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Dustin, 10/12/19

I’ve decided that the key to enjoying Dustin is to ignore its ostensible “hook” as a comic about the generational friction between millennials and boomers, because in that frame it comes off as an annoying exercise in shitting on young people in general; instead, I’m just going to treat it as the story of one particular millennial, the title character, who pretty much sucks ass. With that mindset, today’s strip, in which an grown adult is playing catch with a child to whom he’s not related, and then his mother comes by and humiliates him in front of that child, is particularly enjoyable.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/12/19

You ever notice how in the original, funny Funky Winkerbean strips, there’s lots of silly, overblown conflict, but in the current, depressing iteration of the strip, everyone is for the most part very tender with one another, maybe passive aggressive at worst? I guess living with the spectre of death looming over you at all times really does improve your behavior.

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Mark Trail, 9/14/19

“Shh, Cherry, shhh, everything will be OK … I promise you,” Mark said, gently but firmly removing the Cherry-unit’s head so her system would deactivate and he could safely store her. “No need to worry her,” he thought. “I’ll just reassemble her when I get back from Nepal and she’ll never even realize I was gone.”

Dustin, 9/14/19

Hot tip for dude cartoonists: if you ever have the urge to do a strip about how “ha ha, women sure sometimes just SLATHER ON THE MAKEUP, amiright”, just be sure your lady characters are the ones doing the talking! Then it’ll all be on the up and up. We all know how catty women are, right? Mrr-ow!

The Phantom, 9/14/19

Hey, if you’ve been reading The Phantom for a while and you ever wondered “Hmm, would someone raised from birth to be a gun-toting warrior who goes on to suffer incredible physical and psychological trauma on mission after mission end up with, like, PTSD, maybe,” today’s dream sequence has some answers for you!

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Judge Parker, 9/9/19

Oh, man, remember when Judge Parker Senior confessed on TV that he did a crime, and then some other mean judge — probably because judges actively breaking the law is a sore spot for him for some reason, maybe because it makes all judges look bad or maybe he just doesn’t like a two-tier justice system for the rich and poor, who can say — put Judge Parker Senior in jail? Well, it looks like our gang is about to do another crime to get Judge Parker Senior out of jail, and it is extremely key that current Judge Randy Parker not know any of the details. Definitely everything he’s heard up to this point would lead him to believe that Sam’s plan is on the up and up! He won’t be going to jail, no sir!

Dustin, 9/9/19

Nice to see that Dustin is taking a day off from its usual shtick of slamming on millennials, or even its occasional shtick of slamming on baby boomers, to cover a subject we can all enjoy: TV commercials. You ever notice how many commercials are on TV, folks? Millennials don’t, because they use their parents logins to watch Netflix and HBO Go on their laptops in their rooms, but that’s neither here nor there.

Pluggers, 9/9/19

You’re a plugger if you need to hide coupons from your spouse because you know his love of terrible processed foods combined with his love of a bargain could literally kill him this week.