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Garfield, 9/7/04

Oh, that Garfield! With the laziness and the obesity and the … um … hey hey. One of the more opaque aspects of this cat’s personality is the arbitrariness of his bloodthirstiness. He smashes spiders with a particular savagery; but, while he doesn’t seem to like mice very much, he can’t be bothered to do them any harm. My cat has the opposite tendencies — she’s killed mice, but insects don’t interest her — so maybe this is a realistic insight into cat psychology. Or maybe it’s incredibly lazy writing. You make the call.

Incidentally, I think one of the things that Americans hold against the French is their aura of cultural snobbery. In the interest of promoting international friendship, I’d like to point out that, during my recent trip to Paris, ads for Garfield: The Movie (or, as they call it there, Garfield: Le Film) were literally everywhere. If we take density of advertising as an indication of importance (and I can see no reason why we shouldn’t), then this movie is considered to be the most important film release there since Truffaut’s The 400 Blows.

And yes, that is the emaciated face of an Olsen twin peeking in from the left.

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Garfield, 8/3/04

There’s so much evidence of Garfield’s artistic, intellectual, and moral laziness, but I think this is enough to give you a picture. If Garfield can’t talk (and he can’t) why is he cupping his hand by the side of his (not open) mouth to shout his withering insult after Jon?

Well, smart guy? Why?

Also, why does he hate Mondays so much if he doesn’t have a job?

OK, my work is done here. I hope that Bill Murray now regrets his decision on how to follow up his Oscar-nominated Lost in Translation role.