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Funky Winkerbean, 3/23/21

Real Funkyheads, which include both non-ironic fans of Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft and those of us who feel compelled to read both strips every day, possibly due to a curse placed on one of our ancestors who offended a cave-witch, know that there is one iron law of Funkyverse time, which is that Crankshaft takes place ten years in Funky Winkerbean’s past. It wasn’t always like that, of course, but after Lisa died Funky Winkerbean jumped ahead ten years to allow Les time to come to terms with that, emotionally (lol), whereas Crankshaft didn’t. This time disjunction (disFunktion?) has been exploited for narrative effect multiple times, the most recent being just last summer, when a Crankshaft-era character mused that he’d love to visit the setting of his favorite silent movie, and then simultaneously (but ten years later) did just that over in Funky Winkerbean. (Naturally, achieving this longtime dream almost resulted in his death.)

But wait! Remember a few weeks ago, in Crankshaft, when the organist died and Lillian resisted taking over as her replacement? Well, they put an ad in the classifieds for a new organist, and since virtually nobody reads the classifieds anymore, the only person who answered was … Harry Dinkle! Over in Funky Winkerbean! Which is … not ten years in the future anymore, I guess? Even thought Crankshaft is as full as vim and vigor as ever over in Crankshaft (if occasionally glued to the furniture) but is a wizened husk in Funky Winkerbean? Anyway, they’ve been building this Dinkle crossover up for like a week now and every day I’ve been forced to contemplate the question of whether I care about this flagrant casting aside of established Funkyverse chronology, and I’ve finally decided that I do! I do and I feel compelled to blog about it! This too is no doubt part of that sinister crone’s ancient curse, under which my whole family line has suffered for so many generations.

Dick Tracy, 3/23/22

Speaking of convoluted comics plots, I’ve never quite gotten a handle on what Pouch’s whole deal has been over the course of this current storyline. He’s thought-ballooning a recap for us to kick off the week, and I still don’t understand it, but I do appreciate the effort.

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Funky Winkerbean, 3/13/21

Well, the best we can say about this comical misunderstanding plot is that it at least wrapped up quickly! On the minus side, though, the misunderstanding was that Mopey Pete used “seeing someone” a shorthand for going to an eye doctor and getting glasses, which is … not English as it is generally spoken! I had guessed that the “someone” in question was going to be a psychotherapist, but this is frankly much dumber. They didn’t even commit to the bit and make it wordplay around “seeing”! Also, the upshot of all this is that glasses make Jess horny and she and Darrin are gonna bone, right there in the office, in the middle of teh workday. So I think we can agree that the overall rating of this Funky Winkerbean plotline is negative, just like all the other ones.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/13/21

Conflict? In a Rex Morgan storyline? Maybe Sarah’s imagination is more powerful than I thought.

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Beetle Bailey, 3/10/21

I generally don’t put too much stock into Beetle Bailey facial expressions — like, for instance, today I assume that Private Blips here is sporting Private Blips Clip Art Face #5 and isn’t supposed be expressing any specific emotion. But I would like to think that she’s experiencing a moment of genuine wonder because, after thinking about a question she’d never really dwelled on before, she’s finally realized what sort of person she wants to be: a person who marries and then divorces men for their money. Self-knowledge can be difficult to obtain, but is ultimately rewarding!

Shoe, 3/10/21

Speaking of over-interpreting facial expressions, I’m hoping the Perfesser’s wide, shocked eyes come before Biz’s explanation, because he was briefly worried that the old bird-man was trapped in some kind of time loop, reaching his milestone 100th year each day, then being reset by 24 hours while he sleeps so he can experience it all over again when he wakes up the next morning, like running on an eternal treadmill on the precipice of death.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/10/21

Hey, did you enjoy the Funky Winkerbean plot where Cindy was convinced Mason was cheating on her, for no real reason, because women be jealous, amiright? No? Well, I have some bad news for you about Jess, Darrin, and some sitcom-style misunderstood overheard conversations!