Archive: Gearhead Gertie

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B.C., 4/30/26

I guess I hadn’t really given it a ton of thought, but before today, if asked to describe the relationships between the various character species of B.C., like the humans and mid-sized animals and the ants, I would’ve described them as operating on different planes or scales of existence, largely unaware of each other’s sapience. The idea that the anteater, say, would stick his tongue into an anthill not merely driven by instinct to find food but fully aware that he was devouring alive a group of children who had come together to learn outdoor survival skills and experience fellowship is a deeply upsetting one. But it turns out that’s the reality of this disturbing universe.

Gearhead Gertie, 4/30/26

You can tell that this guy has been Gertie’s neighbor for years. He isn’t just saying “Hey! What the heck? Why are you ramming into my riding mower with your riding mower?” Instead, by necessity he’s embarked on a journey of self-education, learning all sorts of NASCAR minutiae simply to understand this old lady’s actions and motivations.

Mark Trail, 4/30/26

DAMN YOU TRIXIE!!! STOP ENTRANCING THE HORNY OLD MEN OF THE COMICS WITH YOUR AI-ENHANCED CLEAVAGE

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Gearhead Gertie, 4/23/26

At first glance, Gearhead Gertie seems like a comic about NASCAR, but it isn’t, not really. It’s actually about one woman’s wildly over-the-top relationship to NASCAR, which is a different thing entirely. For instance, imagine an all-too-possible future where oil exports through the Strait of Hormuz are blocked or significantly curtailed indefinitely. Surely the resulting energy shock would have a big impact on NASCAR, a sport entirely dependent on gasoline. But the strip doesn’t even grapple with those implications. Instead, the only thing that matters is how high gas prices would immediately affect Gertie and her tireless quest to consume and enjoy NASCAR content. Why, what if she couldn’t afford to drive to a race? That would be comical indeed. The idea that anything could possibly change the sport itself is as foreign to Gertie as it is irrelevant to the strip that bears her name.

Andy Capp, 4/23/26

You hear a lot of online chatter about how England is a crime-ridden hellhole these days or whatever, but I dunno. Obviously Andy is responsible for a certain amount of antisocial behavior, but most of it boils down to borrowing money from acquaintances and spending it on beer instead of repaying them or his landlord, and any country where that guy is “suspect no. 1” is probably doing pretty well, actually.

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Mary Worth, 3/19/26

Say what you will about the evil gangs that are keeping “Trixie” captive in a Cambodian compound, but you have to respect that they let their enslaved workers customize their laptop’s UI. Going to a no-distraction, all-text screen for chatting with a mark really helps you get into the zone, you know? Like you can get into your character’s headspace and try to figure out what she might say that will ring true and also separate your victim from his money. Unfortunately, “Trixie” seems to have botched it: Harvey’s facial expression looks less like “Oh no! I must hurry to the nearest Western Union, post-haste!” and more “Hmm … devastating injury … perhaps a lifetime of impaired mobility … this is not aligning with my acrobatic sex plans for when we meet up … who else is out there on this app, I wonder?”

Gearhead Gertie, 3/19/26

Look, I don’t want to say that there’s only so many jokes you can make in a recurring comic panel that is committed to only doing jokes about NASCAR. I’m just saying that today we got to “You know what can interfere with your enjoyment of NASCAR? Your neighbor’s leaf blower. What if there was someone who loved NASCAR so much … that she did something about it,” which, honestly, having typed that out, I actually think is pretty good. I hope we go further down this road. Gertie will stop at nothing to remove all distractions from her monomania! She will leave a trail of dead behind her, you must remain silent at all times