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Family Circus, 6/5/08

A discussion about the nature of eternity, set against a blank, featureless void: behold the beginning of the transformation of the Family Circus into Existential Despair Comics.

Mark Trail, 6/5/08

“No! When Kelly took my pictures, she made me do things and touched me and it made me feel funny and bad! I MUST PROTECT THE ANIMALS!”

Gil Thorp, 6/5/08

“I mean, he’s still a total douche, so by all means carry on with the assault; I just can’t stand to see a savage beatdown conducted under false pretenses. It cheapens it, you know?”

Spider-Man, 6/5/08

“That’s my wife! The only thing she cares about more than my health is money, and the things you can buy with money.”

Pluggers, 6/5/08

Oh man, that plume of noxious smoke is just the delicious icing on the “fuck you, hippies”-flavored cake.

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Family Circus, 6/1/08

The Keane kids represent all that is wrong with the youth of today, and, by extension, with society as a whole.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/1/08

Snuffy Smith is almost unfathomably lazy.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/1/08

Funky Winkerbean sneers at bourgeois notions like “punchlines.”

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Funky Winkerbean, 5/13/08

If I’m remembering correctly, the Tragically Ironic Hearing Loss storyline that led to Harry Dinkle’s retirement took place before the decade-long timejump. Since his constant mopey presence around the house has been driving his wife up the wall since day one, she’s no doubt well and truly insane by now. This may explain why she’s harassing a school board official about her personal problems, or why she feels a need to refer to her husband by his full name, including middle initial, in casual conversation. As Harriet’s already admitted that she’s crazy, I hope the school board president is desperately pressing the panic button under his desk, before she turns violent.

Mark Trail, 5/13/08

We all know that Mark Trail only cares about humans to the extent that they threaten wildlife habitat or get punched by Mark, but even by the standards of this strip the handling of little Madeline’s “condition” is shockingly bonkers. Has anyone involved in the production of this strip encountered the modern medical system in any way, shape, or form? What the hell kind of doctor looks at a comatose little girl, scratches his chin thoughtfully, and then writes PUPPY half-legibly on his prescription pad? The kind that gets generous kickbacks from the American Kennel Club, that’s what kind.

Blondie, 5/13/08

Some clever Photoshopper needs to change the dialog in this strip so that Elmo and his towheaded little friend are simply demanding money from Dagwood and threatening to beat his legs with that baseball bat if he doesn’t comply. It would explain his typical but still odd lope in the third panel.

Family Circus, 5/13/08

“But then, most paper money has been up people’s noses, so it’s kind of a mixed bag.”