Post Content

Shoe, 1/12/10

Now here’s a lovely example of how a single word balloon can transform a comic from boring and pedestrian and vaguely insulting to completely bonkers. I’m referring, of course, to the balloon emerging from Roz’s sundae. What could have been a sub-Cathyism — hee hee, the ladies, they like eating fatty food and are awash in body image self-hate! — instead becomes a rapid descent into madness. This descent takes one of two paths. Roz may have gone insane, and is now hearing voices emitting from ordinary inanimate objects; it’s also possible that this is in fact a sentient, talking dessert. The latter possibility is pretty strange, but is it really any stranger than talking birds who use their wing-hands to eat ice cream? In this scenario, Roz’s admonishment to keep her gluttony a secret from her thighs isn’t a mere whimsical joke, since there’s no reason to think that those thighs can’t think and speak as well.

Either way, I like the fact that the ice cream sundae is neither cheerfully declaring its desire to be consumed (as one might expect in the “Roz is nuts” scenario) nor screaming in terror as the instrument of its murder approaches (as you’d guess a self-aware ice cream sundae would react in this situation); instead, it just gives Roz a standoffish “Uh … okay,” as if waiting to see where this is all going.

Mary Worth, 1/12/10

Today’s Mary Worth demonstrates the limits of Mary’s memory self-modification techniques. Jill urges everyone to purge from their minds the image of her making a drunken scene and being forcibly removed from the rehearsal dinner; and yet panel one demonstrates with its complete awesome hilariousness that we can never, ever let such good times vanish from our recollections. Is Jill sticking her tongue out? Is Dr. Jeff raising his upper lip in a tough-guy sneer? Never forget, I say. Never forget.

Gil Thorp, 1/12/10

Oh, hey, remember Gil Thorp’s new extremely thinly veiled gay character? Turns out he’s Gil Thorp’s new extremely thinly veiled gay basketball prodigy! Also, he really, really likes vests, for some reason.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/12/10

Ha ha, looks like somebody stopped just talking about it and actually had Snuffy brutally assaulted!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 1/5/11

Look at panel two in isolation and you’d think that Mary views father-son bonding as a spectator sport. “Here we go!” she thinks, as she pops something tan and oblong into her mouth. “They’re gonna hella bond! This is going to be great!” But check her out in panel one, looking blissed out as she shoves something or other up between her gum and her upper lip. I’m assuming it’s something hallucinogenic. “Here we go!” she’s saying in panel two. “Oh, the colors!”

Gil Thorp, 1/5/11

Much as I’ve been trying to avoid bringing it up, I feel have to acknowledge that the Gil Thorp basketball season plot seems to have set its two new characters — a Jesus-happy basketball player and an almost-certainly-gay teen as imagined by someone who’s heard of gay people but never actually met one — on a collision course. This certainly won’t be awkward, at all!

Gasoline Alley, 1/5/11

Speaking of piety, Gasoline Alley has continued its attempt to ditch its goody-goody image by dabbling in blasphemy. Today it suggests that the Holy Bible is best used as a weight-loss aid.

Spider-Man, 1/5/11

Spider-Man has lost interest in the middle of his own comic strip and let his mind wander. And who can blame him, really? I only wish he weren’t wearing his spider-mask in panel two, because it would be great to see his slack jaw and the little bit of drool emerging from the side of his mouth.

Luann, 1/5/11

Dear Luann,

Never use “finger” as a verb ever again.

Sincerely,
The Comics Curmudgeon

Post Content

Mary Worth, 12/21/10

Ever since she successfully cured Dr. Mike’s inability to love, Mary’s fancied herself something of an amateur therapist. Today we learn just how far she’s going with her little hobby: she’s apparently developed some extreme form of rational-emotive behavioral therapy where patients use their thoughts to control not only their emotions and attitudes, but their memories as well. “Jill, you were only abandoned by your fiance at the altar because that’s how you choose to remember it! If you simply rethink your memories, then perhaps you’ll realize that he did show up after all, and you’ve been happily married for the past seven years! If you go home and find your house still empty and lonesome, it probably just means that you’re not trying hard enough.”

Gil Thorp, 12/21/10

Notice that Gil actually gives Marty a straight and substantive answer about sports, — in response to Marty’s hesitant attempt to establish emotional intimacy with his long-term frenemy. “Jeez, I’m glad I didn’t tell him that what I wish I had but don’t: recognition from my journalistic peers and my parents of how hard I work on my sportswriting craft. Christ, I feel like an asshole now.”

Apartment 3-G, 12/21/10

Hmm, the girls are already dressed in their best party clothes — Margo in an actually rather fetching little black dress, Tommie in her Star Trek: The Motion Picture-era Starfleet uniform, and Lu Ann in [artist’s duty to think of third party outfit avoided by crafty foreground figure placement] — and Iris has gotten out the punch bowl and traditional balloon wreath, and yet this seems to be the first our trio of protagonists have heard of this party. The possibilities: either we’re in the last scene of an ’80s comedy and all Iris needs to do is mention a party to summon the various accoutrements thereof out of thin air while a Journey soundtrack blares in the background, or she was planning on throwing a swell party and not inviting the 3-G gals, a plan they ruined by stopping by unannounced on their way someplace else.

By the way, it’s nice to see that Iris is planning on repaying Mrs. Bloom’s kind offer of a free place to crash by trashing said free place with endless partying.

Mark Trail, 12/21/10

“Yes, just put your boat near his boat! I am ‘interested’ in being within seeing distance of him! This is because of something I will explain later. It certainly not because I am on a secret government mission, so do not believe that! I am, uh, interested in making sex with him! Yes, that’s it! That’s something humans say, right?”

Ziggy, 12/21/10

Since the mice in Ziggy are generally portrayed as anthropomorphic wisecrackers, the sight of one dead and dangling limply from a cat’s grinning mouth is fairly startling. What could make this worse? Oh, right, the thought of the stench of searing mouse flesh, the hint of which will always linger on the coils of the toaster’s heating elements! Yes, that will do nicely.

Funky Winkerbean, 12/21/10

Oh, look, despite a mysterious phone call from his dead wife warning him not to get on his flight, Les did not in fact die in a fiery plane crash. I know, I’m just as disappointed as you are.