gotten very high and is now trying to explain the concept of infinity to her students by adding one to numbers over and over again. Dennis is right, this exercise is never going to stop!

Six Chix, 10/3/23

Oh, sure, Tuesday’s Six Chik is all “I’m a goth, I love fall and spooky season.” But are you prepared to fully commit to the bit, death-wise?

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Honestly hoping it’s just a slightly smaller version of Keith

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Mary Worth, 10/1/23

OK, I had a whole thing ready to go here about how the Sunday strips represent Mary’s self-aggrandizing memories/interpretations of events but the daily strips represent reality, because earlier this week Mary nosily asked Keith whether he had any family, yet in today’s version of the sequence we see him offering that information freely. But those thoughts were immediately blasted from my mind by the revelation that Keith has a SECRET (maybe even secret to him???) CHILD who has managed to track him down after only a few days in his new home. Maybe because Mary was tweeting about him nonstop on the official Charterstone Twitter account that she set up after Wilbur taught her to use social media? Anyway, I hope everyone is going to be curious and not judgmental about Keith’s unorthodox family situation!

Hi and Lois, 10/1/23

In 2011, the Huffington Post published an article entitled “What time does the Superbowl start?” which became legendary among those of us who toil in the mines of internet content for its naked understanding that internet publishing was about finding the answers to things people were looking for in the next ten seconds, not crafting clever headlines or providing in-depth information or whatever. It’s a milestone that probably passed unnoticed to most normies, even though we now live in a world mostly spawned by the same engine, where, for instance, physical restaurants have names like “Thai Food Near Me.” Anyway, more than a decade later, it seems that Hi and Lois is trying to get into the search engine optimization game, sadly unaware that Google does not index text in image files.

Dennis the Menace, 10/1/23

Oh, Henry! It seems that you’ve achieved every good thing in your life only as an act of revenge against those who doubted you