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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/9/20

Say what you will about Snuffy Smith, but this is a strip that respects its own world-building. It has been long established that, while Hootin’ Holler’s denizens may engage in a certain amount of chicken-based barter with one another, and occasionally pay for potions from unlicensed apothecary Granny Creeps, Silas’s general store is the only place in town where money is exchanged for legitimate goods and services in the manner in which we flatlanders are accustomed. Does it seem weird to order pizzas from such an establishment? Maybe, but any Snuffy trufan knows it would be even weirder if we pretended that Hootin’ Holler had a local Domino’s or some such.

Family Circus, 12/9/20

The question of “If our religion is the only way to salvation, what happened to everyone who never heard about our religion because they died before it started or reached their part of the world?” is old and widespread enough that it has a fancy theological name, “The Fate of the Unlearned.” Still, part of the fun of the Family Circus is seeing kids say the darnedest things as they begin the encounter the problems of the adult world, and indeed I did actually chuckle to myself at seeing Billy look at that picture and think “Gee, it’s sad these cavemen never got a visit from Santa! Also, they’re probably in hell now.”

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Blondie, 11/20/20

I’m trying very hard to imagine what sort of elementary school curriculum might include the concept of a “horn of plenty”? An art history lesson on how a once commonplace object evolved into a standardized icon over the centuries, and has now become an almost entirely abstract symbol with no grounding in anybody’s day-to-day life, would be very interesting to me, though maybe a little heady for eight-year-olds. Meanwhile, what do you think is the most disturbing/hilarious part of Dagwood’s horn of plenty? A lotta people are going to pick the cooked lobster, which obviously isn’t going to keep very long unrefrigerated, but let’s not sleep on the hamburger that’s just kind of sitting on the table in front of everything else.

Slylock Fox, 11/20/20

You’re probably wondering: What relationship does this entirely mundane domestic scene have to the Slylock Fox world of sapient animal dominance? Well, my guess is that we’re seeing the early post-animalpocalypse period, when the remaining pockets of human survivors have been defeated and confined to restricted zones, only allowed out to forage for subsistence at strictly defined times. This lady’s family is too hungry to wait to get this month’s provisions in the house.

Family Circus, 11/20/20

Wow, looks like Ma and Pa Keane finally gave into BIG GOVERNMENT’S DESPOTIC FIRE CODES and put some smoke alarms in the house, probably because someone from CPS threatened to put their children into foster care if they didn’t, and the kids seemed a little too into the idea.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/19/20

Fellas! Has this ever happened to you? You’re talking to your lady, who circumstances have forced you to live apart from, and it seems like the convo might be headed to a little dirty talk, but no, all of the sudden it’s all “oh my god so many people died today” and “I’m never going to be able to forget about this time, it’s so awful” and blah blah blah. You know who would never trouble you with tales of pandemic carnage and his emotional reaction to it? Rex. That guy absolutely could not give less of a shit about whether his patients live or die. I mean, he wouldn’t do phone sex with you either, but at least there’d be no downer stuff.

The Phantom, 11/19/20

The action in our new Phantom storyline begins with our hero just punching the crap out of a Rhodian border guard mostly unprovoked, and you know who’s surprised but, in the balance, pleased? Karl Marx.

Family Circus, 11/19/20

“Also our house is enveloped in the Bone-Chilling Depthless Ultradark. I hate it!”