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Shoe, 11/13/25

“Plus I forgot we live in a tree! Like where am I even supposed to go? The end of that branch is maybe fifteen feet away, tops!”

Garfield, 11/13/25

Garfield is of course the title character of the comic strip Garfield, making him by far the most important being in his own narrative universe. You might think it’s depraved that these foodstuffs are begging him to not restrain his appetites, but being consumed by such a divine figure would surely be the apex of their existence.

Pluggers, 11/13/25

I feel like this is the most at odds I’ve ever seen a Pluggers caption and cartoon be. Look at that bear-man’s face! He doesn’t think bacon is the only critical part of a BLT. He thinks he’s made a huge mistake!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/13/25

Look, after years of reading some not-so-great comic strips, I think I’ve given up on demanding that everyone recognize that the comics are a visual medium. But I think we can at least all agree that the comics are not an audible medium and write jokes for them accordingly.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/25

So the big news that Augie delivered over pad thai is that not one but two publishers are interested in his manuscript and are bidding up the price! Is this the sort of thing that will finally get him riled up enough to have sex with his girlfriend? Well, no, apparently not. Sorry, Summer! He’s got papers to grade, and anyway Thai food does a number on his tummy, so you’re dodging a bullet, really.

Mary Worth, 11/2/25

“It sometimes feels like the good is getting better … and the bad is getting worse. But children like Olive give me hope that their psychic powers will turn the tide in the imminent final apocalyptic confrontation between the evil and the righteous.”

“Ha ha, so true! But through it all, one thing is for sure … our love is here to stay. That is for sure, right, Mary? Because you still haven’t changed your relationship status on Facebook.”

Garfield, 11/2/25

THINGS GARFIELD IS NOT AFRAID OF: The shades of the dead, terrifying the living by demonstrating that the veil between this world and the next is much thinner than you might believe

THINGS GARFIELD IS AFRAID OF: Running out of ice cream

THINGS GARFIELD SHOULD BE AFRAID OF: Having his flesh torn from his body and hung from a tree, where his soul remains trapped and in agony within a somehow still living husk

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/23/25

Last we saw of Truck and Cody, they had agreed to treat each other as honorary father and son and it was all very heartwarming. But here we are several days into Truck and Wanda’s wedding storyline and no sign of Cody! You know who did snag a coveted invite to this shindig, though, is Shorty and the Beanpole. Thank God Truck took my advice and didn’t have them perform, but still. Can you imagine what a dork-ass middle school these two twerps go to where they’re earning “so many points” by spending an evening with a bunch of adult roots country Americana Ameripolitan superfans?

Garfield, 9/23/25

I guess I just have to accept that “Garfield watches a vaguely animal-themed TV channel” is just part of the reality of the Garfiverse now, but I don’t have to like it. What kind of cruel management runs this network? They know he’s a cat, he put that right in his entry, so why are they giving him things cats hate? Are they anti-cat? Is this why they were showing pro-dog content the last time he was watching? Garfield, have some self-respect in your media consumption habits!

Pluggers, 9/23/25

“Pluggers are vain about their appearance and that drives them to buy a variety of personal grooming products.” Come on now. Are you even listening to yourself. You should be embarrassed by this. Embarrassed.