Archive: Gearhead Gertie

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Gearhead Gertie, 5/1/25

When you have a main character with a strong and deranged point of view, like Gertie in Gearhead Gertie, the question arises: are we meant to think that she’s insane, or that she’s the sane one in an insane universe that only she fully understands? The Gearhead Gertie strips where we see Gertie’s husband (LORE DROP: Gertie’s husband’s name is “Harold”) getting increasingly exasperated by her NASCAR monomania seem to indicate the former; but today’s strip, in which we learn that Gertie’s negative opinion about Formula One (a sport that millions of people in our universe enjoy and find exciting) is in fact objectively correct proves that, within the boundaries of this panel, it truly is Gearhead Gertie’s world and the rest of these poor unfortunate souls are just living in it.

Mary Worth, 5/1/25

Hey, fun fact: did you know that the dish Belle is referring to is usually called “black pudding,” because these days even non-vegans find the idea of eating blood a little gross, and there are in fact tons of vegan recipes for it? A lot of them are pretty low calorie, too. So maybe chill out a little, Dawn, I think you might be overreacting to this one.

Archie, 5/1/25

I’ve always admired the names of many of the adult characters in Archie Comics. “Geraldine Grundy,” “Waldo Weatherbee,” “Hiram Lodge,” “Professor Elmer Flutesnoot”: all god-tier comics names. Sadly, Archie’s dad is just “Fred Andrews,” which is much less interesting, though honestly he’s a much less interesting character, and I frankly have never really gotten a handle on what his deal is supposed to be. I guess he finds Archie irritating? Look at how aggrieved he is here, for instance. Hey, Fred, you ever think that your son’s lack of grit and time management skills might be at least partly your fault? You treat your son with disdain yet you proudly drink from a “#1 Dad” mug! You’ve got some self-reflection to do, mister.

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Family Circus, 3/27/25

I’m not entirely sure what this is even supposed to mean, but I guess it has to do with the fact that Big Daddy Keane can do math silently in his head. Can you imagine having thoughts that you don’t immediately blurt out loud, to the annoyance of everyone around you? Billy sure can’t!

Gearhead Gertie, 3/27/25

A lot of people complain when I post Gearhead Gertie strips. “How can you keep posting that strip that’s about nothing other than NASCAR?”, they ask me. Well, big news: today’s strip explores the divine cosmology of Gertie’s world. We learn that she exists not in a universe where a single remote and omnipotent deity is the sole creator, but rather one where a more accessible pagan pantheon manages the universe, and you can call them on the phone, to harass them about NASCAR.

Hi and Lois, 3/27/25

I’m enjoying visualizing what clearly happened between these panels: Thirsty announced that he was blowing off work to go to the game, and tried to convince his best friend and fellow baseball fan to join him, but Hi instead demurred and slunk off to the office like the coward he is.

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Herb and Jamaal, 3/13/25

Ha, no, see, Herb’s mother-in-law, “doomscrolling” just means when you keep going through your social media feeds on your phone, hoping for a little glimmer of something positive but instead only finding bad news that makes you increasingly gloomy. It does not mean the thing where you’re on your phone and you suddenly get a vivid and detailed vision of your own future death, but then just as quickly that awful omen vanishes from sight. I mean, I can see why you’d think that’s what doomscrolling might mean, what with it offering you premonitions of your own doom and all! But it doesn’t really happen often enough for people to give it a name, I don’t think. Does it, uh, often happen to you?

Mary Worth, 3/13/25

Dawn, there’s no need to be condescending to your old dad, he is not “pen pals” with a nice lady he met on a tour of a collectable spoon factory or something, he met a woman at an all-inclusive resort and they fucked for two weeks and now he’s messaging her using his computer or phone, both devices that have cameras built in just in case the light and friendly banter takes a turn towards the naked, and if you choose to continue to live in this house you will have to get used to that idea.

Gearhead Gertie, 3/13/25

“She’s actually just pretty much unhappy all the time, and quite frankly it’s difficult to live with.”