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Funky Winkerbean, 1/26/21

“Man,” thought Harry Dinkle, “I remember back in the day, these conferences used to be fun! People had a sense of humor, liked to joke around. Now they’re a bunch of stick-in-the-muds who’ll bite your head off for no reason. Also, totally unrelated, it used to be a lot easier to find someone who had cocaine.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 1/26/21

Strips like Mother Goose and Grimm really veer back and forth between “These characters are basically humans who happen to look like animals” and “These characters are animals with animal-like traits,” and I want to make clear that I fully recognize that this is in fact part of the fun of the strip, not a “goof” or a “mistake” or whatever. Still, I think the veering back and forth can sometimes veer into unintentionally awkward territory, like today, when the joke is supposed to be “Ha ha, Attila is a character in this strip who talks and thinks like a person but is also a cat,” but the execution, especially the whisper and look of panic on the sales lady’s face, really gives off a strong “please help me escape from this abusive relationship” vibe.

Dennis the Menace, 1/26/21

Speaking of which, I don’t usually look at a Dennis the Menace punchline and say “Jeez, I hope this is a sex thing,” but for the sake of Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, I sincerely hope this is a sex thing.

Pluggers, 1/26/21

Fun fact for those of us rapidly aging into the plugger demographic: the “More Cowbell” sketch first aired in 2000! Can you imagine! Anyway, a better caption here would be “It’s been about 20 years since pluggers have been able to stay awake late enough to watch SNL.”

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 1/17/21

Here it is, folks: an extremely rare Slylock Fox mystery where the accused isn’t guilty. Having proven her innocence with a little elementary ratiocination, Slylock can now move on to more difficult questions, like what exactly the shop manager’s deal is, making wild accusations against a random woman who just stepped through the door to dry off. Is the shop failing financially and he’s hoping to sue this aristocrat to plug the hole? Do he and Lady Lynx have some bad blood or ugly romantic history? Is he just psychologically damaged and lashing out for kicks, looking to use Slylock’s usual laser-focus on finding people guilty as a tool in his sick game? Whatever the answer, we’ll need more advanced tools than raindrop-noticing to figure it out.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/17/21

Oh, you say you can’t handle any more terrible wordplay punchlines in Funkyverse strips, huh? Well, what if we did a strip … without any wordplay at all, and also without a punchline? Would you like that better? Oh, you would? You’d find it kind of confusing but still preferable overall? Well, uh, we’ll take a note of that, thanks for the feedback. Anyway, enjoy today’s strip, it really seems like it’d be up your alley!

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Funky Winkerbean, 1/14/21

Hey, everyone, remember this baffling Funky Winkerbean joke from August of 2019? Well, I do! Because I’ve been doing this blog for fifteen plus years and that’s just how my brain functions now. When it comes to people I’ve been introduced to several times, I am definitely not going to remember their names, and when it comes to keys or the case for my glasses or my glasses themselves or any number of other small objects necessary for my everyday life, I am definitely not going to remember where exactly in the house I left them. But Funky Winkerbean, the title character of Funky Winkerbean, doing a wildly inappropriate and context-free Captain Kirk imitation at his hapless optometrist? Instant and immediate recall, folks! Anyway, clearly the optometrist hasn’t forgotten this either, and good on him for fighting back. Maybe Funky can be defeated after all, if we all just stand up to him!

Dick Tracy, 1/14/21

I regret to inform you that this hippie-driven, drug-crazed Dick Tracy storyline has devolved into a low-speed footchase for possession of a set of balloons, for reasons that are not clear to me but also not compelling enough for me to seek out more information about the matter. I’ll bring you more details on how this situation develops if events warrant, which they almost certainly won’t.

Gil Thorp, 1/14/21

“It’s inspiring how he half-asses two things simultaneously. Coach Thorp can only half-ass one thing at any given time!”