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Mary Worth, 12/4/25

“Good lord, Josh,” you’re almost certainly saying, “it’s been days since the first unpleasant Ian-Sunny encounter and you haven’t kept us updated, what is going on?????” Well, Ian has beaten a tactical retreat to the shower, where he is fuming, fuming at his humiliation. This oddball is going to grandstand like never before! The stakes could not be higher!

Gearhead Gertie, 12/4/25

Gertie marital dysfunction watch: Gertie’s husband, learning about a new venue for NASCAR racing, has preemptively compromised on their next vacation, hoping to combine some of the racing action his wife loves with a relaxing beach day of the sort that you’d think would appeal to just about anybody. “No,” says Gertie. “Fuck you. That’s not how this works. You know that’s not how this works.”

Daddy Daze, 12/4/25

I can never really figure out to what extent the conversations between the Daddy Daze baby and the Daddy Daze daddy are supposed to be “real,” and I guess that question can be extended to basically anything you see happening in the strip. Still, I feel like “your pre-verbal, non-walking baby is roaming the house in the middle of the night” is a scenario where you get out of bed and put them back in their crib, rather than just going back to sleep? I dunno, I’m not a parent, maybe the conventional wisdom has changed on this.

Pluggers, 12/4/25

You’re a plugger if you get invited to the sort of social events whose cancellation you’re notified about via a formal notice delivered by the U.S. Postal Service.

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Gearhead Gertie, 11/20/25

Gearhead Gertie’s loved ones are trying to break through her epistemological bubble that only allows her to think about NASCAR nonstop through the power of art. They started simple, with representational paintings; unfortunately, she was quickly able to assimilate that concept into her warped worldview by conflating the signifier and the signified and treating NASCAR-related objects as meriting display. So now they’ve escalated to more abstract pieces. And it’s working! This museum is beginning to rewire Gertie’s damaged psyche, but right now the only way she can process that is by mapping it onto visions of the destruction of her precious race cars. Excited to see if this leads to a breakthrough!

Beetle Bailey, 11/20/25

A thing I learned recently that I really enjoyed is that a lot of heterosexual ’80s metal guys thought that Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, whose stage costumes very much came out of the gay leather daddy subculture, looked cool and badass in a completely straight way and spent the better part of a decade emulating his look. Just thinking about that for no reason as this new recruit, outfitted by the culturally savvy Beetle Bailey team in the a classic “tough guy” outfit, looks positively delighted at the thought of Sarge’s forceful discipline!

Crankshaft, 11/20/25

“Also, it wasn’t really that hard to figure out. He only changed one letter!”

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Andy Capp, 11/6/25

I know increasing globalization means that cities around the world are becoming more and more similar to one another in their interlocked material and aesthetic conditions, but it is unsettling to learn that even in Andy Capp’s Hartlepool, hipsters are leading a wave of gentrification as they snap up apartments in formerly industrial waterfront areas. I guess I can console myself that a Hartlepool hipster is entirely unrecognizable to any normal person as such (buzz cut, minty green suit) and that the canal is still full of drunks in an unironic way, for now.

Beetle Bailey, 11/6/25

The essential tragedy of Cookie is that he really does enjoy his job, but is constantly crestfallen when the troops react to his offerings with disdain and disgust. Well, today you can see that they’ve finally broken him. Do they think he just churns out slop day after day? Well, he’ll give them slop. Why bother trying. Why bother caring. Eat your slop, piggies!

Gearhead Gertie, 11/6/25

Sorry, I absolutely refuse to believe that Gertie would spend the off-season reading the NASCAR rule book, a tome that she long ago memorized in every detail. No, she would kick back and enjoy working through the puzzles in the 1990 original Days of Thunder Movie Family Fun Book from Exxon. A steal on eBay at only $6.99! Grab one today for the Gertie in your life!