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Marvin, 5/7/23

Like Hagar the Horrible, Marvin hasn’t exactly introduced a ton of new characters over in recent years. I’m pretty sure “Marty” is new, though. Marty! The guy Marvin’s dad refuses to humiliate himself in front of! As opposed to, you know, all the other characters, where he has absolutely no shame about it. Anyway, not sure how much mileage we can actually get out of that dynamic, so wisely they didn’t bother putting the effort into drawing Marty. You’ll just have to use your imagination, I guess!

Family Circus, 5/7/23

Big Daddy Keane! You think your old age is going to be unpleasant without the kids, but have you considered that it might just feel that way because your future self has chosen to sit in an extremely uncomfortable-looking chair? Get a nice recliner, and have it shipped to your new house, the one that you don’t tell the kids the address to, it’ll be great, trust me.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/7/23

“Because I’m gonna need something to poop in when I need an excuse to not sing ‘Muddy Boots’! That’s right, Mud Mountain is back, baby!”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/3/23

You know, the story of Rene is a true tragedy, and not just because he tried and failed to kill a late-middle-aged man, who then further humiliated him by risking his own life to save him from the sea. No, I’m talking about the fact that Rene does not love himself enough to see himself as anything other than a crook. He really did teach Sarah about art, before she got amnesia! He was a kind and supportive mentor to Galexia, his new-age grift partner! And it seems like whatever mumbo jumbo he came up with for his Augustus Mirakle persona helped Mud really move past some of his many, many personality problems. Truly, he has the power to help and to heal, if he’d only allow himself feel his own capacity for good.

Family Circus, 5/3/23

Jesus, look at how smug these two are at pulling off one of the dumbest wordplay act-outs the world’s ever seen. Thank God they usually despise each other so they don’t team up on bullshit like this more often. I hate it.

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Hi and Lois, 4/14/23

“I mean, look at these drips! None of them are charismatic or even vaguely attractive, and they’re already in high school and yet have failed to break 1,000 followers on any platform. We’re falling behind our peer nations! America needs an influencer moonshot if we have any hope of keeping up!”

Shoe, 4/14/23

“Ha ha, get it? Because of your many anxieties, which might be amusing for other people to watch you talk about? I’ve read through the HIPAA documentation and I didn’t see anything in there that says it applies to birds.”

Family Circus, 4/14/23

You notice this guy isn’t asking this about any of the other Keane Kids. “He sure is staring pretty intently at that bug … that’s probably curiosity, right?”