Archive: Family Circus

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Dick Tracy, 8/13/25

“Oh heh heh heh you’re absolutely right, boss. Say, I have a correction of my own: ‘I counted 211 names, dick!'”

Curtis, 8/13/25

OK, you can say “turd” in Curtis but not “toilet.” Noted.

Slylock Fox, 8/13/25

1) Pluto, dammit!

Phantom, 8/13/25

Patrolwoman Dai has her eyes on the prize
With the wool firmly pulled over her colonel’s eyes
She is skilled in all manner of social control
To advance her career in the Jungle Patrol!

So that General Chuma had better watch out
‘Cause there isn’t an ethical code she won’t flout!
He could find himself chained in his mine’s deepest hole
To help Dai make lieutenant at Jungle Patrol!

It’s a cinch that Ms. Dai will now rise through the ranks,
Passing Hawa and Kay and the rest of those skanks
‘Til she stands within reach of her ultimate goal:
The Unknown Commander of Jungle Patrol!


—Uncle Lumpy

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Family Circus, 8/8/25

The whole gimmick of “NOT ME” is that the Keane Kids say “not me!” when confronted with naughty things that they have, in fact, done. Depicting him as an actual ghost-demon tormenting Big Daddy Keane while all four of the kids are fully visible and doing other things is 100% evidence that somehow the Family Circus has, against all odds, lost the plot.

Mary Worth, 8/8/25

You might recall that the climax of the original Olive story was that Mary saved the lass from drowning, and she’s frankly been chasing that high ever since. Olive may have since taken swimming lessons, but panel two has made it clear that Mary has been Googling “new york area beaches with rip currents” because she knows she needs to up her game.

B.C., 8/8/25

Big Monogamy has clearly decided that the best way to keep polyamory out of the mainstream is by messaging in syndicated newspaper comic strips, so, uh, I guess get used to keeping track of your various partners in an elaborate Google Docs spreadsheet, everybody!

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Family Circus, 7/22/25

I frankly am not a fan of the smug looks on Jeffy and Big Daddy Keane’s faces here. Oh, you think it’s funny to contemplate how terrifying it might be to be trapped on a boat with your primary prey animals, and if you fail to keep clear of them you risk not just your death but the complete extermination of your species? I bet Noah’s family had some pretty comical encounters with wolves and grizzly bears and such, but I don’t see you laffing it up about those.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/22/25

There’s a debate to be had over whether it’s acceptable to use a joke you saw in an email forward or Facebook meme in the nationally syndicated newspaper comic strip you’re being paid to create, and whether the fact that the joke is bird-related is significant in a strip where many of the characters are themselves birds. However, we already had that debate four months ago, when Mother Goose and Grimm ran this exact same punchline. They redrew the art, which is … something, I guess?

Beetle Bailey, 7/22/25

Don’t worry, folks. If America is invaded, we’ll be quickly defended by our crack division of … bed troops? Oh dear.

Mary Worth, 7/22/25

Is Mary copping a feel in that first panel? Is Ed going in for a “soul handshake”? What on Earth is happening