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Oh, boy, we’re past the innovators and now the hardcore legacy strips have apparently decided “FINE, it looks like this whole coronavirus pandemic isn’t going to just go away on its own, let’s TALK about it, I guess.” How’d they do?

Hagar the Horrible, 6/28/20

Hagar the Horrible is mostly oblique, and indeed the throwaway panels seem to be statement of purpose to keep the strip coronavirus-free. I genuinely enjoy the choice here for Dr. Zook to throw his bag in frustration, sending his medical equipment scattering across Hagar’s bed, and was definitely not anticipating the vampiric twist!

Shoe, 6/28/20

It seems that birds can’t contract the coronavirus, so today’s strip gives us an interesting glimpse into the nature of the Shoe bird-men’s society: though they are immune to humanity’s diseases, they are apparently still dependent on us for televised entertainment.

Dennis the Menace, 6/28/20

The elderly like the Wilsons are at particular risk from COVID-19, so I really appreciate George’s total commitment to his bit, by which I mean he identifies a global pandemic that’s killed hundreds of thousands of people and crippled the world economy with the five-year-old kid next door who he just fucking hates.

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The Lockhorns, 6/25/20

Yes, Leroy is absolutely the sort of guy who would get involved in some high-anger, low-stakes battle on Reddit in the wee hours of the morning, and Loretta is absolutely the sort of woman who would check up on her husband’s Reddit account to find out what cyber-bullshit he’s been up to that she could make fun of. This was almost a Lockhorns panel that was true to its characters and also accurate about a fairly contemporary aspect of online life. Fortunately, just so as not to completely flabbergast everyone by pulling that off, the panel also includes the sentence “I see where you were a Reddit thread,” which is either a typo or a confession of not actually understanding what Reddit is or how it works, thus restoring balance to the universe.

Dennis the Menace, 6/25/20

At age five, Dennis is already falling prey to obsessive and unrealistic body image standards! The true menace is society.

Six Chix, 6/25/20

Oh man, see that lady there in the foreground? I hear her casseroles are devastating. That’s … a joke? I guess?

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The Lockhorns, 6/12/20

One thing I never get tired of reminding my fellow Olds who have become accustomed to using “millennial” as a synonym for “teen” is that the youngest millennials are adults in their mid-20s at this point and the oldest ones are middle-aged fogies in their late 30s. And while it’s never clear exactly how old Leroy and Loretta are supposed to be, it’s fully possible that they are, in fact, millennials. Today’s joke, then, was clearly inevitable.

Six Chix, 6/12/20

Honestly, how long have you been a cat owner that you haven’t already viewed cat food as pre-poop?

Dennis the Menace, 6/12/20

Dennis is so solipsistic that he believes that everyone is either trying to communicate with him or waiting for him to communicate with them, with no other options. Extremely menacing.