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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/25

WHO IS THIS MAN, AND WHY IS HE IN THE CROWD? I dunno. Probably he’s the person who was responsible for the stalker guy dying somehow is my guess, what with his cryptic but ominous thought-ballooning. Actually, with his unassuming demeanor and stealthy observational methods, this guy seems like he’s something of a stalker himself. Send a stalker to catch — and possibly kill — a stalker, that’s what I always say, and it looks like I’ve been proven right once again.

Gil Thorp, 4/11/25

A spectre is haunting Milford — the spectre of “Pop,” the beloved dead coach who was somehow even worse than Gil at coaching. Note the “Turn off the lights when you leave!” sign Gil left on the wall: he doesn’t want people seeing the ghost, because he knows that will inevitably lead to the ghost becoming the latest in the parade of unpaid Milford coaching assistants, like bitter janitor Steve Luhm and fake Negro League star Clambake, except dead, which is probably against school policy in some way.

Garfield, 4/11/25

Liz, that’s very much a sandwich. Like, I don’t know what the Paws, Inc., brain trust thinks veggie lasagna with tofu, cheese, and kale looks like, but I’m here to tell them that it pretty much looks like lasagna. There was no need for them to resort to putting clip art of a leaf on top of clip art of a sandwich to convey this idea. They could’ve just put clip art of a leaf on top of clip art of a pan of lasagna! I refuse to believe that Paws, Inc., doesn’t have very easy access to clip art of a pan of lasagna!

Dennis the Menace, 4/11/25

This body positivity pep talk is honestly one of the least menacing things I’ve ever seen! Except for the part where Dennis is in Mr. Wilson’s bathroom while Mr. Wilson is trying to weigh himself, I guess. That part’s pretty worrisome. I know we’ve just inured ourselves to that kind of thing but it’s still not great.

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Garfield, 3/21/25

Not sure if the implication here is that flies go into some kind of suspended animation over the winter upon being frozen then reawaken in the spring (only to be eaten by spiders), or if this particular spider has been stashing fly corpses outside all winter and can now enjoy eating them after the spring thaw. Either one is honestly pretty distasteful, and also scientifically inaccurate!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/21/25

Remember, while Tater is the Smifs’ biological child, Jughaid is their nephew, which makes it all the more disturbing that he refers to the family mule as “Aunt Sukey.” Are we to understand that he considers Sukey to be a sibling to one of his caregivers? Or, worse, do Sukey, Snuffy, and Loweezy constitute a throuple?

Curtis, 3/21/25

I’m sorry, Greg, but your tween son asking to use your credit card to buy an umbrella as a gift for his wealthy crush is a perfectly insane scenario! What child would even think of such a thing? The fact that it’s an expensive fancy English umbrella is the least of what’s going on here! I declare this whole situation to be not very reasonable at all, actually.

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Oh my gosh it’s the last week of August, and if kids haven’t already gone back to whatever passes for school in 2021, they’re thinking hard about it. Let’s join in …

Baby Blues, 8/30/21

“Kids don’t want to go to school, and their parents can’t wait to get rid of them” is a trope usually found in family comic strips. But once Wanda finds out Darryl is working from home this fall, they’ll be smack in the middle of Lockhorns country.

Crankshaft, 8/30/21

Ed Crankshaft’s clients avoid him at the cost of their own convenience and their children’s futures. Checks out.

Gil Thorp, 8/30/21

Gil Thorp kicks off the school year with sports-team carwashes on every Milford streetcorner. Mom Claxton seems to think these have something to do with getting your car cleaned, but Tevin knows the score. And as an avid consumer of such services myself, I can pass along a tip: “Psst, Tevin—Girls’ water polo.”

Rhymes with Orange, 8/30/21

Yikes, who would have expected Rhymes with Orange to take the baton from Dick Tracy in the “Ironic Deaths” relay? Those sprinkles are just twisting the knife.

Garfield, 8/30/21

Oh, come ON! What do you think this is, Heathcliff?

— Uncle Lumpy