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The Phantom, 7/30/26

The question of how an elected civilian government can keep control of its own security services is as old as democracy itself, and you have to imagine the issue is a delicate one in Bangalla, a relatively young post-colonial republic where the main paramilitary answers to a dude who lives in a cave and has much of the country believing he’s a ghost. Still, President Luaga is doing his best, letting the Ghost Who Could Probably Do A Coup If He Wanted know that he’s very disappointed about this whole “leave a supervillain in an open-air cage for years where it would be very easy for drones to free him” situation by glowering meaningfully during a Zoom call.

Six Chix, 7/30/26

Now, I’m not a doctor, but I am a comics blogger with literally decades of experience, and I can tell you that in both these scenarios that guy has Xes for eyes, which means he’s dead. Dead! Don’t worry, doctors, you don’t need to trouble yourselves, go about your business.

Gearhead Gertie, 7/30/26

I was going to do a joke about how all this time Gertie has yearned to be part of a throuple, and that the “3” t-shirts she wears constantly aren’t just about Dale Earnhardt, but I’m sorry, my heart’s not in it. Look at her face, free of any hint of guile or eroticism. She simply has done the minimum amount of mental processing necessary to respond — “husband not happy with wife? solution: husband get new wife” — while 99% of her brainpower continues to focus on watching and thinking about NASCAR, as per usual.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/26

The scam twins have decided to avenge their Uncle Rene by scamming the Morgans, despite the fact that he specifically told them not to, and have been staking out the Morgan house in order to plan their next scam move. Mainly what they’ve learned is that the Morgans are incredibly boring, which, no shit! Have you noticed that they’re barely in their own comic anymore? That’s because they’re even less interesting than whatever Buck or Auggie or Mud Mountain Murphy are up to. Do you know how uninteresting you have to be to make that happen?

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Gearhead Gertie, 7/16/26

Really love Gertie’s gobsmacked look in the top panel here. Sure, she’s been dutifully putting away cash for retirement for her whole life. But what was it all for exactly? What exactly should she be spending her money on? There’s an open world of possibilities that’s almost too vast to get her head around! That’s why mere seconds later her brain obviously completely short-circuited and this whole narrative was replaced by NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE

Beetle Bailey, 7/16/26

I’m glad that the panels here get a thought balloon treatment showing that this whole alien encounter was all a dream of Sarge’s. Otherwise readers of the comic strip Beetle Bailey, where nothing outside of the experience of everyday real life ever happens, might be confused and terrified!

Slylock Fox, 7/16/26

Ha ha, wow! 1,728 words! That’s amazing, for a parakeet! Hey, quick question though, what the fuck is the deal with this giant dog sitting on the couch like a person and why does the lady sitting next to him have a facial expression that makes it look like she’s never seen him before in her life and only just now noticed he was there

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B.C., 4/30/26

I guess I hadn’t really given it a ton of thought, but before today, if asked to describe the relationships between the various character species of B.C., like the humans and mid-sized animals and the ants, I would’ve described them as operating on different planes or scales of existence, largely unaware of each other’s sapience. The idea that the anteater, say, would stick his tongue into an anthill not merely driven by instinct to find food but fully aware that he was devouring alive a group of children who had come together to learn outdoor survival skills and experience fellowship is a deeply upsetting one. But it turns out that’s the reality of this disturbing universe.

Gearhead Gertie, 4/30/26

You can tell that this guy has been Gertie’s neighbor for years. He isn’t just saying “Hey! What the heck? Why are you ramming into my riding mower with your riding mower?” Instead, by necessity he’s embarked on a journey of self-education, learning all sorts of NASCAR minutiae simply to understand this old lady’s actions and motivations.

Mark Trail, 4/30/26

DAMN YOU TRIXIE!!! STOP ENTRANCING THE HORNY OLD MEN OF THE COMICS WITH YOUR AI-ENHANCED CLEAVAGE