Archive: Gasoline Alley

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Family Circus, 2/18/24

“Oh, hey, does my toddler have a bunch of friends who I don’t know, who somehow got into the house without me having noticed? Sure, that makes sense. I can sort of visualize what they might look like. I’m definitely giving him extra cookies.”

Gasoline Alley, 2/18/24

So it turns out that the news story that the characters of Gasoline Alley have been reacting to with universal horror and disgust is that they’re going to incorporate cicada protein into bananas. And they’re right to strongly reject this! It’s very gross.

Crock, 2/18/24

Look, not to sound like a crazy libertine degenerate or anything, but I think it’s OK to say that most newspaper comics readers have always been adults, that basically no kids are reading newspaper comics anymore, and that it ought to be OK for them to use the word “cocaine.”

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Shoe, 2/16/24

I was about to start this post with “Sorry I’m the Perfeser facial expression parser now,” but why should I apologize for that? You, my faithful readers, have specifically chosen to point your browser to josh reads dot com, the Comics Curmudgeon, or have perhaps even paid to receive post from that domain via email, so surely you of all people want the facial expressions of a clinically depressed cartoon bird man explicated to you, in a curmudgeonly way. Anyway, today’s strip is about how the Perfesser, in addition to being very depressed, is an alcoholic. You can tell because he looks like he wants to die in the first panel but after downing a tumbler of liquor in the second, he looks like he’s on top of the world. It won’t last!

Gasoline Alley, 2/16/24

We still don’t know what the shocking news in Gasoline Alley is, but we’ve heard characters talking a lot about how shocking and disturbing it is, and now Walt is going on a hunger strike, so I’m assuming it’s something like “LOCAL VET OF WORLD WAR I STILL ALIVE, GOVERNMENT SCIENTISTS AIM TO HARVEST HIS BLOOD TO CREATE IMMORTALITY SERUM”

Marvin, 2/16/24

“Our readers love it when we talk about Marvin pissing. Love it! But like all fetishists, they always need to escalate. What they want to see now is Marvin being pissed on. There’s nothing that the millions of sickos who read Marvin want more than to think about a toddler who’s simply covered in dog piss” –the Marvin creative team, who must be stopped, by the intervention of the U.S. military special forces if necessary

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Gasoline Alley, 2/12/24

Good (?) news, everybody: Slim didn’t freeze to death in his car, and it turns out that the supposed “love note” his wife found was from his granddaughter, so everything’s fine! Or … is it? The newspaper and TV are telling them something unbelievable. Probably something about how the martyred Abraham Lincoln’s memory is being used to promote a sale on sofa beds or Toyotas or something, as panel two hints.

Family Circus, 2/12/24

A friend of mine had a kid who used to just describe strangers to them in public, e.g., “You’re bald,” “You’re short,” etc., and when my friend told her she couldn’t do that because it was rude, she just started looking people in the eye and saying “I’m not allowed to name you.” Anyway, most of the darnedest thing saying in the Family Circus is pretty stupid, but “you have a beard but you just have a face” is the sort of genuinely off-putting thing a child Jeffy’s age might actually say and I frankly think this strip should do more like it.

Shoe, 2/12/24

It’s good to see the Perfesser has finally realized he doesn’t have any loved ones, not Skyler or anyone else, who care enough about him to plan or pay for his funeral, so if he doesn’t want to just get dumped in the river, he’s got to put something together himself. Will tacos be enough to get his various vague acquaintances, like Roz and the guy who fixes his car, to show up? Only one way to find out, though I guess he’ll never really know for sure.