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Marvin, 10/16/25

Lately, when I bring up Marvin as an example of a strip that loves talking about peeing and pooping, some people in the comments will try to gaslight me about it, claiming the strip really hasn’t done much by way of toilet humor since 2023 or so. Well, look at this! Bitsy the dog is like, “I love to defecate and I want to do more of it,” and that’s the punchline! Don’t try to deny what I can see with my own eyes!

Mary Worth, 10/16/25

Have you enjoyed the last 87 years of “Mary Worth meddles gently in the lives of her friends and acquaintances?” Well, that’s over now. Get ready for “Mary Worth has an unshakeable belief that many people are capable of ESP, and has a new mission to find them and Awaken the Gift inside them.”

Dustin, 10/16/25

Meg, this is no time to crack wise! Your brother has experienced a serious head injury and appears to be in some distress!

Archie, 10/16/25

Sorry, Dilton, I’m going to be straight with you: put the glasses back on. You don’t look very good at all without them! Don’t give in to peer pressure!

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Luann, 9/11/25

Many years ago, when I was a TA in grad school, I had a very precocious undergraduate student who used to come to office hours to hang out and shoot the shit with me. The final exam was three essay questions, and I graded them blind without looking at the name on the front until I was done, and I was disappointed to see that he had completely biffed one of the questions, and it was enough to drag down the A+ he had going into the final to an A-. But if I was disappointed, he was enraged, and after grades came out, he tracked down my home phone number and yelled at me about this, telling me at one point that his father said sometimes teachers give a bad grade to students they felt intellectually intimidated by, and because I had at that point already quit grad school, I got to just laugh at him and hang up. Anyway, I don’t really have the energy to go into the dynamic here between Bernice and [squints] “Alan,” but mostly what I’m trying to say is that if any student of mine included an unsolicited 12-minute animated graphic as part of their assignment, they would not be getting five bonus points, and it wouldn’t be because of my intellectual envy, I tell you what.

Dustin, 9/11/25

Wait, is Dustin’s dad saying he’s good at sex, or not good at sex? Or is he saying that having kids despite not having had sex very often or for very long is evidence that he’s good at sex, because I do not think that claim holds up to scrutiny. In conclusion, I hate this strip a lot, because it’s difficult to parse and in the process of attempting to do so I have to think about Dustin’s parents having sex, which — and I’m sure you, being in the same boat as I am now, agree with me on this point — is a profoundly unpleasant experience, for me, and, I assume, for them.

Family Circus, 9/11/25

God, I love Jeffy’s facial expression here. His brain isn’t hungry at all! He doesn’t know anything, but the important thing is that he doesn’t want to know anything, and he doesn’t care that he doesn’t want to know anything. He is nothing but true to himself.

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Six Chix, 8/26/25

Look, in the Tuesday Chixiverse, people have sex with sandwiches and pizza, so I wouldn’t be too quick to dismiss out of hand anything anyone suggested to me about how reproduction works there.

Hi and Lois, 8/26/25

I really love Lois’s face in the second panel here. She’s like, “Oh shit! Oh fuck! They’re right! This is why I never sell any houses!”

Dustin, 8/26/25

FINE, I’LL ADMIT IT, THEY FINALLY MADE A DUSTIN THAT I LAUGHED AT, I’M NOT MADE OF STONE