Post Content

Gil Thorp, 7/28/25

There are two types of Gil Thorp summers: the wacky ones, with plotlines like “Kaz punches his way to a bodyguard job for the Rock ‘n’ Roll Carole King” or “Gil gets involved with a pro wrestler who might have dementia or that might just be his latest angle” or “a sadistic warden forces juvenile delinquents to battle each other on the gridiron for their freedom,” and the boring ones, like “let’s just get a head start on football season or whatever.” Obviously you know which kind I prefer, and while it’s early yet, I do think “Coach Ex Mrs. Coach Thorp takes their son to Berlin, where he’s vlogging mean stuff about his sibling while dressed like one of the guys from The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou for some reason” has potential. Who is he vlogging at, by the way? Where’s the camera? Are we holding the camera? In some high-end French literary theory sense, are we the camera?

Dick Tracy, 7/28/25

Look, when you come to the conference room to present the evidence you’ve been gathering on the latest case to Dick Tracy, you’d best come correct, and by “correct” I mean “with the logo of the company or government agency you’ve been assigned to investigate printed, in color, on the manila envelope you use to hold the documents you’ve compiled about said company or government agency.”

B.C., 7/28/25

You’d think that when the POV “camera” pulls back to give you a wider view of the gym in the final panel, you’d see a pull-up bar, to reinforce the punchline. You’d be wrong, though! It’s hard to draw a pull-up bar outside, honestly, so these weights are going to have to do.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/28/25

“So you’re saying you’re not very observant and are pretty easy to trick, huh? Interesting. Just filing that away. Might be useful information at some point.”

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 7/13/25

It seems that the Dick Tracy time travel plot is now over … and the Dick Tracy ray gun plot has begun! This is one Dick should have a better handle on, right? Because it’s a ray gun, but it’s still a gun, which is the sort of thing Dick likes. Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what the “This ain’t the county morgue” line is supposed to mean. Maybe in the wake of the corpsenapping incident earlier this year “county morgue” has become Neo-Chicago municipal employee slang for any facility that’s easy to break into by night.

Beetle Bailey, 7/13/25

Ha ha, we’re all familiar with the Beetle Bailey running gag that we never see Beetle’s eyes. But what do you suppose they look like under there? Well, it’s now strip canon that they’re an eldritch horror beyond imagination, a window into demonic madness. Sarge was either struck dead on the spot or will be gibbering and unresponsive in an insane asylum for the rest of his life.

Hi and Lois, 7/13/25

You know I like to make jokes about how the Flagstons are depressed, but that’s mostly about the parents. The twins are way too young to be this anhedonic and it’s bumming me out!

Post Content

Rhymes With Orange, 7/11/25

No, see, GoFundMe is the website you use for crowdfunding when you have an unexpected and dire financial emergency of some sort, as is the case here. Kickstarter is the website you use when you’re crowdfunding and you plan to produce something with the money you collect. Since this woman has already eaten and/or drunk whatever was in the minibar, the only possibilities are pretty dire.

Slylock Fox, 7/11/25

Wow, Max Mouse is really excited to finally be the subject of the “How To Draw” feature, huh? “Draw me, children!” he seems to be saying. “Draw me! Make thousands, nay, millions of Max Mouses, one for every home in the land! A Max army! Each Max may be small, but our numbers will overwhelm our enemies!”

Dick Tracy, 7/11/25

God damn it, Dick, that should be “If they got through the time portal, who knows when they ended up.” This is why we don’t give you more time travel stories!