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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/26/20

Well, it looks like we’re taking a trip through Retconned Memory Lane, where Melissa Claridge, a recurring character who had appeared in the strip for decades, including as recently as 2012, has now been whittled down to a spectral presence who manifested herself exactly once, to browbeat Rex into forming a heterosexual pair-bond with the last woman with whom he had any sustained interaction, and then vanished into the ether. Next up, apparently: remember the beloved running bit where people just gave Rex and June free stuff for no good reason? Well it’s happening again!

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 7/26/20

I genuinely love today’s Hagar throwaway panels, in which Hagar essentially orders Lucky Eddie to clamber down a sheer cliff face in order to get the two of them some beers. Eddie’s dubious facial expression really makes it for me.

Panels from Gasoline Alley, 7/26/20

“Also, a hedge fund bought the bankrupt company that owned The Gazette and a bunch of other daily papers in mid-sized cities, and the new executives immediately laid off half the reporters and paid themselves big bonuses, but it’s probably the Little Orphan Annie thing that you’re noticing, sure.”

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Baby Blues, 6/29/20

I don’t want you think that I’m constantly raging against Marvin’s incessant piss and shit jokes is because I’m against bathroom humor per se. It’s the “incessant” part that really gets me; of course some judiciously applied poop humor is an important part of any comic strip with child characters. Today’s Baby Blues genuinely made me laugh, for instance! I particularly like the expression on the dog’s face in panel two. He just wanted to poop on his walk like he always does, safe in the assumption that his owner would clean it up, and now he’s embarrassed! He never asked to be part of this!

Gasoline Alley, 6/29/20

You know what didn’t make me laugh? Today’s Gasoline Alley, which is about desperate homeless people breaking into circus animals’ cages to eat their food! I’m not even going to bother describing the plotline we’re in the middle of here, because it doesn’t actually provide any context for today’s strip, which, I can’t emphasize enough, is about people so poor and hungry that they need to eat circus animal feed to survive, Jesus Christ.

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Mary Worth, 5/28/20

I am dying at Mary saying it’s always OK to love someone … or something … presumably to set the groundwork for her next romantic meddle in Dawn’s life. “Dear, once Jared inevitably dumps you, have considered loving something that … isn’t a person? Like a dog, or a tree, or a bridge. Or an abstract concept! Dawn, an abstract concept could never leave you! A dog, now … well, let’s not take any chances.”

Gasoline Alley, 5/28/20

Ahh, thought Walt Wallet, finally. It had been a long century, to be sure. His bones were tired. So tired. But the process he had put into motion in the trenches of World War I, which eventually catapulted America to a global dominance uniquely dependent on fossil fuels, was finally bearing fruit. Sure, the consequences would be terrible a few decades after he was gone, but now, at long last, he felt warm enough.