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Dennis the Menace and Curtis, 12/19/24

Well, I guess yesterday’s Curtis is the start of an arc about how the kids today celebrate holidays differently, using technology, and I like that Greg’s exhausted facial expression tells us what he thinks about this but he still will only say philosophically that the only constant is change, all is vanity, etc., etc. Dennis the Menace put cyber-Christmas advocacy in the mouth of its most annoying character as well, but otherwise doesn’t outwardly condemn it. And if they won’t, I will. This is tacky and it sucks! Curtis, that app was a trick to get you to download cryptomining malware onto your phone, and Margaret, you are texting with a scammer in Southeast Asia who will convince you to send him your parents’ credit card and Social Security numbers by the end of the year.

Gearhead Gertie, 12/19/24

Speaking of celebrating Christmas differently, I’m not actually that interested in the fact that instead of enjoying classic modern-day Christmas tales Gertie would rather — surprise! — consume NASCAR-related content. I’m more curious about who the other two people on this couch are. Do Gertie and her increasingly alienated husband have [squints] a daughter and a grandson, or perhaps two grandchildren, and they’re staying together for their benefit? Or are these just two people they recruited off the street because they needed a “rule of three” setup for Gertie’s punchline? (Fun fact: Gertie thinks the “rule of three” is when Dale Earnhardt descends from heaven and implements his thousand-year kingdom on Earth).

Hi and Lois, 12/19/24

Remember: due to the oddnesses of comic-book time, we’ve been enjoying Trixie’s antics since the Eisenhower Administration, but she’s been alive for less than a year. This is the first time she’s ever experienced winter. She thinks Sunbeam, her only friend, is old and dying. Pretty bleak!

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Crock, 12/5/24

If these two guys have names, I don’t know what they are — the Wikipedia Crock article just calls them “the men of Outpost 5,” and they don’t merit a mention on the official King Features Crock character list — but their deal basically is that the guy on the right is always reading letters aloud about life in his hillbilly home town back in France (?). Anyway, I find today’s bit actually kind of heartening. The guy on the left generally looks uninterested during these recitations, but it’s clear he’s been paying attention. He knows the lore!

Gil Thorp, 12/5/24

“Coach, let me rephrase that. It’s cool that you decided to come back from your extended sick leave and all, but I get the feeling you’re only doing it to engage in psychological gamesmanship against your hated rival and not because you’re interested in molding a new generation of student-athletes or anything like that. I’m just a teenager who wants to play football! I don’t think I should be going out there! I’m not equipped for the emotional complexity of this whole scene!”

Gearhead Gertie, 12/5/24

Some might say that having two near-identical drawings in this cartoon is “lazy,” but I think it really hammers home Gertie’s emotional state. Her beloved NASCAR is in danger due to internal conflict, and she’s not exactly sure who to blame or how it’s going to end — maybe if she stays very still and just vaguely shit-talks the legal system, everything will work out for the best.

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Mary Worth, 11/21/24

This whole week has been about everyone (“everyone” being Toby and Dawn, admittedly) getting jazzed as hell about Thanksgiving, because Mary will be doing her famous home cooking for them, as is tradition now, apparently. Just like she did for Ed and Estelle’s wedding! Except today we’re learning that in fact that was a web of lies; Mary simply went to Off-Brand Costco, bought a shrimp tray, poured a can of shrimp cocktail into a mason jar next to it, and called it a day! She refused to rotisserie that chicken for the taquitos herself, but rather purchased one pre-rotisseried! What kind of “traditionalist” is she? Is just going to throw down a stack of freshly microwaved Hungry-Man® turkey dinners on the table next Thursday and dare anyone to argue about it?

Family Circus, 11/21/24

Oh, can Jeffy not play hide and seek because he can’t count? Well, then why was he playing hide and seek in this very strip mere weeks ago???? Finally, we have caught the Family Circus in a vile lie so blatant and hypocritical that it will have no choice but to cease publication forever. We did it, everbody! We got them!

Gearhead Gertie, 11/21/24

We’ve all had some fun with Gertie’s NASCAR monomania over the last … actually, I don’t know how long it’s been published, because it doesn’t have a Wikipedia article, which, you know, fair! It probably doesn’t deserve one! I don’t fall into the “deletionist” Wikipedia philosophical camp necessarily but I don’t think a Gearhead Gertie article is necessary, as convenient as it would’ve been for me to refer to it for this post. Point is, though, it’s been a while, and there’s only so much material we can get out of “Gertie sure loves NASCAR,” so it makes sense that the strip is actually pivoting towards “Gertie’s husband sure hates how much Gertie loves NASCAR, like you can tell it’s destroying their marriage and every day he dies a little bit more inside, but she she can’t see it.”

UPDATE: God bless you, “Gertie Fan,” aka Dclemens1971, for your Wikipedia service!